So I finally finished losing everything

Life has a weird way of making all the bad stuff happen at once. I don't really have any sage advice, but hang in there dude, it will turn around as this stuff doesn't last forever.

Someone mentioned it, but getting obsessed with working out is probably the best possible thing you could do for yourself here, even just walking outside a ton. You mentioned you have been sick the past few months, hope you feel better soon man
 
fingercuffs said:
Because you're a lovely human Mikey. I would be shocked beyond belief if you left cat behind.
This is a massive shock to the system so no wonder you're in a bit of a shock situation. How long is the lease you have on the place you're at?
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12 months.
 
You're better off in a tiny apartment, than living with your mates toxic missus and her thieving kids.

As lonely as it may be, you sound better off away from it all.

My mother recently went through a similar situation, though she went to a rented room and gave the cat to her sister.
 
Mike said:
12 months.
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Going to have to suck it up and deal without them in your life and try to look forward as miserable as it is. I'm sorry, I'm preaching to the choir.
 
Mike said:
Some of you are aware of my general situation. About five years ago I moved out here for work with my best and last remaining friend. Great success on the finding work, but not much else is working out.

Anyways the first couple years after I moved here I was living on my own. I was struggling, my friend was struggling, so me and him and his family started renting a house together. We've been doing that for three years now. Well some shit popped off and I ended up moving out. I find the way shit played out pretty unforgivable. His wife is a cunt, and her family are the only people I really associate with other than my friend. So my entire small social circle is gone now.

My pseudo family that I've spent every holiday and special occasion with for the last 5 years. And my best friend since 2007. The only thing that's really been a consistent and stable part of my life for the last 15 years. Gone. I've been through so much loss, abandonment, and betrayal that it's basically no big deal now. Never trust anyone or get particularly close to anyone anymore. But this shit stilll stings. I thought I'd already lost everything I could lose. I didn't think I could really lose the last person that gives a shit about me. I'm more mad at myself for ever thinking I can trust anyone or rely on them in any way. Shoulda known better by now.
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Well we are here, bro. We may be a bunch of inadequate weirdos posting on a viet vo dao forum, but we are here.
 
Without anything holding you back, you can pretty much do anything now.

Maybe try something like that Alaskan crab fishing, a bit dangerous but the pay is great and you will have a chance at makings some new relationships.
 
PG29 red0 Jr said:
Without anything holding you back, you can pretty much do anything now.

Maybe try something like that Alaskan crab fishing, a bit dangerous but the pay is great and you will have a chance at makings some new relationships.
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He has a moggy though, I don't know if cats are too good on Ice Wars or whatever the Discovery deep sea fishing is.
 
EL CORINTHIAN said:
Is there a reason why she was being rude? What exactly would she do or say to be rude? I'm just having a hard time thinking that you're just innocently floating around while she just has random outbursts of rudeness.

There must be some intelligible complaint coming out of the wife.
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Having been around enough people in my life, in particular women, I can totally buy that someone would be rude to another for absolutely no fucking reason.
I once had a coworker who was rude to me and obviously hated me, but for the life of me, I couldn't tell why. She was talking shit about me to other coworkers, including ones who were my friends so they would tell me that she didn't like me. I could not figure what I did wrong since I also barely ever interacted with her so it's not like I gave her a reason to hate me. My other coworkers couldn't figure it out either. I just concluded that she was nuts because she started doing that to another coworker too. Some people just decide that they don't like you. Then one day she had the audacity to contact me to cover for her, after I had quit.

One of my ex girlfriends would also out of fucking nowhere snap at me and be disrespectful to me. A lot of women are also bipolar or are borderline. It's fucking nuts.
 
Mike said:
People are cunts. Friends, family, girlfriends, bosses, coworkers, random hobos I meet outside my shitty apartment.

Every relationship I ever have, regardless of the type, ends because the other person just won't fucking stop treating me in fucked up disrespectful ways. And one day I just get sick of it or outlive my usefulness.

I dunno. Nobody ever seems to give a fuck about me other than as an expendable resource to be used.
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I don't have the inside scoop on your personal details so MAYBE it is as you say and everyone turns on you and you surround yourself with unsavory characters.

I be that guy who points out when you have a problem with everyone you interact with for years, it might be you and your perception that is the problem.
 
Mike said:
My punching bag is in the trunk of my car. Once I get a little bit healthier I'm going to put it together and at least start working out again. Hopefully in the next couple days.
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You don't even need any fancy equipment or a gym Mike. When I first started back working out 5 years ago, I just started doing things like Push ups, jumping jacks, rope skipping and core exercises. Start slowly and work your way up my man.

I really do hope that you're able to get things together and straightened out. You've always come across as a decent level headed guy here. Best of luck.
 
Have you thought about going somewhere totally different and starting a life totally anew?

Go to an island in the Caribbean, find a local hotty and chill on the beach. Get a camper van and road trip around the country. Live with a hippy commune for a few months. Trip balls on shrooms in a desert. Go to Alaska and work at a national park. I don't know. I'm just spitballing ideas.

Maybe my position in life isn't as bad, but I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm in a situation where I feel like I lost a lot in terms of my social relationships and physical and mental health, and I think about going somewhere totally different from what I'm used to. I'm really flirting with the idea of going to central asia to be alone in the middle of nowhere for awhile. Get a new perspective. Clear my mind. Feel the dirt between my fingers and breathe in air from the mountains.
 
Mike said:
People are cunts. Friends, family, girlfriends, bosses, coworkers, random hobos I meet outside my shitty apartment.

Every relationship I ever have, regardless of the type, ends because the other person just won't fucking stop treating me in fucked up disrespectful ways. And one day I just get sick of it or outlive my usefulness.

I dunno. Nobody ever seems to give a fuck about me other than as an expendable resource to be used.
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Obviously I'm not familiar with your situation fully, but you're posting it on a public forum so I'm throwing my 2 cents in.

There's a lot of blame being given out there my man. Everybody else's fault. Everyone is a cunt. Why are they doing this to me? How could they abandon me?

You can call me a cunt, but if you're 40+ relying on a married man and his family for support and shelter, then getting mad about them cutting you off, I think it's time to start looking inward rather than outward for what's wrong.
 
Mike said:
People are cunts. Friends, family, girlfriends, bosses, coworkers, random hobos I meet outside my shitty apartment.

Every relationship I ever have, regardless of the type, ends because the other person just won't fucking stop treating me in fucked up disrespectful ways. And one day I just get sick of it or outlive my usefulness.

I dunno. Nobody ever seems to give a fuck about me other than as an expendable resource to be used.
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I agree with you. People are fucking stupid and I generally I dislike them. Most people I come across are forgettable at best, and many will turn your backs on you if you fool yourself into thinking you've made a real connection. I've learned to build up walls because of past experiences.

That being said... I also try to understand that my experience and perspective is only one out of countless versions of reality. My last therapist tried to work on my problem of impatience with people. I don't give a lot of leeway to people. If you someone says or does something that I really don't like, I don't care to have that person in my life anymore. But perhaps I need to be a bit more forgiving and let people make mistakes, since I also make mistakes, which also means I need to be forgiving of myself.
 
Mike said:
I'm in my 40s now and haven't formed any sort of new meaningful relationship in over a decade now. I live somewhere strange, that I have no personal connection too. I'm too burned out and fucked up mentally and physically to even do the work I moved out here to do anymore. I'm sick AF and injured and mentally fucking unwell.

I dunno. I just don't know anymore. Whatever I decide to do next, I'm sure it'll be wrong.
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There are 8 billion people and 200 countries in the world.

40's isn't old. Save up a bit of money and go somewhere else. What's the worst that could happen?
 
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No one really gives a shit about you more than a little bit. No matter how close someone is once you become too inconvenient they'll drop you in a second.

That works in the opposite way too though. Since no one really cares about you, you're free to do things and make mistakes and it's not a big deal.

I have plenty of friends and intimate relationships still but I have much more realistic expectations about them going in.
 
empsim said:
They are 8 billion people and 200 countries in the world.

40's isn't old. Save up a bit of money and go somewhere else. What's the worst that could happen?
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You planning on funding his flight and first month's rent? I've been lucky moving abroad, have you?
 
BigSexy444 said:
No one really gives a shit about you more than a little bit. No matter how close someone is once you become too inconvenient they'll drop you in a second.

That works in the opposite way too though. Since no one really cares about you, you're free to do things and make mistakes and it's not a big deal.
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You are such a feelgood treasure. We need to keep you around for funerals.
 
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