Never drinking again (sober brahs gtfih)

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DoCtOrWhO

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So yesterday I went day drinking and completely fucked my life up or made it better.

#1. Went to a bar, bartender kept sneezing and I said "holy fuck take a reactine". He says oh man I wish. Just so happens of all times I have a bottle of ephedrine in my coat pocket (took some before cardio). I gave this guy 2 ephedrine and told him it was reactine. Finished my drink and left. This guy either will love me or hate me.

#2. I bus to other side of the city. Start talking shit to a guy who is wearing a rival gym t shirt. Why I did this? Idk. It's like 3pm at this time. Possibly escaped an ass kicking.

#3. Girl I dumped on the weekend texted me some insulting things about my mother. I Facebook messaged her boss and told her how this girl and another who just quit are starting a rival business behind her back. I then screenshot and sent them to my ex. She should have an interesting day at work. Lol.

#4. Bus back to my shit side of city. Went to a liquor store and bought 2 bottles of red wine. Drank those and went on plenty of fish. Had some success of #s. One went off the rails saying her ex in jail for beating her and my response was "you probably deserved it then". This made her rant 45 minutes straight with a few death threats. Lol.

#5. I got a # from a fatty that looked like a good fuck. Prob secret slut. Things went well but around 3am I texted her "wanna fuck?". So I destroyed that.

Good news I didn't eat at all yesterday and lost 13lbs.

I need to stop drinking.
 
cool story, you seem a legit nice guy. i must apologize tho cause im gonna be late to the meeting
 
I woke up still hammered and I have a half bottle of wine left. Bottoms up.
 
Lol bartenders aren't going to take pills given to them by random drunks, don't worry
 
Jesus dude <{1-17}>


But literally none of this happened
 
I say that every morning after a night of hard drinking


Youll be back in a week
 
superpunch said:
Lol bartenders aren't going to take pills given to them by random drunks, don't worry
Click to expand...
That was my first drink. I watched him swallow both pills. About 15 minutes later i could see his eyes opening wider. He had to be all of 20.
 
post pics of ex
 
You dosed someone and acted like a cunt for the remainder of the day....hardly your magnum opus.
 
Pied Piper said:
I say that every morning after a night of hard drinking


Youll be back in a week
Click to expand...

I remember the days of going to work hungover vowing never to drink again but hitting the bars right after work. Seems like the younger I was the shorter my memory was.
 
I hate hangovers. So glad I quit. I haven't been drunk since 2010. I have a sip every now and then but that's it.
 
Your ex is starting up a business and you're catching the bus shitfaced at 3pm. Looks like she made the right choice.
 
You sound like a total loser op the fact that you had to sneak in "(took some before cardio)" and "rival gym". Who tf do you think you are??

Also you were most likely screenshotted by those POF girls and put on reddit
 
DoCtOrWhO said:
I woke up still hammered and I have a half bottle of wine left. Bottoms up.
Click to expand...
Haha, thread title is Never drinking again. 3 posts in, realizes he has half a bottle of wine and starts drinking again
 
DoCtOrWhO said:
So yesterday I went day drinking and completely fucked my life up or made it better.

#1. Went to a bar, bartender kept sneezing and I said "holy fuck take a reactine". He says oh man I wish. Just so happens of all times I have a bottle of ephedrine in my coat pocket (took some before cardio). I gave this guy 2 ephedrine and told him it was reactine. Finished my drink and left. This guy either will love me or hate me.

#2. I bus to other side of the city. Start talking shit to a guy who is wearing a rival gym t shirt. Why I did this? Idk. It's like 3pm at this time. Possibly escaped an ass kicking.

#3. Girl I dumped on the weekend texted me some insulting things about my mother. I Facebook messaged her boss and told her how this girl and another who just quit are starting a rival business behind her back. I then screenshot and sent them to my ex. She should have an interesting day at work. Lol.

#4. Bus back to my shit side of city. Went to a liquor store and bought 2 bottles of red wine. Drank those and went on plenty of fish. Had some success of #s. One went off the rails saying her ex in jail for beating her and my response was "you probably deserved it then". This made her rant 45 minutes straight with a few death threats. Lol.

#5. I got a # from a fatty that looked like a good fuck. Prob secret slut. Things went well but around 3am I texted her "wanna fuck?". So I destroyed that.

Good news I didn't eat at all yesterday and lost 13lbs.

I need to stop drinking.
Click to expand...

That's a boring Monday for me...you need to drink more if anything
 
I'm being selfish here, but if you need to drink heavy to produce these gems on Sherdog, keep at it. I look forward to reading more of your writing. By the way, if you haven't read any of Charles Bukowski's novels, you should.

EDIT: No...I changed my mind....stop fucking up your body and mind with alcohol before you do permanent damage. But you are a good storyteller...
 
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