Ye old "Eat, Drink & Be Married" vol 20: Jackie sells wolf tickets edition

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Men, I need your advice.

So as I briefly mentioned before, I got divorced about 1.5+ years ago.
Life is put together now, and I'm getting ready to propose to my girlfriend of a year. We're hoping to do a wedding in August.

So it's her first time getting married and despite how uninterested she is in all the hoopla of a wedding, she's committed to having her family involved and all that shit. Even though this whole thing is going to be low-key, I'm pretty wary of anything that puts the focus on me getting married, lol. I'm radically embarrassed to do another wedding, to send invitations to the same friends and family, some of whom do not know the full story of why I ever got divorced.
When we talk about dates and anything that isn't what color to paint plant pots, I get a small ball of anxiety in my stomach. When this goes on for long enough, I tend to emotionally shut down and completely become apathetic (not a good thing considering it's involving my lady and all).

So seriously, what do i do with this? What kind of ground to give up? How much anxiety and personal embarrassment do I deal with to allow her to plan this thing in a way she feels honors her family and herself?
 
MiCavalier said:
Hey, guys. Making a quick check-in. Trip to Vegas has been a blast, things are starting to wind down and we're about to take a recovery day before heading home Sunday night / Monday morning..

Had a wild night at craps where I turned $20 into $225, spent a good four hours at the table. I also had a pretty cute stranger randomly acting as my good luck charm. She was also betting with me. Felt pretty weird because the three guys I'm with are all married, were at the table with me, and she was being really flirty with me probably because I'm the only one without the ring. It was all just for fun at the table, though, as we cashed out at around the same time and she moved on to another table to meet her sister in leave.

We nicknamed her Mildred. Tried to make her less attractive but it didn't work. Mildred was really damn cute.

I'm anxious to get home to my girl now.
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As soon as I read that you had a cute stranger hanging with you, I thought this was going to be a hooker story. I am Disapoint. Congrats on winning at the table.
 
v.kevin said:
As soon as I read that you had a cute stranger hanging with you, I thought this was going to be a hooker story. I am Disapoint. Congrats on winning at the table.
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I don't know if I'm comfortable sharing a hooker story here. Mostly because it would probably end with her being in the desert.
 
Spoken said:
Men, I need your advice.

So as I briefly mentioned before, I got divorced about 1.5+ years ago.
Life is put together now, and I'm getting ready to propose to my girlfriend of a year. We're hoping to do a wedding in August.

So it's her first time getting married and despite how uninterested she is in all the hoopla of a wedding, she's committed to having her family involved and all that shit. Even though this whole thing is going to be low-key, I'm pretty wary of anything that puts the focus on me getting married, lol. I'm radically embarrassed to do another wedding, to send invitations to the same friends and family, some of whom do not know the full story of why I ever got divorced.
When we talk about dates and anything that isn't what color to paint plant pots, I get a small ball of anxiety in my stomach. When this goes on for long enough, I tend to emotionally shut down and completely become apathetic (not a good thing considering it's involving my lady and all).

So seriously, what do i do with this? What kind of ground to give up? How much anxiety and personal embarrassment do I deal with to allow her to plan this thing in a way she feels honors her family and herself?
Click to expand...

Oh boy, that's a tough one. I don't suppose that telling you that getting remarried is common and no one will see you as a cast on Jerry Springer will ease your anxiety.

Idk, man. I think you should talk to your lady about it so she knows where you're coming from and perhaps talk to a friend or even a professional. No shame in seeing a counselor.
 
What's up fellers, it's been a while.

I was on vacation, and when I go on vacation, I take a vacation from almost everything, including Sherdog.

Now I'm here at work on the Saturday before Easter paying penance for my 5 days off. I'm way behind on some shit with a hard deadline...but not behind enough to not stop in here and drop this note.

Peace!
 
Spoken said:
Men, I need your advice.

So as I briefly mentioned before, I got divorced about 1.5+ years ago.
Life is put together now, and I'm getting ready to propose to my girlfriend of a year. We're hoping to do a wedding in August.

So it's her first time getting married and despite how uninterested she is in all the hoopla of a wedding, she's committed to having her family involved and all that shit. Even though this whole thing is going to be low-key, I'm pretty wary of anything that puts the focus on me getting married, lol. I'm radically embarrassed to do another wedding, to send invitations to the same friends and family, some of whom do not know the full story of why I ever got divorced.
When we talk about dates and anything that isn't what color to paint plant pots, I get a small ball of anxiety in my stomach. When this goes on for long enough, I tend to emotionally shut down and completely become apathetic (not a good thing considering it's involving my lady and all).

So seriously, what do i do with this? What kind of ground to give up? How much anxiety and personal embarrassment do I deal with to allow her to plan this thing in a way she feels honors her family and herself?
Click to expand...

Spoken, I totally understand where you're coming from. The simple fact is that you will need to just buck up and lose face with your friends and family in order to make your life with your new lady work. It will be hard, but worth it. That's the kind of sacrifice that will be a good first step to building trust and appreciation in your new life. Believe me, I know all about the ball of anxiety, but if you just endure it and get through this hurdle, it'll all be fine.

On a side note, losing face is good for you. It keeps people humble.
 
Had another argument with the wife again this morning. It was about money this time. There was some money from my insurance company for the car that was deposited into my wife's account since there was some problem putting it into mine.

So it was agreed that when the money was deposited, it would be given back to me and I would give her money for expenses. Since my funds are low at the moment until pay day and things need to be paid for, I mentioned that I needed the cash. She said that she hadn't taken all of it out, but then not minutes later she took all of the cash out from her hiding place right in front of me. So I basically caught her in another lie. We both lost our tempers and she ended up taking a taxi to work on her own (I've been taking her and Jakilynn there for the past few weekends and staying so that Jaki can still be breastfed).

So she's told me to move out again, more or less the same as the last couple of days. So now I think I'm going to get a cheap place closer to work. I'll actually save some cash with a lower gas bill for the car. I think things are looking up.
 
Spoken said:
Men, I need your advice.

So as I briefly mentioned before, I got divorced about 1.5+ years ago.
Life is put together now, and I'm getting ready to propose to my girlfriend of a year. We're hoping to do a wedding in August.

So it's her first time getting married and despite how uninterested she is in all the hoopla of a wedding, she's committed to having her family involved and all that shit. Even though this whole thing is going to be low-key, I'm pretty wary of anything that puts the focus on me getting married, lol. I'm radically embarrassed to do another wedding, to send invitations to the same friends and family, some of whom do not know the full story of why I ever got divorced.
When we talk about dates and anything that isn't what color to paint plant pots, I get a small ball of anxiety in my stomach. When this goes on for long enough, I tend to emotionally shut down and completely become apathetic (not a good thing considering it's involving my lady and all).

So seriously, what do i do with this? What kind of ground to give up? How much anxiety and personal embarrassment do I deal with to allow her to plan this thing in a way she feels honors her family and herself?
Click to expand...

Your friends and family should be happy about you getting married to a great woman who you love. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Its not their business to know the full story of your divorce. Let her do the wedding the way she wants ang just go along for the ride.
 
Appreciate the encouragement.
We had a slight argument last night but I feel that today we're kind of the same page. The embarrassment isn't positive, and even though it's a state of being, it's one that needs to be fought through, you know?
I pretty need to intentionally give a shit about the wedding, and recognize that this whole relationship has been very new and antithetical to the old... why wouldn't the wedding be the same? In a sense, it may actually be psychologically redemptive.
 
I just tried catching a rattle snake...


It got away. I'll look for him later.
 
I almost caught a skunk once. He sprayed me.....I stunk.
 
The stripper-esque blackjack dealers at Las Vegas Club stole all my money and now I'm pissed. Just because they're cute and half naked doesn't mean they can be snotty.

Stick with the fully clothed, friendlier dealers.
 
Spoken said:
Men, I need your advice.

So as I briefly mentioned before, I got divorced about 1.5+ years ago.
Life is put together now, and I'm getting ready to propose to my girlfriend of a year. We're hoping to do a wedding in August.

So it's her first time getting married and despite how uninterested she is in all the hoopla of a wedding, she's committed to having her family involved and all that shit. Even though this whole thing is going to be low-key, I'm pretty wary of anything that puts the focus on me getting married, lol. I'm radically embarrassed to do another wedding, to send invitations to the same friends and family, some of whom do not know the full story of why I ever got divorced.
When we talk about dates and anything that isn't what color to paint plant pots, I get a small ball of anxiety in my stomach. When this goes on for long enough, I tend to emotionally shut down and completely become apathetic (not a good thing considering it's involving my lady and all).

So seriously, what do i do with this? What kind of ground to give up? How much anxiety and personal embarrassment do I deal with to allow her to plan this thing in a way she feels honors her family and herself?
Click to expand...

Grob said:
Your friends and family should be happy about you getting married to a great woman who you love. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Its not their business to know the full story of your divorce. Let her do the wedding the way she wants ang just go along for the ride.
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This. I think you're over thinking it a bit. Your friends/family is going to be happy that you're happy. Remember that weddings aren't necessarily about you & the focus is going to be on the bride anyway. Hopefully that eases some of your anxiety.

I have a habit of over thinking things myself. If I've learned anything (trust me it ain't much) it's that we can't assume we know how people are going to think or react. In the end it's just projection of our own emotions. You probably feel a certain way about the circumstances surrounding your first marriage & assume others feel the same. But you have to remember, like you said, they don't know the whole story. They know you divorced & now they know that you're getting married again. They probably assume you're happier now & thus are happy for you. Hope that helps.
 
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EZRA27 said:
This. I think you're over thinking it a bit. Your friends/family is going to be happy that you're happy. Remember that weddings aren't necessarily about you & the focus is going to be on the bride anyway. Hopefully that eases some of your anxiety.

I have a habit of over thinking things myself. If I've learned anything (trust me it ain't much) it's that we can't assume we know how people are going to think or react. In the end it's just projection of our own emotions. You probably feel a certain way about the circumstances surrounding your first marriage & assume others feel the same. But you have to remember, like you said, they don't know the whole story. They know you divorced & now they know that you're getting married again. They probably assume you're happier now & thus are happy for you. Hope that helps.
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Very well put. Here I am recommending a shrink and you and Grob nailed it. We often put too much emphasis on what others think of us but the truth is, they don't think of us much at all. Everyone thinks of themselves for the most part. :icon_neut
 
Happy Easter bros. I'll check in tomorrow. Hope you guys have a great day with your fams...
 
v.kevin said:
I just tried catching a rattle snake...


It got away. I'll look for him later.
Click to expand...

why the fuck would one want to "catch" a rattle snake??

those things are posionous and mean.

near the house rattle snakes should be killed swiftly and cleanly then made into a belt and wallet or if he was real big some boots.
 
MiCavalier said:
The stripper-esque blackjack dealers at Las Vegas Club stole all my money and now I'm pissed. Just because they're cute and half naked doesn't mean they can be snotty.

Stick with the fully clothed, friendlier dealers.
Click to expand...

I absolutely hate that whole Idea.. When i want strippers, I want strippers. When I want to play blackjack, I need all of my brain. It isn't much. I can't be distracted.



I used to have a pixie bob-cat that could catch snakes. He caught all kinds of shit. Never rattlers though.


On another note, lots of new faces, and names I don't recognize popping up in here since I popped in last. Nice to see ya'll.
 
Hope everyone had a happy Easter. Now it's time to get back at it.

So, we're closing on a refinance today, which just proves I'm a complete moron. This is because we're doing it at my office, which requires Michelle to be downtown. Well, it's opening day, and Cincinnati goes batshit crazy for opening day. We have a fucking parade that goes right by my office building. So Michelle is going to have no luck finding a parking spot and when she does it'll be $20. Just great.

The fact that it was opening day never even crossed my mind when I was scheduling. Don't ever let me plan something.
 
Hello all, hope everyone had a nice weekend with their family and friends.
 
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