Should I get a place with my girl and her kid?

[ralphc1]

No pic but she's 5'4" brunette with a fit body and a big nice ass. One of the chillest girls I've known and we get along very very well.

Why isn't she with the kid's father?

 

[zapataxiv]

go for it

it ain't so hard being a dad

just make sure the kid has food in his bowl and hose him down once a week.

doesn't even have to be a house kid could raise him in the car.

and keep the house to yourself

 

[Contempt]

Fucked up situation for sure. Glad it's one of my core values not to be financially dependent on anyone else ever.

Unfortunately the unexpected tends to happen and it's difficult to plan for everything. My parents for example, dad had major open heart surgery, mum got cancer and they have been nearly completely financially reliant on me for the last 10-15 years and now live downstairs in my house. Shit happens /shrugs

 

[William Huggins]

Unfortunately the unexpected tends to happen and it's difficult to plan for everything. My parents for example, dad had major open heart surgery, mum got cancer and they have been nearly completely financially reliant on me for the last 10-15 years and now live downstairs in my house. Shit happens /shrugs

Their lucky to have you, 100% respect to you and 0% Contempt.

 

[Meatspin]

Unfortunately the unexpected tends to happen and it's difficult to plan for everything. My parents for example, dad had major open heart surgery, mum got cancer and they have been nearly completely financially reliant on me for the last 10-15 years and now live downstairs in my house. Shit happens /shrugs

Aged care is a huge cost I never thought of until a couple years ago. At least Australia has some government funded aged care support, like home visits etc. Glad you're doing the right thing.

 

[Contempt]

Aged care is a huge cost I never thought of until a couple years ago. At least Australia has some government funded aged care support, like home visits etc. Glad you're doing the right thing.

They are only 70. Hopefully they don't need any of that stuff for at least another 5-10 years.

 

[Meatspin]

They are only 70. Hopefully they don't need any of that stuff for at least another 5-10 years.

Fingers crossed.

 

[kimocomplex]

Some clear red flags Sherbro

 

[KBE6EKCTAH_CCP]

So my lease on my apartment is up this month. If I re sign I'll be paying $1750 a month for a 1bd 1ba 600sq ft apartment. I've been seeing this girl (Whom I've known for around 5-6 years) for about 4 months and we spend 2-4 days a week together. She has a 2/3 year old kid and her lease is up this month too. I'm sick of not being able to save much money so we are talking about getting a 2bd 2ba 1000sq ft apartment for $1800-2000. We've already found a few we like and I'm just going over everything in my head. The goal is to be able to buy a house sooner than later. Here are the pros and cons

Pros

1. Will be able to save around $1000+ a month
2. Bigger apartment
3. Won't have to pay for a parking spot
4. Sex on the regs

Cons.

1. Will be a 30-45 min commute to work instead of a 10 min commute
2. Will live with a 2/3 year old every other week
3. Have to drive everywhere rather than just walking to any bar/store I wanted like my current place
4. Moving sucks

Currently live in Portland, OR and would be moving to Vancouver, WA if I did move.....

Thoughts?

As a father of 2 small children I can't express how sad I find it that the presence of the child every second week is a minus for you. I would say do not do it and let that girl find someone who doesn't mind her child.

 

[KBE6EKCTAH_CCP]

Sounds like it's all about money, which is a bad reason to live with someone. You don't sound like you care for the girlfriend that much, and you definitely don't seem to care for the kid at all. Imo it's psychologically damaging for a kid to be around someone who literally only thinks of them as some sort of nuisance.

Thank you. TS is weighing saving money vs the presence of the child. That sounds like a very sad situation for that child.

 

[Cool Hand Luke]

Really sounds like what happened to me 20 years ago.

My two roommates (a couple) wanted to buy a house meaning I would be left with my 2 room apartment which I couldn't afford by myself A girl I was seeing for a couple of months, who had a 5 year old, was moving out of their apartment and trying to buy a house.

We ended up buying a house together, I proposed the day we moved in and 20 years later we have three more kids.

 

[rearnakedchoke]

Don’t do it. This can go sideways more often than not.

 

[rearnakedchoke]

Really sounds like what happened to me 20 years ago.

My two roommates (a couple) wanted to buy a house meaning I would be left with my 2 room apartment which I couldn't afford by myself A girl I was seeing for a couple of months, who had a 5 year old, was moving out of their apartment and trying to buy a house.

We ended up buying a house together, I proposed the day we moved in and 20 years later we have three more kids.

Don’t do it. This can go sideways more often than not.

See TS? This could be you!
Don’t do it

 

[Fluffernutter]

Lost me at commute

 

[Cool Hand Luke]

See TS? This could be you!
Don’t do it

lmao

 

[Phlog]

I hope you're happy but I will never understand why anyone would be with a woman with another man's child.

You're young right?

 

[Oregonmma]

Ffs you'll be paying $780 more for a 2 bedroom apartment than I do for my mortgage on a 2 bedroom house with 1800 sq ft.

That's fuckin nuts sir.

Welcome to the new age my friend.

 

[Oregonmma]

Why isn't she with the kid's father?

Dude had a bad alcohol/gambling addiction and she had to pretty much pay for everything including his bills. Was just a shitty person in general.

 

[jeff7b9]

12 month commitment to a 4 month relationship breaks the supposed rule for future commitments.

So "they" say no.

I didn't hear the part where you are out of your mind in love with this chick and plan on marrying her (which you have no obligation to do).

How well do you know the kid?

Kind of jumping out of the plane without a parachute mate.

 

[jeff7b9]

For both of you? or just you.

Wait till those "need to you pick up your kid right away" daycare calls come in. Soon enough, she will say she had to leave work early so many times that you have to start picking the kid up or she will lose her job. Unless she has a mother who lives nearby or something

Saving money and a better place is nice. but just jumping in with a girl with a 3 year old is going to be a full time job at home. your time off is no longer your time off. Fuck, I used to go to work extra to get a break. If this relationship gets serious, expect that extra money you save to start going to split childcare and shit. i guarantee that's coming. "if you are serious about this relationship, it should be like a family and we have a joint bank account"

She will wait a year to drop that hammer, and if you balk, she likely moves out and you get stuck with the lease when she disappears. Girls with kids will make you walk the plank of decision a lot faster than single girls will and say "my child is getting attached to you, we need to know now if this is serious".

Didn't think about child related costs.

If you are doing this for financial reasons, which seem to be the case...

RUN.


Also that little shit will cockblock you.

"Mommy I can't sleep"