Favorite "Seinfeld" show quotes

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Kirin said:
"Krueger, you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot babe...oh well, I lost my train of thought."








"What am I waiting to win an oscar here? This is all I have in life; it was great cleavage."

"It's why I poked."

"That's why I peeked."
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Those exchanges xD
 
Dean: As far as I can tell your entire enterprise is more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.
Dean Jones: I’m sorry, but we can’t allow Darren to continue working with you.
Kramer: Well, I have to say this seems capricious and arbitrary.
Dean Jones: Your fly's open.

David Puddy:
Yeah, that's right.

Frank Costanza:
I got no leg room... because of her I have to sit in the back, LIKE AN ANIMAL!
 
.....MAN! THAT MICHAEL JORDAN SO PHONY!

WHY'DYOUHAFTAGOANDTELLIM????
 
The human fund origins

Every Christmas, Castle Rock would send everybody a card saying, ‘A donation has been made in your name to a charity.’ We always wondered how much they had donated, and if it was made in our name, why couldn’t we use the tax write-off? That became a running joke in the office. George realized that really the scam is that he doesn’t have to give gifts anymore. He can just send cards saying, ‘A donation has been made in your name,’ to a made-up charity. That’s how that came about. Let’s make up a charity that nobody could possibly bust you on, that’s so generic. So, that was the Human Fund.
 
Fugazi said:
The human fund origins

Every Christmas, Castle Rock would send everybody a card saying, ‘A donation has been made in your name to a charity.’ We always wondered how much they had donated, and if it was made in our name, why couldn’t we use the tax write-off? That became a running joke in the office. George realized that really the scam is that he doesn’t have to give gifts anymore. He can just send cards saying, ‘A donation has been made in your name,’ to a made-up charity. That’s how that came about. Let’s make up a charity that nobody could possibly bust you on, that’s so generic. So, that was the Human Fund.
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Ha I gave out cards one year saying in lieu of a gift a donation in your name has been made to the Human fund

......only a few people got it
 
The cameos had great lines too. Bryan Cranston as Tim Whatley:

Tim: Jerry, it's our sense of humor that sustained us as a people for 3000 years.

Jerry: 5000.

Tim: 5000, even better. Okay, Chrissie. Give me a schtickle of flouride.
 
Peterman: Jibba, jawa, jawanunai.

Elaine: You speak Burmese?

Peterman: No Elaine, that was gibberish. So did you have any trouble finding the place?

Elaine: No, you're the only white poet warlord in the neighborhood.

Peterman: Are you an assassin?
 
"Karma Kramer?"

George : Why don't you find a doctor that doesn't know your difficult .
Elaine : Oh come on . I'm not difficult . I'm easy .
Jerry : Why because you dress casual and sleep with a lot of guys .

TOR: (Pouring tea) Your tea is ready now. This will solve your so-called tonsil problem. It's a special concoction. It contains crampbark.
JERRY: I love crampbark.
TOR: Cleavers.
JERRY: Cleaver, I once had cleaver as a kid. I was able to lift a car.
TOR: And some couchgrass.
JERRY: Couchgrass and crampbark? You know, I think that's what killed Curly.

Seinfeld is GOAT sitcom for sure.
 
George: "She's got a little Marissa Tomei thing going on."

Jerry: "Too bad you got a little George Costanza thing going on."

In the episode where George and Jerry tamper with George's gf's answering machine, George distracts her by saying he has something really important to tell her as he drags her to another room. When they come back out the gf is all:

"That's what you had to tell me???? Your father wears sneakers in the pool???"
 
The Susan Ross Foundation episode.
Van Burren boys, returning the pants he was wearing, Steven Koren
 
rj144 said:
Peterman: Jibba, jawa, jawanunai.

Elaine: You speak Burmese?

Peterman: No Elaine, that was gibberish. So did you have any trouble finding the place?

Elaine: No, you're the only white poet warlord in the neighborhood.

Peterman: Are you an assassin?
Click to expand...
The "No, Elaine, that was gibberish." fucking kills me.
 
It's the hardest tragedy when they send the ones closest to you ... to kill you. Available in sizes 36 to 42.
 
"George is getting upset!"

"Jimmy is gonna put the moves on Elaine."
 
Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of YOU!
 
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