Feeling like a lame neck beard, but can’t help myself

[LiLoMMA]

So I’m a bit drunk, and got unto IG to waste time and maybe see if any hot celebs posted pics I’d be interested in.
Then I see that my girl Lindsay went live recently, so I click on that. She’s actually pretty boring and mundane usually, outside of getting punched in the face by the mom of the kid that she tried to “save from child trafficking”
So her IG story was just her trying to talk with her Z-level celeb sister Aliana Lohan, because Aliana called her saying that she’s lost in a club. So I’m mindlessly watching these two, less than genius, girls talk about finding pr people and getting outside and I see a comment “damn girl, we can see her number!!”
So now I’m one of probably a hundred dozen lame internet neck beards blowing up Aliana’s phone, since her sister didn’t think things through.
And I feel lame doing it, and I don’t know what I’d even say if she picked up, but I’m bored and can’t help it.
Feel free to roast me, judge me, or ask me anything

 

[Zer]

Post the number bro. I wanna call dis bish too

 

[BisexualMMA]

I think you've just stumbled upon the only pick up technique with less efficacy than cat calling.

 

[ultimateriley-o]

Text her and ask what her favourite dinosaur is

Guarantee you’ll be covered in a variety of her bodily fluids by sun up

 

[Alphaboy]

Carry yourself with some dignity.

There will always be a gang of thirsty dudes doing actions like the one you described; you don't have to be one of them.

As a matter of fact, that message is to all or you Sherdoggers. Conduct yourselves like men of class!

 

[Tone C]

Text her and ask what her favourite dinosaur is

Guarantee you’ll be covered in a variety of her bodily fluids by sun up

Triceratops.

 

[JabToucher]

Didn't read.

But this thread has so much potential win!

 

[no fat chicks]

just pretend your a thirsty Indian YouTube commenter.

"remove clothe now, show bobs. I love your vegene. "

should make her yours in no time

 

[Kardashians]

Lmao coming from you, I’m not even surprised by this.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

So you watch some random wannabe celebrity hang out with a has been celebrity’s sister on some kind of live Instagram feed? Please never have children. If you already did, kill or sterilize the ones you had. Sterilize yourself and your female as well. She should have known better than to mate with you.

 

[Stranger Come Knocking]

Don't feel bad man! You finally got a girls number! This is cause for celebration!

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

Why is gravity so weak when compared with the other fundamental forces??

 

[LiLoMMA]

Post the number bro. I wanna call dis bish too

It’s probably against the rules or something. But it’s not against the rules to follow Lindsay on IG and check out her live recording where it’s clearly visible.
But it’s a waste of time. She is either not accepting incoming calls at this point, or talked to me all night long and said that no other sherdogger could possibly be worth talking to after the experience we shared. One of those is true

 

[LiLoMMA]

So you watch some random wannabe celebrity hang out with a has been celebrity’s sister on some kind of live Instagram feed? Please never have children. If you already did, kill or sterilize the ones you had. Sterilize yourself and your female as well. She should have known better than to mate with you.

 

[LiLoMMA]

Carry yourself with some dignity.

There will always be a gang of thirsty dudes doing actions like the one you described; you don't have to be one of them.

As a matter of fact, that message is to all or you Sherdoggers. Conduct yourselves like men of class!

It’s all about degrees of separation bro. Lindsay is my favorite celeb, and here I am texting her sister.
*Paris Hilton voice* That’s hot

 

[Fuzzybabyducks]

tell her you wanna drink wine than cuddle up and listen to arcade fire under the covers... that doesnt work send her a pic of the D... Still doesnt work just tell your friends shes a bitch and you were never interested anyways..

 

[ultimateriley-o]

Triceratops.

Pretty solid choice, but I’m not going to fuck you.

 

[Protectandserve]

Tell her you can get them some blow.

 

[Loiosh]

I think you've just stumbled upon the only pick up technique with less efficacy than cat calling.

I know a half dozen that are worse.

I can teach them at an expert level; if you get laid you get your money back.