GF Only Has Sex About Once/Month

[Thurisaz]

Normally I'd just say "go and tell her that if she doesn't want to have sex with you when you want to, you'll find someone who wants", but in your case I make an exception.

She's convinced we have sex enough. For me, it's not even close to enough. So, in this thread, I'm going to log every time once of us tries to initiate sex, and the results. Will be doing this for about 6 months or so.

I imagine after 6 months the numbers will be around a dozen times having sex (for the very rare week where we have sex multiple times), and maybe 3-4 blowjobs.

I mean, my sex drive is high enough that I'd do it multiple times/day, but I obviously wouldn't expect that of her. But once a month is not okay. I will not marry her if that's what I'm looking forward to.

Log begins now.

You're crashing and burning already. Just leave her, save some time for you both and heal your bitterness before starting a new relationship. No good can come out of what you're planning.

Both of you are interested only in "what's in it for me?" and you've already set yourself as her opponent. That's not a recipe for a successful relationship.

Game over, man. Game over.

 

[4daLuLZ]

Been together for about 2 and a half years. Talked about getting married, plan on moving in together in a few months.

Im starting to have doubts, though. We used to have very frequent sex in the beginning. Nearly every time we saw each other. Oral too. Couldn't ask for more.

Over the past year and a half or so, however, her sex drive has gone way down. We're limited to sex usually once a month or so. The sex is good. However, she almost never gives oral, and it's unacceptable to me, especially since she orgasms every time I give her oral (which I offer to every time we have sex).

I've tried things over and over to get her in the mood, but she'll only have sex when SHE wants to, never when I do. Most nights I spend with her, I end up just jacking off next to her. I originally started to do that to send a message, but I guess seeing me sexually frustrated and resorting to masturbation with her naked next to me doesn't make her feel bad.

Not that I want to make her feel bad, but I've grown desperate.

She's convinced we have sex enough. For me, it's not even close to enough. So, in this thread, I'm going to log every time once of us tries to initiate sex, and the results. Will be doing this for about 6 months or so.

I imagine after 6 months the numbers will be around a dozen times having sex (for the very rare week where we have sex multiple times), and maybe 3-4 blowjobs.

I mean, my sex drive is high enough that I'd do it multiple times/day, but I obviously wouldn't expect that of her. But once a month is not okay. I will not marry her if that's what I'm looking forward to.

Log begins now.

Is she on birth control pills ?
That has a common side effect of lowering her libido.

That and you getting fat.

 

[XxAfriCaNKinGxX]

your getting screwed over

 

[Werdun]

Never had this problem, and i really dont get it. All of the girls ive dated wanted atleast as much sex as i did and even when they didnt want i managed to get it. Actually its a turn on if your girlfriend doesnt want to have sex and you "force" her.

Also no, it is not rape.

 

[PCP319]

Maybe it was the birth control. Day 2, she also initiated, oral and regular.

 

[BisexualMMA]

Today I made a pass at PCP's girlfriend. Got rejected. Tugged it in the shower. Thought about the interrogation scene from Basic Instinct. Will try again later today and report back.

 

[Smashandgrab]

I'm going to make an alternate suggestion to the one I made earlier. I still thing you may need to be prepared to walk away but, before you do, try some different tactics. My suggestions:

1. Stop talking to her about sex. It hasn't improved things and it probably comes off whiny and needy to her

2. If there are things about your relationship that she repeatedly complains about, put some effort there. I realize you aren't married - and it seems like those situations are where this really helps - but it may still improve things. If she complains your bathroom is always dirty - clean it and say nothing. If she complains that you never take her anywhere new or fun - plan a date night and just tell her what time things are happening and what she needs to wear.

3. Touch her. Often. In non-sexually specific ways. I dated a lot, all the way up into my early 30s. I always had a lot of sex. I wasn't always the most considerate or attentive partner but I was always physical with the women I dated. I'm convinced it was directly responsible for how much ass I got. Put your hand on her low back in passing. Caress her thigh while watch tv. One thing I did a lot with women was if they were in the kitchen cooking, doing dishes, whatever, I would walk up behind her, brush the hair away for her neck, and gently kiss the side of her neck. I cannot tell you how many times this escalated things. But I didn't do it with an agenda, I did it because I was expressing affection for the person I loved. Physically express affection to her.

4. Cliche but be a man. Seems like lots of young dudes sit around all bloody day surfing the net or playing video games. Pretty hard for a woman to respect a couch potato. Get to the gym. Find a hobby. Get passionate about something. All these are sexy. As a bonus, if your relationship ultimately fails, you've already started the healing process.

 

[Papawash]

Birth control pills lower the horniness based from what my SO has shown. Don't push her though man, let her figure it out and give her ass grabs for the meantime

 

[Aegon Spengler]

No not sure why but only with men.

http://www.obgyn.net/pmspmdd/painful-intercourse

There are three main types of painful intercourse. Perhaps the least common is pain that occurs only after intercourse or orgasm. This can be due to uterine contractions from orgasm. Women with this problem may get relief by taking medications like ibuprofen before intercourse, which can block pain from uterine contractions.
​

When it first happened i thought maybe i was pregnant, because pregnant women get something called braxton hicks contractions after orgasm from heightened pregnancy hormones. I never heard or read about girls getting post sex uterine contractions otherwise. However my obgyn said its normal in women who have orgasm during sex.

​

Well I have to presume it also happens when toys are used, like Dildoes etc, penetrative doesn't just mean Penis

That really sucks that it hurts like that. I could see it not being worth it in that instance. (I mean three days of discomfort when you got shit to do? Fuck) How do you feel about it? Is the orgasm worth the pain afterwards?

 

[Dogstarman]

No, orgasms definitely aren't faked, trust me, I know the difference (ex used to fake often when I was far less experienced).

We're comfortable enough with each other to sniff out any fakes (she's faked once).

Talked to her many times, usually ends up in a fight. Not a BC issue.

Want breakup to be last resort, will postpone moving in, obviously. While I sincerely hope it doesn't happen, at least if we break up, I'm moderately decent-looking in two environments where I can easily get laid (college, hospital).

Tell her that you are thinking of leaving her because this is a huge issue for you. Tell her the truth.

 

[Sidecontrol87]

Cheat on her then,

 

[chickenlip]

I wouldn't even entertain the idea of staying with that girl let alone marry her. Not to be a dick, but are you sure shes only having sex once a month with you and not a lot with another guy?

 

[Banchan]

Well I have to presume it also happens when toys are used, like Dildoes etc, penetrative doesn't just mean Penis

That really sucks that it hurts like that. I could see it not being worth it in that instance. (I mean three days of discomfort when you got shit to do? Fuck) How do you feel about it? Is the orgasm worth the pain afterwards?

Ive never had that happen solo ever which is why it freaked me out.

It feels uncomfortable more than painful. You feel it pulsating inside you in sporadic sets throughout the day.

It feels like what this looks like. Imagine you can feel your heart vividly pumping inside you randomly for 30 seconds every half hour ~ hour then it returns to normal. It just feels weird only it would not be your heart but an organ in your pelvis spasming like this throughout the day.

Its only really bad the first day then the second its really very light and doesnt bother you that much until it fades away. You can feel it getting lighter and fewer between as the days progress. Just that first day you cant think about anything else when it starts happening.

Good and bad. It kind of awakens you to feeling things in your body that you didnt know before. Some women really like it. I remember reading about a woman who had a hysterectomy and how much she really missed uterine contractions during and after sex. It prolongs that feeling of your body tensing up during sex and orgasm but obviously youre not having an orgasm so if you have things to do it can be bothersome but on the other hand it reminds you how good the sex was for days after.

Maybe it was the birth control. Day 2, she also initiated, oral and regular.

Do you think she may have done so because you fought about it recently?

 

[Aegon Spengler]

Ive never had that happen solo ever which is why it freaked me out.

It feels uncomfortable more than painful. You feel it pulsating inside you in sporadic sets throughout the day.

It feels like what this looks like. Imagine you can feel your heart vividly pumping inside you randomly for 30 seconds every half hour ~ hour then it returns to normal. It just feels weird only it would not be your heart but an organ in your pelvis spasming like this throughout the day.

Its only really bad the first day then the second its really very light and doesnt bother you that much until it fades away. You can feel it getting lighter and fewer between as the days progress. Just that first day you cant think about anything else when it starts happening.

Good and bad. It kind of awakens you to feeling things in your body that you didnt know before. Some women really like it. I remember reading about a woman who had a hysterectomy and how much she really missed uterine contractions during and after sex. It prolongs that feeling of your body tensing up during sex and orgasm but obviously youre not having an orgasm so if you have things to do it can be bothersome but on the other hand it reminds you how good the sex was for days after.

This is fascinating. So on a relaxing, booze infused beach vacation these contractions are more convienent than they would be during the work week,(since there's nothing to do but relax and enjoy while on vacation)

Do you know of a way to trigger or avoid producing this feeling in a woman during penetrative sex? Like do you think gentle sex might be better when trying to avoiding triggering days of uterine contractions? Of course some women can only orgasm during a certain kind of sex (or some men are only good at certain way of doing it) but leaving that aside...

 

[PCP319]

Possible, but I don't think she's doing it because we fought. But keeping track just in case.

 

[TheNinja]

So basically the honeymoon period is over and it's a normal relationship then? Welcome to the club buddy.

 

[PCP319]

So basically the honeymoon period is over and it's a normal relationship then? Welcome to the club buddy.

I don't think once per month is normal in your prime before marriage and kids.

Going to her place tonight. Will see if I can make it three nights in a row.

 

[fatalis]

You're getting cucked

Make sure you get your iPad fam

 

[Kframe]

I don't think once per month is normal in your prime before marriage and kids.

Going to her place tonight. Will see if I can make it three nights in a row.

She knows you are thinking of leaving. That is why she is giving extra sex. The moment you relent, and act like you wont leave it will end and you will be miserable again. Why are you taking the chance? Get the hell out and find a real woman who isn't a liar.

 

[PCP319]

She knows you are thinking of leaving. That is why she is giving extra sex. The moment you relent, and act like you wont leave it will end and you will be miserable again. Why are you taking the chance? Get the hell out and find a real woman who isn't a liar.

That might happen. I'll have to see. I take the chance because I love her and would highly prefer not to end it.