Uncle Handle's guide to Game..

[Jack Handy jr]

wow where to even begin.

I made a couple of threads lately that in all honesty were meant in jest however a strange thing happened....a lot of my sherbros started answering seriously and what was revealed was astonishing.... Many of if not most of my sherbros have absolutely know idea what they're doing in regards to women.

So if you take the time to read this consider yourself lucky..,cause I'm not supposed to give the game away for free but you guys are my online bros and many of you are tragically ill equipped to deal with women. Now pay attention feel free to ask questions only serious inquires will be responded to.

Rule number 1. bitches ain't shit

Rule number 2. Never ever give a girl any grip. Once you give a girl money and you haven't tapped it several dozen if not hundreds of times.......makes you a busta.

Rule number 3. Never ever tell a girl you love her first , a mistake I made when I was young and "in love" you've just lost all leverage, alpha credibility, and negotiating power going forward.

Rule number 4. Never "go down" before she does if at all.

Rule number 5. Never answer your cell phone the first time she calls get her conditioned to you returning her calls at least ten minutes after she's called same with texts. However she should always answer your call promptly and return your texts immediately

Rule number 6. Be sparing with compliments. I know this seems counter intuitive. But the more you give appearance compliments, the more she'll see you as soft.

Rule number 7. Another one of my faux Pais I had to learn the hard way. Never ever buy a girl you like flowers...never. Wife mother of your kids fine go head. But a girl you're dating no.

Rule number 8. Never be gentle. I haven't "made love" in ages nope women actually don't want romance and slow grind. They want you to beat their brakes off in as many positions as possible trust me hair pulling, and slapping ass makes her think alpha even if your secretly not dominance in the sack makes them climax quicker too.

Rule number 9. See rule number 1.


Rule number 10. You may think it's impossible to cross the bridge of jock nerd, geek playa. But it can be done I have hundreds of comic books am the biggest anime video game geek I know. And when I was single after admittedly some trial and error..I couldn't lose.

Take uncle Handle's advice and you too can become a sexual tyrannosaurus .

Anybody else with some advise for these young pitiful lads feel free to chime in..our sherbros need our help. And since I'm out da game and no longer see other playas as competition I don't mind sharing the game.

 

[Kowboy Karl]

Make sure she places the lotion in the basket

 

[HunterIII]

Yes the weight gain strategy is a delicate one and is done best with subtlety. You can't let her think you are trying to cause her to gain the weight. You can avoid this by ordering a somewhat healthier entree for her every once in awhile or a Cobb salad. Also mix in a box of chocolates on special occasions or surprise her with some other sweets like that every now and again.

Ideally she will gain a little extra thickness which will be enjoyable for you but not so much that she goes from an La 9 to a Tulsa 7. She will think way more into a small weight gain than she should and you can even drop little subliminal messages like "I better get going, I have a big day at work tommorow" or "There's a big game on later". Just little things that will help keep her mind fixated on her size without you being outright degrading to her.

LOL, this is just ridiculous. I appreciate the effort you took to write this nonsense for the sake of making others like myself lol.

 

[MoparOrNoCar]

wow where to begin.

I made a couple of threads lately that in all honesty were meant in jest however a strange thing happened....a lot of my sherbros started answering seriously and what was revealed was astonishing.... Many of if not most of my sherbros have absolutely know idea what they're doing in regards to women.

So if you take the time to read this consider yourself lucky..,cause I'm not supposed to give the game away for free but you guys are my online bros and many of you are tragically ill equipped to deal with women. Now pay attention feel free to ask questions only serious inquires will be responded to.

Rule number 1. bitches ain't shit

Rule number 2. Never ever give a girl any grip. Once you give a girl money and you haven't tapped it several dozen if not hundreds of times.......makes you a busta.

Rule number 3. Never ever tell a girl you love her first , a mistake I made when I was young and "in love" you've just lost all leverage, alpha credibility, and negotiating power going forward.

Rule number 4. Never "go down" before she does if at all.

Rule number 5. Never answer your cell phone the first time she calls get her conditioned to you returning her calls at least ten minutes after she's called same with texts. However she should always answer your call promptly and return your texts immediately

Rule number 6. Be sparing with compliments. I know this seems counter intuitive. But the more you give appearance compliments, the more she'll see you as soft.

Rule number 7. Another one of my faux Pais I had to learn the hard way. Never ever buy a girl you like flowers...never. Wife mother of your kids fine go head. But a girl you're dating no.

Rule number 8. Never be gentle. I haven't "made love" in ages nope women actually don't want romance and slow grind. They want you to beat their brakes off in as many positions as possible trust me hair pulling, and slapping ass makes her think alpha even if your secretly not dominance in the sack makes them climax quicker too.

Rule number 9. See rule number 1.


Rule number 10. You may think it's impossible to cross the bridge of jock nerd, geek playa. But it can be done I have hundreds of comic books am the biggest anime video game geek I know. And when I was single after admittedly some trial and error..I couldn't lose.

Take uncle Handle's advice and you too can become a sexual tyrannosaurus .

Anybody else with some advise for these young pitiful lads feel free to chime in..our sherbros need our help. And since I'm out da game and no longer see other playas as competition I don't mind sharing the game.

These commandments have been passed down from god to man. Carved into stone and cured through a process of hell's fire and brimstone. Jack, a man god has deemed worthy of the responsibilities, has now entered into the deity realm and through processes that us mortals cannot understand, is now the medium between the laws of god and the spoken word of man. If we are to evolve as a society we must demand that all of Jack Handy jr's posts be scribed in calligraphy, bound on papyrus and passed out freely to every man who walks amongst us.

 

[Jack Handy jr]

These commandments have been passed down from god to man. Carved into stone and cured through a process of hell's fire and brimstone. Jack, a man god has deemed worthy of the responsibilities, has now entered into the deity realm and through processes that us mortals cannot understand, is now the medium between the laws of god and the spoken word of man. If we are to evolve as a society we must demand that all of Jack Handy jr's posts be scribed in calligraphy, bound on papyrus and passed out freely to every man who walks amongst us.

I approve of this post

 

[Sampsonsimpson]

LOL, this is just ridiculous. I appreciate the effort you took to write this nonsense for the sake of making others like myself lol.

It may sound ridiculous but you follow the plan and she'll be eating out of the palm of your hand, possibly literally.

 

[PancraseForever]

When women approach and try to pick me up I often feel so awkward about it I just leave. I am very reserved and women pretty much have to do all the talking at parties as I just sit there and give one word responses.

 

[Rhood]

When women approach and try to pick me up I often feel so awkward about it I just leave. I am very reserved and women pretty much have to do all the talking at parties as I just sit there and give one word responses.

 

[steve38]

Great OP. Yeah, confidence and attitude....you can still be a nice guy, just don't tolerate any BS, and make that clear. It's really that simple.

 

[Higus]

Most advice stems from a simple rule: Relationships are power struggles and the person who loves the least is in control. Women are attracted to dominant men, so if they are perfectly happy be in a position of weakness in a relationship, although they may test their partner occasionally if they don't have confidence in him.

The best advice I ever got was to follow the 3/5 ratio: Whatever she does for you, only return 3/5ths back. If she sends you 5 texts, only answer 3. If she makes you 5 dinners, take her out to 3 movies. It applies to gifts, sexual favors, conversation, chores, etc. In general, she should be working harder at keeping you happy than you are for her. One of the greatest ironies the differences of the sexes is that women are turned off by guys who try too hard to make them happy, but will chase after guys who don't make time for them.

 

[Jack Handy jr]

Most advice stems from a simple rule: Relationships are power struggles and the person who loves the least is in control. Women are attracted to dominant men, so if they are perfectly happy be in a position of weakness in a relationship, although they may test their partner occasionally if they don't have confidence in him.

The best advice I ever got was to follow the 3/5 ratio: Whatever she does for you, only return 3/5ths back. If she sends you 5 texts, only answer 3. If she makes you 5 dinners, take her out to 3 movies. It applies to gifts, sexual favors, conversation, chores, etc. In general, she should be working harder at keeping you happy than you are for her. One of the greatest ironies the differences of the sexes is that women are turned off by guys who try too hard to make them happy, but will chase after guys who don't make time for them.

Outstanding take and so true.

It as my trial and error experience that women no matter what their social economic class is want to feel like they have a guy other women desire. This could be the James dean "bad boy" ,the playa, the quarterback,the rich guy. You know the guy we're not.

The thing is most guys aren't playas, because they don't know how to juggle multiple women simultaneously and make it work with out their car being scratched up or doused with paint.

Most guys aren't going to be the quarterback, or the rich guy and as far as the rich guy no rules apply to him. He can be as beta as he wants and he still holds the ultimate vehicle that drives women to drop trou. And that's cash.

So we're left with the bad boy Schtick, see guys women want a bad boy that they think they've tamed, betasized,that they eventually turn into a broken low testosterone husband.

The thing is if it's a girl you really like you can't let her know that you like her...I know this seems counter intuitive. but you have to exude body language that you're not pressed ..that you could careless about that pot of gold between her legs.

This in Turn will actually make her want you even more..it's a very intense psychological game of chess you're playing if your a typical nice guy trying to land the girl you have a goofball head over heels crush on.

Now. to go the other way and be a complete goof troop and give her compliments every five seconds,but flowers, and present no challenge to her as far as her changing you from bad to good she will lose interest(unless you're rich) and go on to give her goods to an alpha.

Or even worse you get an emotional vampire a girl that is completely aware and knows that she will never give you any poontang but she keeps you around like a love sick puppy extracting money, and favors from you.

all the while giving her body in every way imaginable to the alpha or bad boy who she desperately wants. Who in comparison is doing absolutely NOTHING in terms of money and favors. Yet he can fuck her anytime and in any way he wants why you sit back waiting desperately hoping she's going to call and fulfill your goofball beta fantasy of living happily ever after.


Learn my padawans Learn

 

[no fat chicks]

Rule number 4 is my weak point... I'm always down to eat some box if she's hot.

What can I say...

Ejaxxx out.

Mucking bin is a sure fire way to make her want more and tell her friends how awesome you are

 

[DaDamn]

Always walk out of the room after you answer your phone.


Throw some honesty into your game just to fuck with them even harder.


Tell them how much you think they look like their mom then make a sour face.


Always ask how that “one” cute friend is doing and where she’s gonna be later.


Tell her that her ex is one of your best friends and he told you how she likes it.

 

[EJAXXX]

Mucking bin is a sure fire way to make her want more and tell her friends how awesome you are

This guy knows.

Plus I'm not having one night stands and going down on sloars... I like going for women that give me some type of challenge. I'm not saying I fuck dimes every time, but I pick and choose wisely.

 

[Bang Bang]

So you have to give the appearance of a"bad boy,playa,alpha" even if you're really a nice guy. This will take some planning and guile, even some rudimentary thespian skills on your behalf. This shit is chess not checkers dog.

.

the easiest way of doing that is to not give a fuck about her. legit, stop giving a fuck. she can walk, or she can call someone to get her if she doesnt like something about you. theres waaaay too many girls out there to get hung up one who doesnt really want you.

I think too many dudes are stuck thinking that they have to make the woman feel comfy, happy, and floating on cloud nine with your niceness. thats not true. itll never work. just be you and take her along for the ride. shes YOUR sidekick, you dont ask her what she likes, you just do shit with her because you like it.

 

[Jack Handy jr]

the easiest way of doing that is to not give a fuck about her. legit, stop giving a fuck. she can walk, or she can call someone to get her if she doesnt like something about you. theres waaaay too many girls out there to get hung up one who doesnt really want you.

I think too many dudes are stuck thinking that they have to make the woman feel comfy, happy, and floating on cloud nine with your niceness. thats not true. itll never work. just be you and take her along for the ride. shes YOUR sidekick, you dont ask her what she likes, you just do shit with her because you like it.

2003...damn OG......Tripple OG

 

[Jack Handy jr]

Always walk out of the room after you answer your phone.


Throw some honesty into your game just to fuck with them even harder.


Tell them how much you think they look like their mom then make a sour face.


Always ask how that “one” cute friend is doing and where she’s gonna be later.


Tell her that her ex is one of your best friends and he told you how she likes it.

Iiii'mmmm not sure about 2 and 4 mang.

 

[KnightTemplar]

wow where to begin.

I made a couple of threads lately that in all honesty were meant in jest however a strange thing happened....a lot of my sherbros started answering seriously and what was revealed was astonishing.... Many of if not most of my sherbros have absolutely know idea what they're doing in regards to women.

So if you take the time to read this consider yourself lucky..,cause I'm not supposed to give the game away for free but you guys are my online bros and many of you are tragically ill equipped to deal with women. Now pay attention feel free to ask questions only serious inquires will be responded to.

Rule number 1. bitches ain't shit

Rule number 2. Never ever give a girl any grip. Once you give a girl money and you haven't tapped it several dozen if not hundreds of times.......makes you a busta.

Rule number 3. Never ever tell a girl you love her first , a mistake I made when I was young and "in love" you've just lost all leverage, alpha credibility, and negotiating power going forward.

Rule number 4. Never "go down" before she does if at all.

Rule number 5. Never answer your cell phone the first time she calls get her conditioned to you returning her calls at least ten minutes after she's called same with texts. However she should always answer your call promptly and return your texts immediately

Rule number 6. Be sparing with compliments. I know this seems counter intuitive. But the more you give appearance compliments, the more she'll see you as soft.

Rule number 7. Another one of my faux Pais I had to learn the hard way. Never ever buy a girl you like flowers...never. Wife mother of your kids fine go head. But a girl you're dating no.

Rule number 8. Never be gentle. I haven't "made love" in ages nope women actually don't want romance and slow grind. They want you to beat their brakes off in as many positions as possible trust me hair pulling, and slapping ass makes her think alpha even if your secretly not dominance in the sack makes them climax quicker too.

Rule number 9. See rule number 1.


Rule number 10. You may think it's impossible to cross the bridge of jock nerd, geek playa. But it can be done I have hundreds of comic books am the biggest anime video game geek I know. And when I was single after admittedly some trial and error..I couldn't lose.

Take uncle Handle's advice and you too can become a sexual tyrannosaurus .

Anybody else with some advise for these young pitiful lads feel free to chime in..our sherbros need our help. And since I'm out da game and no longer see other playas as competition I don't mind sharing the game.

You're the Obi Wan of this shit, Jack. Teach us the ways of the Force

 

[method115]

And the terrible thing about being unwittingly friend zoned is that there's no escape. once your there you will never find your self balls deep with said girl.

This isn't always true. There is a reason we continue to see guys who get friend zoned stick around it's because sometimes it works. I never bother wasting my time but my cousin had a friend who would always get friend zoned and he did get to bang the girl once. We were laughing so hard about it when my cousin was like "he did it, he finally banged (insert girls name)". To be fair this was a straight slut. Not even joking we were at a bar once and my cousin started pointing out people she banged at this bar we were at must have been at least 10-13 guys.

 

[ripskater]

I broke a few of those rules dating my wife but it didn't stop us from getting married. I got her flowers and notes sometimes. I know I complimented her and told her she looked good. I told her I loved her first. My wife knew I was really into her. The thing is, if you think you've found that dream girl for you, you've gotta have confidence and a life outside of her. If you're fun, confident and she likes where the two of you could end up together, I think you can throw lots of rules out the window.