mental blocks/hurdles that keep you from advancing

[machomang]

In bjj, we talk a lot about technique and how to counter A with this or if they do B, then go for this.

Something that I'm starting to think more about, especially since I'm a 3 year blue that is trying to get out of this blue-belt plateau, is the mentality you have when it comes to training.

This is a question mostly for higher belts, did you have to overcome any mental blocks? If so, what were they and how did you do it? When you were a lower rank, did the color of the belt intimidate you and change how you roll? If you're a purple and are rolling with a brown or black, does it phase you at all or do you see them as your peers?

I notice I'll hesitate with certain guys at the gym because of past experiences, like if they're a good wrestler, I'll hesitate to go for something thinking that they'll counter it too easily or not pulling the trigger on a certain pass because I feel like the black belt is baiting me into something. Or even conceding to a pass that maybe I could have fought off a little harder.

I notice when I am rolling with a higher belt and if I do start advancing more than they are comfortable with, they are fighting tooth and nail not to let me get to the next position, where as if they were to do that to me, I kind of let them have it (subconsciously/maybe even a little consciously) thinking "there's no point in hanging on to this pant grip..."

 

[berimBOWLoh]

Worrying about winning or losing rolls is the big hurdle for most people. Neither is possible except in your head. Once I let go of it my game grew a lot faster because I wasn’t scared to try things and I was a lot looser

There are times to fight tooth and nail and times to abandon ship and focus on not allowing things to get worse. Experience will teach you that

 

[asian-glow]

After a while I got tired of living in my head. I had a "flow roll" phase from white to blue belt that I think held back a lot of potential growth. I would let people have things (or so I would tell myself) and I wasn't being very honest about what I was good at and what I was not good at. It's difficult to extract concrete feedback from rolls that you explain away as "I wasn't trying hard enough" or "I let him have it". At some point I just had to know.

I think I just didn't want to confront my weaknesses. Taking my rolls at face value, for the results rather than my intentions or emotions, often meant my jiu jitsu was not good. Giving a genuine if not my best effort at anything in jiu jitsu is what allowed me to be honest about my results, which in turn yielded better feedback to use for the future. It starts with being honest though. A pass is a pass. A sweep is a sweep. A tap is a tap.

Right now, I have the reverse problem where sometimes I run into people who I don't think should be as good as me beat me up. It hurts my ego to admit that someone of a lower rank is better than me but I have to be honest about where they catch me and try to learn from it.

 

[machomang]

After a while I got tired of living in my head. I had a "flow roll" phase from white to blue belt that I think held back a lot of potential growth. I would let people have things (or so I would tell myself) and I wasn't being very honest about what I was good at and what I was not good at. It's difficult to extract concrete feedback from rolls that you explain away as "I wasn't trying hard enough" or "I let him have it". At some point I just had to know.

I think I just didn't want to confront my weaknesses. Taking my rolls at face value, for the results rather than my intentions or emotions, often meant my jiu jitsu was not good. Giving a genuine if not my best effort at anything in jiu jitsu is what allowed me to be honest about my results, which in turn yielded better feedback to use for the future. It starts with being honest though. A pass is a pass. A sweep is a sweep. A tap is a tap.

Right now, I have the reverse problem where sometimes I run into people who I don't think should be as good as me beat me up. It hurts my ego to admit that someone of a lower rank is better than me but I have to be honest about where they catch me and try to learn from it.

I fell/fall into that self lie as well. I don't go 100% many times because when I used to, I would come home feeling too sore and would get many injuries.

Firas Zahabi says his first few rolls at the gym are just relaxed and flowy, then he turns it up towards the end after he's warmed up to balance out flow rolling and then giving it his all. I still take things at a medium pace, I'm older and do want to train when I'm a senior citizen.

 

[freakroor]

the biggest mental block for most is learning to be aggressive, to be ok with putting your training partners in extremely uncomfortable positions, and never to concede a position or grip to an opponent unless you have to.

Also some people just get stuck in a rut and have trouble finding inspiration or motivation to improve beyond where they feel comfortable.

 

[beat...people...up?]

I subconsciously give up when I'm fighting some higher belts, too. Partly it's because, if anything, I started out too aggressive and spazzy, so I don't want the upper belts to think I haven't learned and grown. But sometimes it's just like "Obviously this brown belt knows how to shut down literally anything I attempt so why bother." Or even "I feel like they're testing me waiting for me to give the correct response but WHAT IS IT?????!" and I get stuck.

 

[mataleaos]

Not being assertive/confident enough

the biggest mental block for most is learning to be aggressive, to be ok with putting your training partners in extremely uncomfortable positions, and never to concede a position or grip to an opponent unless you have to.

Also some people just get stuck in a rut and have trouble finding inspiration or motivation to improve beyond where they feel comfortable.

Yep. Specifically certain moves seem hard for people. For me I know dropping my head underneath someone's jaw on certain passes (like knee slices for example) to help prevent them from curling in (keeping their upper body separated from their lower body) was a difficult skill for me to feel comfortable with. Someone (I forgot who) told me, "It's not being a prick. It's being proper."

 

[ijustwannasurf]

I stopped thinking I would improve just by showing up. Being intentional in your training is key.

 

[rmongler]

On a broader level, i think one of the most common pitfalls in how people approach their development as a whole is, 'theres no point in learning to do [X], because there have been people who have been doing [X] for [Y] so many years, so i'll never 'catch up' '.

Rather, the fact that seemingly so many people are so successful doing it for so long is proof in itself that you can benefit more from doing it too.

Further, that the significant part of performance is the maintenance of performance; someone who has done two years of [X] in preparation for a fight will beat someone who has done ten years of [X] but hardly any in the last five years in preparation for a fight, at doing [X].


A related trap is 'the best guy in the world does [X], and i'll never beat him, so i should do something else besides [X]'.

Alternately, 'the best guy in the world does [X], so if i want to beat him, i have to do something besides [X]'.

Rather, you're probably not going to beat someone so far above your level regardless of what you do, so dedicating to a marginal strategy would just be sabotaging yourself overall; whereas using more reliable methods will help raise your level higher than it might otherwise (and if you are on that level, then you become that best guy around).

Call it 'the hipster block' if you will.

 

[winterbike]

the biggest mental block for most is learning to be aggressive, to be ok with putting your training partners in extremely uncomfortable positions, and never to concede a position or grip to an opponent unless you have to.

I just got to brown belt and that's still an issue for me. I don't mind putting pressure on people (let me pass and I'll stop smashing you, duh), but those guillotines man... just can't do them. Or want to even. I hate getting caught in them, hate putting other people there.

 

[Forceof1]

I don't really have any blocks anymore, except when I'm trying to submit people who are being 100% defensive. It's usually blue belts, and as a brown, I feel like I should be submitting them more easily. Then I have to recognize these are fairly competent blue's who's only goal is to not get tapped, and don't care that they would have been outscored 85-0. Then I yell at them to try to escape bad positions, and that getting tapped in the process is no big deal. Then I remind myself that tapping them is no big deal either, and I move on.

What helped me is that my expectations meet my reality and goals of training. I'm a hobbyist. Turning 40. I train 1-3 times per week. I will not be a world champ. I train for fun, and I use a jack of all trades / master of none approach because it makes life more interesting to me.