Your success or failure

genecop

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Are you responsible? If someone is driven to succeed , why are they, who or what put that drive in them...?

If your lazy and not motivated, why, what causes that lack of drive..?
 
I think there are two big factors that are in one's control that hinder his/her ability to succeed.
The first one I struggled with is not knowing what to do. I felt I gotta work at something but I didn't know what to do for a long time. Sometimes it's just a matter of choosing a direction.

Once you choose that direction, it's really a matter of developing habits. Motivation is overrated in my opinion; people do what they are conditioned to do. Motivation is needed to start an endeavor, but habit is what sustains it. I remember having internal battles against myself to try to get myself to the gym. Now I don't even think about it. It's just a part of my life now. If anything breaking that routine by not going to the gym on rest days feels weird.
 
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Someone who gave me a start in something, and a chance when no one else would was killed some years ago.

I always remember him looking at me and saying "don't let me down".

That is a big internal motivator for me. It has brought me through this far, to honor his memory, and the faith he put in me.
 
Drugs and alcohol fucked me in my 20s. Now I have a misdemeanor assault charge that has fucked me on several job opportunities. Hopefully I'll be able to get that bitch expunged eventually
 
I’m looking deeper, not the practical mechanics of success or failure..but things like Drive, what makes one person push through and another give up? Specifically what does one person have that the other does not?
 
If your lazy and not motivated, why, what causes that lack of drive..?

Because I realized early on that it's just a popularity contest. I've seen designers bringing their outside work in the office and it's just mostly them tracing other peoples artwork. Post them online. Profit.
 
I’m looking deeper, not the practical mechanics of success or failure..but things like Drive, what makes one person push through and another give up? Specifically what does one person have that the other does not?
Probably a plethora of deep psychological factors that are way too much analyze. Some people just have it. To me it seems like a lot of great achievers have some sort of insecurity that they are trying to compensate for, especially if you look at fighters.
 
I have large burst of both ..

Its not very functional in day to day living
 
Probably a plethora of deep psychological factors that are way too much analyze. Some people just have it. To me it seems like a lot of great achievers have some sort of insecurity that they are trying to compensate for, especially if you look at fighters.

I think your correct , it’s very complex , “Deep Psycology” is part of it, but that encompasses so much..I think there is something else as well. We are all born with some qualities and attributes, right out of the gate..
 
I have to say I am envious of people who are natural entrepreneurial go-getters. The type of kids who think of a way to make money off their comic books or baseball cards since very young. I know people who always think of business ideas and starting those endeavors isn't as big of a deal for them. There are people who think of an idea and they just do it. Meanwhile I have to think over relatively trivial decisions for a long time before I finally make up my mind. I am getting better at it though.

One factor is parenting. I think my parents had a lot to do with my history of fear. My family as a whole are terrified of any path that's not safe and instilled that in me. I always looked for "safe" ways to do things. When one of my cousins decided to quit his well-paying job and start his own business, everybody in the family except for his parents worried about how stupid he was being. Now he's expanding his business overseas while nobody else on that side of my family was ever a boss. My dad had a long career in the military and got a PhD and was the pride of our family. His brother (my cousin's dad) barely graduated highschool and made it by constantly trying different businesses and failed many times. He was seen as a mess compared to my dad, but it's apparent to me that he passed down that entrepreneurial attitude to his son and he's benefiting from it now.
 
Success has a thousand fathers, failure is an orphan. Therefore, when I succeed successes are my own. When I fail I blame my parents.
 
I had this thought when talking with my girlfriend a few moments ago. She immigrated to the UK at 22 and told a story that showed herself as very driven.

I was a failure, because I was a painfully shy, undisciplined, miserable little shit.

My mother worked her hardest, but she didn't pay much attention to my mental needs because she was exhausted and probably depressed. She bollocked my brother and I when we acted out, put clothes on us, made us food etc but we never talked about my day or my future.

I wish Dad stayed, even though he made himself into a millionaire without us. I needed his guidance.
 
I think a big factor is how you are raised. I'm just using myself as an example, but while a lot was expected of me based on the aptitude that I showed, there was no one that ever demanded excellence. A couple of teachers told my grandmother that I could have skipped a grade if I put my mind to things, but as long as I knew I could do just enough to pass, why try any harder?

I feel like if there were consequences or, better yet, rewards for making A's, then that would have been ingrained in me. As it stands, I'm now an adult that, you guessed it, doesn't aim to please anyone and is content with "just enough". I don't say this as an excuse, but more as an underlying reason.
 
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