Not doing too well.

[Wrath of Foamy]

Anyone else struggling out there?

I've been trying to find a better job, but during the practical training required to get my new skills, I developed an anxiety for the role.

I just left a job interview, that I turned down relatively early on, because I'd be worse out of pocket due to having to pay £100 a month for staff parking. I'd have taken it otherwise, as experience is hard to come by for a nervous fellow like myself.

That's not all it. I'm pessimistic for the future, what I see around me, and I can't escape the feeling that no matter what I do, I'll never get respect. Everywhere I look, I'm surrounded by the bored and the miserable. There's no colour or happiness around me.

In terms of society? Community and recreation will be stripped away for all but the wealthy. The working class will just work to survive and own nothing, no home, not even a car. There will be a very clear line of ownership in the future.

I've lay in bed over the last two nights, magically finding god, praying to die in my sleep. Even thought about taking a knife to my wrists, and spent my last few woke hours watching videos on suicide on YouTube. Now I'm awake now, sitting in my Kia that's being pounded by torrential rain, listening to music on Greatest Hits Radio. I didn't get the job, it wasn't good enough, fair enough.

Oh well. Not the first time that I've felt low, probably won't be the last either. I just wish that I didn't waste so much time on it. I'm sure that others are in worse positions than I. I just wanted to vent to others a bit. Save family the hassle.

Nice. Earth Wind and Fire are on the radio. This one.

 

[Tone C]

* hugs *

 

[Wrath of Foamy]

* hugs *

*Hug*

 

[herpd807]

You don't have family for support?

 

[Oeshon]

Nah, life is good.

Work harder, stop pitying yourself.

 

[Hellowhosthat]

It'll pass Sherbro, it sounds like you're reading quite a lot of negative stuff online so I'd maybe try and steer clear of that for a while and find a positive hobby to engage in. Maybe commit to spending a minimum of an hour a day on it.

 

[SteveColdStone]

Keep your head up brah

I’ll try get on Xbox to play with you soon

 

[Texan6533]

I’m Sorry bud; not a fun time right now for you is it? I will be praying for ya (genuinely)

What does your life look like outside of work? Do you work out on a daily basis? Do you have hobbies? I think a lot of what ruins lives is inactivity and boredom (leads to feeling like you have no purpose in my opinion).

 

[William Huggins]

Aren't you married?

 

[William Huggins]

You're going to have to think of another way out of this hole, there are other ways of making money.

 

[Wrath of Foamy]

Nah, life is good.

Work harder, stop pitying yourself.

Good where?

In Thailand maybe.

There's no self pity here. I'm not looking for pity, self or others. I'm not clutching my chest in pronounced agony. I'm just tired of it all. It's all shit.

Let me clarify this with an example.

I watched a video last night, with four people who survived suicide attempts. One person had always wanted to die, and thought about it every day, so he didn't bother thinking about working towards anything, because all he wanted to do was end it all. He shot himself in the chest, missed vital organs and lives in a log cabin somewhere in the states, playing music on a piano.

Work is great, but the end result must be appealing. I've worked to upskill myself over the last year. Threw thousands at it, but everything still looks shit.

 

[William Huggins]

You're going to need to pull up them big boy pants, start fighting back....... Unless you can build a buffer in life, your always going to be running on empty....... Then every little thing will be an issue.

 

[Contempt]

Anyone else struggling out there?

I've been trying to find a better job, but during the practical training required to get my new skills, I developed an anxiety for the role.

I just left a job interview, that I turned down relatively early on, because I'd be worse out of pocket due to having to pay £100 a month for staff parking. I'd have taken it otherwise, as experience is hard to come by for a nervous fellow like myself.

That's not all it. I'm pessimistic for the future, what I see around me, and I can't escape the feeling that no matter what I do, I'll never get respect. Everywhere I look, I'm surrounded by the bored and the miserable. There's no colour or happiness around me.

In terms of society? Community and recreation will be stripped away for all but the wealthy. The working class will just work to survive and own nothing, no home, not even a car. There will be a very clear line of ownership in the future.

I've lay in bed over the last two nights, magically finding god, praying to die in my sleep. Even thought about taking a knife to my wrists, and spent my last few woke hours watching videos on suicide on YouTube. Now I'm awake now, sitting in my Kia that's being pounded by torrential rain, listening to music on Greatest Hits Radio. I didn't get the job, it wasn't good enough, fair enough.

Oh well. Not the first time that I've felt low, probably won't be the last either. I just wish that I didn't waste so much time on it. I'm sure that others are in worse positions than I. I just wanted to vent to others a bit. Save family the hassle.

Nice. Earth Wind and Fire are on the radio. This one.

Sorry to hear that dude. I know it's cliche but don't give up, things can always get better.

Don't start contemplating a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Your sherbro's are always here for you... OK hopefully that didn't make you even more depressed LOL

 

[El Che]

Life has it's ebbs and flows. I hope you feel better man and things pick up. I feel like it could always be worse and try to feel blessed with what I got even if it seems like not much.

 

[Wrath of Foamy]

You're going to need to pull up them big boy pants, start fighting back....... Unless you can build a buffer in life, your always going to be running on empty....... Then every little thing will be an issue.

My pants have been up for ages mate.

I have some money. I have a roof over my head. I have a job where I can save a bit. I have a car. I put up with shit so that I don't lose things, or lose the opportunity to get things.

I know that you're trying to help. You've given me offers before, which I've appreciated. I'm just tired of fighting. I want to just be happy, in a happy place, with happy people.

 

[Phlog]

Life is pain but if the brain is working well enough it still has the capacity for moments of happiness.

The older I get, there's a familiarity with the pain of being a human which makes it easier to bear.

If you can't have moments of being ok I suggest seeing a doc for a prescription holiday and see if a different frame of mind helps.

 

[deadshot138]

You're depressed. Nothing tangible will bring you out of it. Could be compounded by seasonal affective disorder. I know I'm having a harder time getting out of bed these days and relying more on vices to get through the day. Some of us are more keen than others to the frivolity of it all. And I'm living "the American dream."

 

[Takes_Two_To_Tango]

Good where?

In Thailand maybe.

There's no self pity here. I'm not looking for pity, self or others. I'm not clutching my chest in pronounced agony. I'm just tired of it all. It's all shit.

Let me clarify this with an example.

I watched a video last night, with four people who survived suicide attempts. One person had always wanted to die, and thought about it every day, so he didn't bother thinking about working towards anything, because all he wanted to do was end it all. He shot himself in the chest, missed vital organs and lives in a log cabin somewhere in the states, playing music on a piano.

Work is great, but the end result must be appealing. I've worked to upskill myself over the last year. Threw thousands at it, but everything still looks shit.

One thing I noticed in life for me, is that it's not good as you think it is and also it's not as bad as you think it is. Right now your just looking through your depressive glasses and all you see is gloom and doom.

You're just not completely rational right now because of your depressed state and it's fogging your ability to think clearly. And it's ok to feel down, nothing wrong with that. It goes on phases though, you eventually will start feeling happier. You just have to ride out the storm.

But don't do anything rash, it's not worth it. Just imagine all the people you will hurt if you do something drastic to yourself.

It's good you vented your frustrations, get out of your system. But I think you should speak to a professional therapist. If you are have suicidal ideations, you should call the suicide hotline.

I'm assuming you live in the States so it's 9-8-8. Take care, if you need to talk just give me a shout anytime.

 

[Captain Sausage]

I am no expert at all, but maybe you are suffering from anxiety...I used to suffer (5 combat deployments) in silence until I decided to talk to my doctor, a little medication and it's really like night and day, my Quality of Life drastically improved, so it might be a conversation worth having with your primary care provider.

 

[Wrath of Foamy]

One thing I noticed in life for me, is that it's not good as you think it is and also it's not as bad as you think it is. Right now your just looking through your depressive glasses and all you see is gloom and doom.

You're just not completely rational right now because of your depressed state and it's fogging your ability to think clearly. And it's ok to feel down, nothing wrong with that. It goes on phases though, you eventually will start feeling happier. You just have to ride out the storm.

But don't do anything rash, it's not worth it. Just imagine all the people you will hurt if you do something drastic to yourself.

It's good you vented your frustrations, get out of your system. But I think you should speak to a professional therapist. If you are have suicidal ideations, you should call the suicide hotline.

I'm assuming you live in the States so it's 9-8-8. Take care, if you need to talk just give me a shout anytime.

I'm in the UK. I think it's 111?

I've been through rough patches before, but I didn't think I'd be having clear thoughts like this at this stage of my life. It's not even despair, just "fuck this", you know?

I appreciate the help brother.