Premier League Thread 2017/18 v76: King Rafa Owns Maureen. Return of the Squawka Stats Edition.

[Chules]

I went to a residential centre a few years ago

I was fat as fuck

was scared I'd kill the person below if the bed collapsed lol

so i demanded the bottom one

'it's for your own safety'

lool

 

[frenz]

Wish the one I stayed in looked like that. It was 3 bunks high in about the same space and there was a couple having sex in the bunk below me while another guy stared at their belongings like he was thinking about running of with them.

I took the top bunk. Slept on the bottom bunk at cub scout camp as a boy and woke up to trickles of urine from the top bunk. Never again.

my friend was asleep when i puked all over the bottom bunk girl. she was still pissed and confused when she woke up to loads of girls screaming lmaooooo she thought she had pissed herself and it had seeped through onto the girl below her.

we're classy

 

[Sexy]

my friend was asleep when i puked all over the bottom bunk girl. she was still pissed and confused when she woke up to loads of girls screaming lmaooooo she thought she had pissed herself and it had seeped through onto the girl below her.

we're classy

marry me

 

[Gazwald]

I knew a dude who used to send valentines cards to himself and pretend they were from women to look alpha (we were around 17). We all took acid and ended up having to calm him down once we leveled out. He was proper freaking out like "I don't know who any of these women are! How the fuck do they know me?!"

Was pretty damn funny. No valentines day stories involving me tho. Nowt exciting's ever happened to me on valentines day.

 

[Chules]

marry me

oiii

she's mine

 

[Twelve75]

scene: this morning, the office
me: bring in a dozen donuts for office mates, bc its valentines day. only person who says thank you is the work wife.

feelsbadman

leave it at the donut sharing, no cutting up bodies and shit.

 

[Chules]

gonna wear a tight as fuck t-shirt tomorrow

why fucking not

show off my hard work

 

[Nowhere Fast]

I went to a residential centre a few years ago

I was fat as fuck

was scared I'd kill the person below if the bed collapsed lol

so i demanded the bottom one

'it's for your own safety'

lool

legit lol'd at this. It would have been an epic way to die, imo.

 

[Chules]

muscle man @Rawex

 

[Gazwald]

my friend was asleep when i puked all over the bottom bunk girl. she was still pissed and confused when she woke up to loads of girls screaming lmaooooo she thought she had pissed herself and it had seeped through onto the girl below her.

we're classy

I always had you down as a bottom bunk girl.



Happy valentines day btw.

 

[Chules]

legit lol'd at this. It would have been an epic way to die, imo.

hahaaa

I must've been about 280lbs then

 

[wang xiangzhai]

I went to a residential centre a few years ago

I was fat as fuck

was scared I'd kill the person below if the bed collapsed lol

so i demanded the bottom one

'it's for your own safety'

lool

I shouldn't laugh but lol, story of the day or nah?

 

[Chules]

I shouldn't laugh but lol, story of the day or nah?

we still have another 6.5 hours left of the day here

I might have a mood crash and give you another story

so I can't say for certain, you might get another story

 

[blokeybloke]

 

[xtramob]

 

[Twelve75]

my friend was asleep when i puked all over the bottom bunk girl. she was still pissed and confused when she woke up to loads of girls screaming lmaooooo she thought she had pissed herself and it had seeped through onto the girl below her.

we're classy

if you say you've pissed outside on the way home from the pub....its yours, and we'll out do that ginger twat and his murican bride on cup final day......

 

[Chules]

Arsenal have a Wenger exit strategy if they do not qualify for CL. Club hierarchy are worried failure to qualify will have a negative impact on new kit deal. Adidas and Nike both have a firm interest but are reluctant to put in huge money amid the ongoing concern over CL qualification.

 

[Chules]

if you say you've pissed outside on the way home from the pub....its yours, and we'll out do that ginger twat and his murican bride on cup final day......

i think she'd rather have the hula hoop ring from me

 

[Nowhere Fast]

Arsenal have a Wenger exit strategy if they do not qualify for CL. Club hierarchy are worried failure to qualify will have a negative impact on new kit deal. Adidas and Nike both have a firm interest but are reluctant to put in huge money amid the ongoing concern over CL qualification.

potentially missing out on the CL moneh again and suddenly the board are Wenker Out! Classic lol.

 

[Twelve75]

i think she'd rather have the hula hoop ring from me

a guy who doesn't know what team he's on ?....and I don't mean getting caught blowin' some big black guy for a free £4 SUBWAY sandwich........#COYS