Bystander brahs

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by no fat chicks, Dec 7, 2017.

  1. no fat chicks Worlds greatest poster

    no fat chicks
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    Share your tales of when you were a brave bystander berry bros!


    Since we are all 6ft 8 super athletes benching teh 275 just to get our heart rates going i feel like we should collectively have a few tales of public spaces being filled with uppercuts.

    My moment of glory and self sacrifice occurred in the most humble of places. A hero was needed but could not be found. While everyone waited politely for their late night fix, a single slice of pizza, a rotund female found it her right to waddle in front of the entire line!

    Perhaps it was the recent events of the time ( randy had just beat big tim) or my exposure to studies dealing the the bystander effect that influenced me that night. Whatever the cause this injustice would not go un noticed. I proceeded to march up and exclaim that she waddle to the back of the line where she belongs. This did not go over well with her boyfriend, who she apparently had gone to stand in the line with.

    At a cross roads now I knew what had to be done. No one is above justice. I told the boyfriend he should better himself by ending his relations with the fat line jumper. This only increased the tension to the point that one of his redheaded cronies decided to swing on me. Luckily I have been a follower of worldstar hip hop and was able to notice the shot slightly faster than your average bear. I ducked into the shot hitting his fist with my forehead and initiated a clinch. Within seconds he was against the wall and I was filling the joint with uppercuts and hooks ala carwin vs mir. It was then the unexpected happened and out of the corner of my eye a flash of red hair appears. "That's my brother!!" Is all I hear as I'm struck by another red haired menace. Suddenly another person grabs both my arms from behind. The fight has been stopped.

    The offending party leaves, pizza not in hand. I slink off into the night before authorities can come and congratulate me for my selfless act.
     
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  2. Uptown Swinger Boogie Down Bronx Belt

    Uptown Swinger
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    @no fat chicks

    You should be honored a medal. Thank you for your service.

    [​IMG]
     
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  3. Krixes Brown Belt

    Krixes
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    I used to work for a car dealership when I was a teenager, I did everything from clean cars, deliver parts etc...One day I was picking up a part from a local dealership when this older couple pulled in an older Ford Truck. The old guy got out and left his wife in the truck and it started rolling backwards. I jumped in it and slammed down on the brake and put the truck back into park (it was a 3 on the tree manual). I never even got a thank you, in fact the old guy yelled at me for jumping in his truck. It was pretty crazy and nobody really ever understood what was happening.
     
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  4. Thai Domi Silver Belt

    Thai Domi
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    I'm a bystander itt, because tl;dr.
     
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  5. no fat chicks Worlds greatest poster

    no fat chicks
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    Would you ever stand up and take action if something call3d for it? Like a dude striking his lady?
     
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  6. pinger Brown Belt

    pinger
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  7. burge13 Orange Belt

    burge13
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    Genuinely laughed through most of this but the "i gave sh1t-skull the finger out the window" had me in hysterics. Brilliant
     
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  8. MadSquabbles500 Gold Belt

    MadSquabbles500
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    One time, I was walking back to car from work, and this chinese delivery man was running and yelling at me, "herp, herp, he store my money". I see this other guy running away.

    But I dont do anything. I was out of shape, and had not trained in a while. I was chicken shit. But this did motivate me to go back to training. Yet that did not last long. Nothing else happen so I did not need it.

    I realize H2H is an inefficient method to protect yourself and those you want to help. You need tools like guns. If I had a gun that day, Id shoot that chinese delivery boy robber. Or heck, I shoot both and keep the money.
     
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  9. pinger Brown Belt

    pinger
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    Yeah, it's a cracker. The Aussie-isms are also perfect- "bogan", "shit-skull" etc.
     
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  10. Hearse Lightning Purple Belt

    Hearse Lightning
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    Like an hour ago. Some dude at the bar gets up to leave. I said, "yo is that yours?"

    He said, "yup.”

    Was his debit card.


    Boom.
     
    #10
  11. burge13 Orange Belt

    burge13
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    Just the gutlessness of giving the finger out the window too. Amazing story for something so simple
     
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  12. no fat chicks Worlds greatest poster

    no fat chicks
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    Your a good guy hearse
     
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  13. DataBreach 'Tis the season Bitches

    DataBreach
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    Back in college two of my fraternity bros (i didn't really like either) needed a place to smoke herb and chill before a party. I let them smoke in front of me and this chick I was playing backgammon with.

    The main dude didn't even offer us a smoke but I knew his game so I just ignored them both. They leave and I noticed the other guy left like a quarter of weed in the frisbee. I run outside and tell the guy he left some behind and he tells me it's a peace offering.

    We both knew what he meant. There were fights in our fraternity and I was going to smoke this kid at our next meeting.
     
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  14. Tuf_guy Red Belt

    Tuf_guy
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    Was jogging on campus during Fall (had graduated a second time the previous May). Some dude was skateboarding down a long slope (and through those little bumpy squares). Dude tumbles, big time and even goes heels over head, backwards. He starts bleeding from his head, and above his eye swells. Tried to borrow a phone, but camous police showed up after I found out the dude had a phone. Ambulance comes and the cop asks for my student ID number for some reason.

    Also saw a guy after he crashed hjs motorcycle and was knocked out in the street.

    Saw sidewalk and asked if he needed help. He said yes, so pulled over and called help. Others came and helped block traffic (as in motorcycle story). Guy was really thankful.
    After he was carried away, someone posed the reasonable question of whether he was just drunk (still not sure)

    Etc.
     
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  15. Sonny Titanium Belt

    Sonny
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    Never felt the need to step in. I’m sure someone else will. Amirite?
     
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  16. ScarHead Orange Belt

    ScarHead
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    My elderly neightbor had a cancer relapse and a tumer in her leg that left her hospitalized and couldn't walk on her own anymore.

    She had to be moved into assisted living.

    I adopted her dog to keep him in his familiar environment. I keep in touch with her by phone and Facebook and share pics n videos of him ebjoyinf himself at my cottage . I invite her over so they can cuddle on the couch or ill go visit her and we have tea n crackers.
     
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  17. Protectandserve Black Belt

    Protectandserve
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    It's ok we know he then went on to shoot Uncle Ben and you had to fully embrace the mantle of Spiderman after this...
     
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  18. D Train Silver Belt

    D Train
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    I saw a dog get hit by a car. He was clearly dead, but I moved him out the road and called his owner and waited until he got there.
     
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  19. Jack Reacheround Never Go Black

    Jack Reacheround
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    My neighbors at my old house, boyfriend and girlfriend, got into a massive fight where the cops were called, a restraining order was filed, and they both moved out immediately. They abandoned their cat, who was maybe 9 months old. I took him in. I still have him and he is my favorite cat ever and I like him more than I like any person, including my wife.
     
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  20. Kuwabara377 White Belt

    Kuwabara377
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    When I was in 1st grade our teacher would have us follow her in a single file line when we went to other classrooms in the school. One time when we were marching behind her I noticed a stench... I wasn't the only one and as I looked back one of the more timid lads in my class looked a bit uncomfortable. Poor guy had obviously shit his pants (you all know that walk). So each of the kids in line were whispering in the ear of the kid in front of them that "Billy" shit himself. The other kids were giggling and pointed at him, I have yet to see more shame on a persons face then that of "Billy". So when the girl behind me whispered into my ear that "Billy poo-ed himself" instead of telling the kid in front of me I broke out of the line and went right up to the teacher and whispered to her that "I think Billy has had an accident." She walked back to him and quietly took him to the nurses office (I am guessing).

    I was never close friends with the lad but he was always in the same schools as me through out high school. When ever we saw each other he just kind of gave me a nod of gratitude knowing that I knew he shit his pants and helped him out of that situation instead of telling the other kids. This is probably my greatest deed
     
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