I think it's just being honest. Denying the intention behind it is being dishonest. And further, I don't see how you can fail to understand that your own whining is exactly the same as what you're criticizing (that is, you're trying to control the language yourself). I think the ideal solution is for people to tell the truth to the best of their ability and let the chips fall where they may. I.e., in this case, people can say "illegals" and other people can notice what the intention behind that is. Your approach--trying to police language while at the same time decrying it--is incoherent.