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TLDR: Met my first 2 "enbys". Employee corrects us for using wrong pronouns. I then encountered another non-binary the next day.
We took the kiddos to the mall yesterday at Build-a-Bear®, they have this great special where the bears are super cheap on your birth month. In any case, when I arrived the employee's back was facing me as they were assisting some customers. I saw long pink hair that went to all the way to their back (I couldn't find a more accurate picture), I would have assumed it was a lady but the legs were very hairy. I know some women like lesbians and feminists like to grow their body hair to make a statement so I was still a bit confused.
When the employee turned around, it turned out the person was a biological male. When we were finally being helped, my wife used the pronouns "him," like "give him the bear now." Oddly enough, I wanted to ask the employee their pronouns. It's not something I've ever done before, maybe it was the nail polish, but something... something told me this person may not like being called "he". Ya know? Ya know.
My wife said it again "give him the bear." I wanted to ask her: "Did you ask their pronouns?" But 1) That's so not something I'd say and would've felt so fuckin' weird, Lol. 2) If you said that about the average person (someone non-binary), they'd probably look at you weird or possibly even get offended.
After a few seconds, the employee said
"And just by the way, I go by they/them," in an assertive, but not rude manner.
"No problem," my wife said after a slight awkward silence of processing.
It wasn't until afterwards I noticed their tag had their name and pronouns at the bottom of it. This seems to be becoming standard issue at many jobs.
We paid for the items, I may have even said "give them the teddy bear" to my kid at some point, but that was that.
I planned on posting this, then I had another encounter a few hours ago.
I went to a library to drop off some flyers. At the reference desk was an employee (female-born, I'm being P.C.). Our interaction was short. I spoke to the employee about something, they were polite, then I left. However, I saw the employee was sporting a lanyard with "THEY/THEM" printed prominently on it.
Isn't it odd how once you see something once you begin seeing it everywhere all of a sudden?
Prior to these two encounters, I've only really seen it on social media and e-mail bios.
Now my opinion: I actually applaud the idea of having the pronouns displayed somewhere... if it is not readily apparent that is, I don't need to see a manly lumberjack with he/him on a name-tag. This allows people to know your pronouns without falsely assuming and getting upset. 99% of the time someone looks like a man they go by male pronouns and 99% of the time someone looks like a woman they go by female pronouns.
I'll also keep it real. I don't believe in all of these pronoun things or trying to normalize defining your pronouns for the reasons I listed above. I also don't really believe in the whole non-binary thing, however it costed me nothing to adhere to someone's prefer gender. I always thought "No way in hell am I calling a singular person a plural pronoun" and of course I could have an interaction without using any pronouns at all. However, there is no need to upset someone, hurt their feelings, or potentially start a fight. You want to go by a fake or preferred name, I'd do that. Wanna go by the opposite gender, I'll do that too. No big deal!
