Regarding a pet sitter, is this passive aggressive?

[davidlemonparty]

I'm trying to live my life as follows

You will never regret being honest and open about how you feel. It mightve awkward sometimes, and it might cause some conflict occasionally, but you will never reflect on your choices and feel bad long term, nor make a social mistake that is irrecoverable, if you just live by this simple rule.
Act with integrity, be honest about your feelings, and don't delay in communicating

 

[Bobby00]

Dont confront her just get a new sitter. If she cant do it right the first time she should not get a second chance. Easiest job ever and she failed? She is not wiring a house her job was literally to come over do something for 1 minute and then chill out like a true slob would.

 

[VulcanNervPinch]

Leaving written instructions is an insult, imho.

That's one of the weirdest takes I've ever heard

 

[Kryptt]

"Sorry, but we went with another sitter."

No explanation, cut and dry. She obviously doesn't have the proper qualities to be doing that type of work. She isn't looking at them as beloved family members and investing in their well being.

 

[Volador]

Is the pet sitter hot? Leave some water bottles around, set up cameras in the bathroom ----> Profit.

 

[Gutter Chris]

Lol yeah not every cat will let you put them on a leash. And some of them absolutely freak out in the car. When I moved to Nevada my cat sat in the passenger seat howling for over a thousand miles.

You ever see jurassic park 3 .....can you think of the noise the raptors make when Allen Grant says he's calling for help ? My pit beast will make that noise in the car for the first half hour or so then he hides in the back seat under his blanket til the car stops moving. Don't know why he freaks out like that I thought all dogs love the car. Ah I feel ya on having a screaming animal in the car.

To be on topic , no its not unreasonable to expect/ask whoever you put in charge of your pets to do things the way they need to be done. If you are paying them that's the job and if it's a friend or family member you'd do the same for them.

 

[LHWBelt]

What’s up sherbros.

My wife and I often go traveling and get a pet sitter while we’re out of town. It can be tough to find reliable pet sitters, and we have an elderly cat who really needs someone to come for meds and food 2x and a day. We have ring doorbells (they have cameras that let you watch video on your phone), and last time we were out of town we noticed our pet sitter was basically coming, giving food and leaving. She would stay maybe 2-3 minutes. The issue is part of her service we paid for is a 45 minute stay with time spent with the cat. We noticed when we got home she had tried to turn on the television, because it had been changed to settings we don’t use.

Now, we don’t particularly care about the tv because honestly if she wants to kick it, watch some tv, and hang out with the cat, that’s fine with me. That’s kind of what we were hoping for. I’m thinking of leaving instructions to use the tv, and some water/snacks out so she can hang out, make herself comfortable, and properly spend time with our cat.

Here’s the question. Because we never confronted her about either the leaving early, or the tv, is it passive aggressive or weird for me to leave out the instructions and snacks? I feel like it will solve the situation but my wife is wondering if this is kind of a shitty thing to do, or if it feels like “we’re watching you” etc. What would you do?

You should get what you pay for. It's a cat though their pretty self sufficient and I personally leave my cats all the time just have someone feed em and do the litter box. If they wana stay cool if not that's cool too but your paying for a service so you should get what you agreed upon.

 

[fungi]

That's one of the weirdest takes I've ever heard

Are one of those zoomers, who forgot how to communicate in person with living breathing humans?

It's much more polite to communicate verbally, than to leave written instructions as a hint. TS himself was wondering if it were passive aggressive. It was. It is. A bordeline insult.

 

[djacobox372]

Yep, you're passive aggressive AF. Either tell them the real problem, or let it go. Firing them without a reason, or leaving weird notes is weak.

 

[fungi]

Being offended by written communication is so bizarre.

You write things down so it's clear and can't be forgotten, unlike verbal communication. It's a thoughtful courtesy. And it documents what's been discussed, in case of problems/disputes.

It reminds me of this scene.


Guy doesn't know a word, so he gets offended by it.
When someone claims instructions are offensive, I start picturing someone incapable or too lazy to read, so it makes them mad. Like the person leaving it is flaunting their literacy or something.

Dragon noticed she had used their TV.
They hadn't discussed TV use beforehand.

Now if he leaves a written instruction for her, it'll look passive aggressive. Like he noticed that she had done something wrong with the TV set, and NOW he was giving her "instructions".

Had he offered her written instructions from the start with a comment like: "Feel free to use the tele. Here are some instructions...", it would have been polite and helpful.

FFS, one has a tongue to talk, to communicate.

 

[method115]

I agree with the get a new sitter advice and this time make it very clear to the next person on what the rules are. What you are asking for is not unreasonable in the slightest.

This I would find a new sitter if possible. At the very least just confront this person. I wouldn't give a shit about "we are watching you vibes". It's your house. I wouldn't be shocked to know you were watching me while pet sitting and I would behave that way whether I knew you were or not.

 

[THE Red Beard]

I didn't read any of the responses, so if this has already been mentioned, forgive me. Next time, get a cat outfit and tell her that you have a new cat (it's you if you didn't pick that up), and beat the fucking shit out of her. She will report the cat, but BOOM, you don't have a cat like that. Everyone wins except the sitter. She sounds spry if she is doing all that stuff in 3 minutes, so I'd immediately shoot a double and try to get fence control if you have a fence. If not, put one up in the house. Then grind her down to a three round decision. She will ask for a rematch, but you have no obligation to give her one.

 

[M4rk]

Just do this on a speaker

Plus i didn't realise @lsa was so old. Take your pills buddy.

 

[lsa]

Just do this on a speaker

Plus i didn't realise @lsa was so old. Take your pills buddy.

thats just rude

 

[RoastBeast]

Confronting about not staying long enough is justifiable but confronting about TV usage is weird. I wouldn't expect the person to just sit there and stare at the wall for 45 minutes.

Better than a coworker of mine who hired a girl to dog watch and then noticed that she brought a dude over to his house lol. Probably desecrated every horizontal surface in that place.

 

[StonedLemur]

What’s up sherbros.

My wife and I often go traveling and get a pet sitter while we’re out of town. It can be tough to find reliable pet sitters, and we have an elderly cat who really needs someone to come for meds and food 2x and a day. We have ring doorbells (they have cameras that let you watch video on your phone), and last time we were out of town we noticed our pet sitter was basically coming, giving food and leaving. She would stay maybe 2-3 minutes. The issue is part of her service we paid for is a 45 minute stay with time spent with the cat. We noticed when we got home she had tried to turn on the television, because it had been changed to settings we don’t use.

Now, we don’t particularly care about the tv because honestly if she wants to kick it, watch some tv, and hang out with the cat, that’s fine with me. That’s kind of what we were hoping for. I’m thinking of leaving instructions to use the tv, and some water/snacks out so she can hang out, make herself comfortable, and properly spend time with our cat.

Here’s the question. Because we never confronted her about either the leaving early, or the tv, is it passive aggressive or weird for me to leave out the instructions and snacks? I feel like it will solve the situation but my wife is wondering if this is kind of a shitty thing to do, or if it feels like “we’re watching you” etc. What would you do?

I think thats a fair way to handle it, and they should know that you're watching them so they'll fuckin behave.