Sherbros I need your advice...

[flequin]

I almost never reply to personal posts but this one got me...
1) never EVER wish you were one of your friends that died in a freak accident
2) no idea what's really wrong with your mom and if can be fixed but cherish every moment you have with her as if each will be the last. Make sure she's comfortable
3) don't worry about what people think... work hard, set goals and make a plan. There's no point on dwelling on the past - live in the now and the near future. If you're thinking too far ahead (like time when you're alone and your mom is gone), it will just eat you alive right now and you'll live with unbearable anxiety.
4) focus on what you can control and let go of the things you can't
5) just me... but it doesn't sound like you guys have healthy air to breath - is that possibly to remedey?
6) never feel like you can't escape because you CAN and YOU WILL - life will get better, it always works out and showing some daily kindness always comes back to you
7) stay strong

Thank you for your tips. But you don't quite understand my situation.
My unstable health (lower-back pain/eyesight/foot pain/headaches) prevents me from working on 2 jobs simultaneously. For example I worked at gas station and started limping after 1week and wasn't able to continue. Plus it's better to be around her just in case... I don't want a repeat of that recent incident cuz I don't have anyone else who'd care about her and calling an ambulance as soon as it possible. So I'm working online and on some temporary jobs. But it's only enough to pay rent/bills and nowhere close to the required amount for my mom's surgeries which is Prosthetic heart valves (Mitral and aortic) + coronary artery bypass grafting (CABG) I'm stuck in this situation and don't know what to do next. You're saying "life will get better, it always works out" I don't know about that man cuz there's no any prerequisites to improving and getting out of this situation.

 

[Wetarmpits]

Sometimes you just have to take a deep look in the mirror and accept the facts of your situation and capabilities.
I have no solution for your situation but there's one thing present in all your posts.
You are excusing yourself saying this and that is not possible. It might be that way but believe me, there won't be some angel coming and safe you and/ or your mother and neglecting everything won't change a damn thing about your present state.
You have only this one life, treat it carefully!

Best of luck and well-being for you and your mother.

 

[Fedorgasm]

Is this guy not setting off your bullshit meters?

The first thread got deleted because he asked us to help him skirt the rules to help him set up a GoFundMe account.

Now he's back with more sob stories but he knows he has to be subtle about begging for money, lest his thread gets deleted again.

This is how scammers work. He's probably looking to set up private conversations where he'll ask you for money where the mods won't see it.

 

[owen_taggart]

Is this guy not setting off your bullshit meters?

The first thread got deleted because he asked us to help him skirt the rules to help him set up a GoFundMe account.

Now he's back with more sob stories but he knows he has to be subtle about begging for money, lest his thread gets deleted again.

This is how scammers work. He's probably looking to set up private conversations where he'll ask you for money where the mods won't see it.

jesus christ, that guy! I remember him!

 

[SalvadorAllende]

I'm thinking about getting big enough loan and betting that money on some mma fights to tryna double that money.

Please do not do it. That sounds like something you will regret later.

Because there's no way I'll be able to pay 200-300$ monthly for 3-4years.

How do you know that? Cut expenses (I'm sure they are already low but there is always something else to do) and try to find a better job. Do not plan on working 2 jobs.. try to build a career somewhere where you can go up. It seems like you are already limiting yourself. You are just 32.

To be honest I'm forcing myself to do some basic stuff like eat once a day/brush my teeth because I'm feeling very depressed from not being able to get out of this situation

Been there. I would recommend to eat more than once a day, sleep at least 8 hours and try to do some exercise... at least some minutes at your home. Do not neglect biology.

BTW. Where do you live man?

 

[SalvadorAllende]

Is this guy not setting off your bullshit meters?

The first thread got deleted because he asked us to help him skirt the rules to help him set up a GoFundMe account.

Now he's back with more sob stories but he knows he has to be subtle about begging for money, lest his thread gets deleted again.

This is how scammers work. He's probably looking to set up private conversations where he'll ask you for money where the mods won't see it.

You are our local Coffezilla.

 

[Wetarmpits]

Is this guy not setting off your bullshit meters?

The first thread got deleted because he asked us to help him skirt the rules to help him set up a GoFundMe account.

Now he's back with more sob stories but he knows he has to be subtle about begging for money, lest his thread gets deleted again.

This is how scammers work. He's probably looking to set up private conversations where he'll ask you for money where the mods won't see it.

Please have some decency, his mother is dying, looking at him without breathing and empty eyes while he just returned from work at the pit stop with a broken back and crooked feet.

You, Sir, are a monster!

 

[owen_taggart]

Coffezilla.

 

[flequin]

Is this guy not setting off your bullshit meters?

The first thread got deleted because he asked us to help him skirt the rules to help him set up a GoFundMe account.

Now he's back with more sob stories but he knows he has to be subtle about begging for money, lest his thread gets deleted again.

This is how scammers work. He's probably looking to set up private conversations where he'll ask you for money where the mods won't see it.

You can think whatever you want.. It's your right. I won't even try to convince you otherwise but I'll reply to some of your paragraphs. Yes my previous thread got deleted because I was looking for that person who'd help me to setup gfm. Because my country is not on that list of 19 countries they support. And I guess even mentioning it against the rules. I wasn't begging for money even I really needed. It's not more sob stories (it's a same story) with more details just because I'm replying to people and obviously explaining my story more.. Is that make sense? I'm not looking to set up anything like you're saying. I didn't ask anyone for money in DMs unless reaching out person expressed himself a desire to help. In fact there's lot of people reached out to me first (including few moderators) who supported me (not financially like you're thinking) but emotinally and with their advices. I hope you won't be needing that type of support in your life anytime soon and everything with your close ones will be alright. Talking to people online and having some feedback helps me to feel alive and relieve a little bit of this constant pressure and distracting myself from being anxious and depressed all the time.

 

[flequin]

Please do not do it. That sounds like something you will regret later.


How do you know that? Cut expenses (I'm sure they are already low but there is always something else to do) and try to find a better job. Do not plan on working 2 jobs.. try to build a career somewhere where you can go up. It seems like you are already limiting yourself. You are just 32.


Been there. I would recommend to eat more than once a day, sleep at least 8 hours and try to do some exercise... at least some minutes at your home. Do not neglect biology.

BTW. Where do you live man?

I live in Kazakhstan (not even in of the main cities but small city with 150k population) I can't force myself to eat more.. (and I don't really have much) I'm actually don't really care about food right now.. I'm eating when I'm like really starving thats it. And yeah I wish I'd be able to sleep 7-8hrs but I'm used to to waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to sleep again. So it's usually 3-5hrs for the last few weeks. I'm trying to do exercises daily knowing it helps to deal with anxiety a little bit even It's really hard to focus on that cuz all my thoughts about my current situation. You're asking how do u know how much u have to pay monthly for loan. Because when you're trying to take loan in those bank apps it shows how much you'll have to pay monthly and for how many years etc. I'm constantly trying to find something.. But variety of jobs is pretty limited out here and salaries is really low especially if you don't have a specific skills. But like I said I'm working online and on some temporary jobs from time to time. If I didn't have to pay rent/bills. I would already take big enough loan to cover my mom's surgery. I've been working and had a stable job when I've worked in that nearby big city (there's way more options of different jobs comparing to my city) but when I found out that about my mom's current health condition and when she had a heart attack I had to comeback here to be always around her.. You're saying try to build a career somewhere where you can go up.. Yea it's sounds good on paper but in reality I have pretty limited amount of time to solve these issues otherwise I won't care one bit about building a career or something like that. Thank you for your recommendations anywas.

 

[Dogshare]

I'm thinking about getting a big loan and betting on mma fights tryna double that money...

Taking a big loan to gamble with sounds like a perfect strategy.

I hope this is trolling.

 

[flequin]

Taking a big loan to gamble with sounds like a perfect strategy.

I hope this is trolling.

I'm not trolling. I know it's a really bad idea on paper and can be catastrophic If I'll lose. But right now I don't really have any other choices how to get out of this pit. But at the same time it might work out and I'll be able not only cover my mom's surgery but also to pay off those loans immediately so I don't have to pay extra (overpayment) comparing to situation when I'll have to pay 200-300$ monthly for 3-4years. Especially considering I'm already paying rent and bills and buying some neccesary stuff to home. I know for a fact I won't be able to pay those 200-300bucks monthly and thats the only reason why I wanna double that money. I'm not thinking about getting rich and all that. I'm thinking about only how to solve this shitty situation and get back to normal life. I just wanna live like a normal person w/o stressing out 24/7 that's it..

 

[Trabaho]

Is this guy not setting off your bullshit meters?

The first thread got deleted because he asked us to help him skirt the rules to help him set up a GoFundMe account.

Now he's back with more sob stories but he knows he has to be subtle about begging for money, lest his thread gets deleted again.

This is how scammers work. He's probably looking to set up private conversations where he'll ask you for money where the mods won't see it.

100% set it off

He posted his picture


Also his whole family doesn't wanna get involved

And then the I got noone to talk to irl

Usually people don't wanna make thesmelves weak and small online and post their and their moms picture

Also said he isn't asking for money but it all resolves around that his problems would be solved if people sent him money that he can't earn himself


It's kinda obvious

 

[Dogshare]

I'm not trolling. I know it's a really bad idea on paper and can be catastrophic If I'll lose. But right now I don't really have any other choices how to get out of this pit. But at the same time it might work out and I'll be able not only cover my mom's surgery but also to pay off those loans immediately so I don't have to pay extra (overpayment) comparing to situation when I'll have to pay 200-300$ monthly for 3-4years. Especially considering I'm already paying rent and bills and buying some neccesary stuff to home. I know for a fact I won't be able to pay those 200-300bucks monthly and thats the only reason why I wanna double that money. I'm not thinking about getting rich and all that. I'm thinking about only how to solve this shitty situation and get back to normal life. I just wanna live like a normal person w/o stressing out 24/7 that's it..

Ok let's say you are not trolling.
Probably over 95% lose money when betting, so you have maybe 5% chance this will work and 95% you end up with a loan that you can't pay. I don't know if that will reduce the stress of you and your mother. Without using your intelligence it will be hard to solve anything.

 

[flequin]

He posted his picture

And? what's the problem? I can't do that or what? I don't get it.
Isn't would be more logical for scammers to not post their pictures just in case?

Also his whole family doesn't wanna get involved

Yeah... My whole family... I wish I had the whole family or at least someone else who I'd rely on
You're very lucky if you have big family or at least someone else in your family other than you so you can support each other in hard times. I always wanted to have that type of family but.. it is what it is.

And then the I got noone to talk to irl

You'd be surprised how many people out there who's got noone to talk irl and feel way more comfortable finding someone to talk online comparing to irl

Usually people don't wanna make thesmelves weak and small online and post their and their moms picture

I've always been like that for many many years. Even till this day I feel uncomfortable posting my picture online. That's why I don't post anything on russian/kazakh segment of the internet related to my story. The main reason why I can feel ok posting here just because I know 100% noone from our relatives or peers/former classmates would read this forum.

Also said he isn't asking for money but it all resolves around that his problems would be solved if people sent him money that he can't earn himself

Yes.. imagine that in my situation not everything (but the most part) depends from money like in many many cases of people's problems. What can I do.. I'm sorry If it's triggers you that much. Not everything because the sources of anxiety and depression is related not only to my mom's condition but still it would be regular level of being anxious and depressed but nowhere close to this unbearable level.

 

[Trabaho]

And? what's the problem? I can't do that or what? I don't get it.
Isn't would be more logical for scammers to not post their pictures just in case?


Yeah... My whole family... I wish I had the whole family or at least someone else who I'd rely on
You're very lucky if you have big family or at least someone else in your family other than you so you can support each other in hard times. I always wanted to have that type of family but.. it is what it is.


You'd be surprised how many people out there who's got noone to talk irl and feel way more comfortable finding someone to talk online comparing to irl


I've always been like that for many many years. Even till this day I feel uncomfortable posting my picture online. That's why I don't post anything on russian/kazakh segment of the internet related to my story. The main reason why I can feel ok posting here just because I know 100% noone from our relatives or peers/former classmates would read this forum.



Yes.. imagine that in my situation not everything (but the most part) depends from money like in many many cases of people's problems. What can I do.. I'm sorry If it's triggers you that much. Not everything because the sources of anxiety and depression is related not only to my mom's condition but still it would be regular level of being anxious and depressed but nowhere close to this unbearable level.

How do we know it's you in the picture

Your profile bio screams scammer

"For the last few months I just can't think of anything else other than what might happen If I won't be able to help her in time "

 

[flequin]

Ok let's say you are not trolling.
Probably over 95% lose money when betting, so you have maybe 5% chance this will work and 95% you end up with a loan that you can't pay. I don't know if that will reduce the stress of you and your mother. Without using your intelligence it will be hard to solve anything.

I don't know where you found this stats. I highly doubt it's true. But even if it is. I think it's correlates to a constant betting at a distance. Sorry for my english I hope you understood what I meant. I didn't want to bet without carefully choosing fight or two fights in parlay and beforehand discussing/asking sherbetting bros advices (from betting section or from ufc discussion section) I know there's no locks and fights with guaranteed outcomes but I'm still considering doing that. I don't mean to be a sarcastic but If you're such a smart guy can you tell me what's the right thing to do in my situation?

 

[flequin]

How do we know it's you in the picture

Your profile bio screams scammer

"For the last few months I just can't think of anything else other than what might happen If I won't be able to help her in time "

If I can prove it that's my picture you wouldn't believe me anyways? Would you? Cuz you already convinced yourself me being a scammer. My profile bio screams desperation I would say everything what I wrote there is 100% truth that's how I felt at that moment when I was typing those words and mostly still feel the same way.

 

[Trabaho]

Your English is near perfect but not good enough to have joined discussions within the 5 years that you registered here.

Seek help in your country. In Bosnia someone rich will always pay for someone poor's surgery.

Go public in your country. Ask the red cross, Churches ect.

I wish any mother that has such a condition to get the help they need and Mercy from God. May God guide communities to do right and help where its due.

 

[Trabaho]

Start a go fund me on those fund websites ? They can verify your case I think. I believe people are supportive there.