First date horror stories

[Bukowski82]

holy shit dude, youre a brave man. i wouldve ran, those creepy doll things are my kryptonite. there are 2 things that happen regularly in my nightmares. those dolls turning to look at me and my reflection making a different expression than me.

thanks for sharing that traumatic experience

Hahah, thanks man. I hate dolls... Still freaked out even thinking about it.

Your story was hilarious... I love the fact you just cut your losses and went to RR, then watched Basketball above her head. lol. Exactley what I would have done...

 

[Merlotte's]

Man, I hate you. You're lucky the chick you went on the date with didn't shank you though, would have been a weird way to go, having a fling with the hot roommate while the jealous date stumbled in, slashing herself first in her alcohol fueled rage. The air bed would probably get popped though, mood would be ruined. Sounds like a decent short story...I feel like I'd probably get more winging manning you for a week than I have in my entire life.

But yeah, I don't have any stories like this. I was on an "alternative" dating site and something weird happened as a result of it, but that's not a story I share. It would fit well here though.

Things can get carried away sometimes, I don't know if its me or the women. I actually spent a good deal of time with both girls over the winter. Then didn't see them for almost six months until bumping into the pair at a driving range. For whatever reason I got plastered there, gave my friend the keys to my car and told him I'm going with them. We pick up a case and go to their new apartment. The friend was sunburned, and asks that I administer aloe to her back and shoulders, shes loving it. The old date doesn't seem to mind. The drinking continues and I'm out of it. Don't know how, but I wake up in the date's bed at about 5AM. Still fully clothed, apparently I passed out. Well, I wake her up and roll her towards me, and she's ready, was probably waiting for me to wake up. We go at it for a while, then I take off, a little confused and very satisfied. Fast forward two years, I run into them again. The friend is into me still, we exchange numbers, I pick her up and go to a bonfire. For some reason she has a cousin with her, younger guy who's from out of town. The kid drinks all my liquor, asshole. The bonfire was awkward, a girl I had been sweet on was there and seemed angry I had another interest. The cousin fucked up any chance I had of getting some action, so I tell everyone at the bonfire to come to my place and I drop the freind and her cousin off and return home. To my surprise, I find the other girl who I was sweet on there on my couch. Really good looking girl who probably welcomed competition or something. This one doesn't end so well. The night developes great, her and I are laughing and getting along. End up in my bedroom, her body is better than I could have imagined. We're just about to get it on after some extended foreplay, then out of nowhere her friend bursts in the room crying. This puts a hault to everything, I put a few months of subtle work into this girl and have to watch her take the whiny friend home. Never had another crack at her, if ever there was the one who got away it was she. Man what a hot little number.

 

[dawnignited]

Perhaps I didn't do a good job explaining it... This place made Buffalo Bill's basement look like a god-damn 5 star hotel... It was by far the creepiest place i'd ever seen. IRL, on movies... anywhere.

And to make matters worse, she got really weird and refused to acknowledge how creepy the situation was when I kept indirectly asking her wtf was going on...

It reminded me of the movie Tomcats where the guy picks up that mousey librarian and goes back to her place only to find out she was this dominatrix. Except it was way creepier.

God damn. I wish you just flat out asked her what the deal was 'cause now I'm curious. It's not even the dungeon part that weirds me out so much as her behavior.

 

[Gorgo]

Decided to ask my friend's wife's sister out on a date back in the early 90's. We had Mexican food and I ordered the bean plate special since I was kinda strapped for cash at the time.

Got back to my friends house where she rented a room and low and behold her parents and older brother were there visiting. I sit on the big leather couch next to her and suddenly my stomach starts to rumbles and groan. There is no stopping the gas that is forming in my bowels so I try to cover the noise by scooting my ass on the couch...It kinda covers the noise but unfortunately the smell can't be concealed.

I excuse myself to the bathroom which is a total of about five feet away from where they are all sitting. I turn on the water faucet to full power hoping the running water just might cover up what I know is coming. I sit on the pot and carefully try to pass the conglomeration that has formed in my guts but it's of no use.... I blast out the loudest most obnoxious cacophony of rectal contents you could imagine.

From outside I hear her father say, "What the hell?" and her brother laughing while the mother said, "Shhhh you will hurt his feelings."

Knowing the gig was up I just plowed on through the rest of my dump knowing that any dignity I might have had was gone. The exiting of the bathroom was the biggest walk of shame I have ever taken and once I had returned to my seat the stench decided to follow me out like an old loyal dog.

It was our first and last date.

 

[equus]

i hooked up with this chick in college. we were at a kegger and afterwards we go back to the place i share with 5 other guys. we go to my basement bedroom. as we are walking through the basement she sees a videocamera on the pool table and says "lets bring this with us." well use your imagination on the next couple hours. so the next am, she leaves. so later that am, i watch the video as i didnt remember much being as i had drank around a case of beer and to my utter disgust at the very beginning of the video, the camera catches her pulling something out of her body and clasping it in her hand the whole time.

i wont elaborate but you know what i mean.

 

[lakersfan45]

ts, that was an excellent story. i'm glad u said u were ugly, made me laugh

 

[Merlotte's]

i hooked up with this chick in college. we were at a kegger and afterwards we go back to the place i share with 5 other guys. we go to my basement bedroom. as we are walking through the basement she sees a videocamera on the pool table and says "lets bring this with us." well use your imagination on the next couple hours. so the next am, she leaves. so later that am, i watch the video as i didnt remember much being as i had drank around a case of beer and to my utter disgust at the very beginning of the video, the camera catches her pulling something out of her body and clasping it in her hand the whole time.

i wont elaborate but you know what i mean.

Oh man, lol. Shower time.

 

[lakersfan45]

oh god, i feel so bad for that guy. why would he even go along with that? fuck.

and lol the part with thebra size didnt exist reminded me

while we were eating, i mentioned that im a personal trainer. she started telling me about how much she exercises (yeah right). I asked her how much she runs. SHE TOLD ME SHE RUNS 5 MILES IN HALF AN HOUR. i just fucking stared at her, i felt like middle school when kids didnt know about weed and say the smoked a whole pound or something. I didnt even bother to say anything, i just looked down and kept eating

i run 5 miles in 30 mins everyday (precor treadmill level 10 for 30 mins and 20 seconds), but i'm 5'11 and 145. i couldn't do that at fatty weight.

 

[Bukowski82]

i hooked up with this chick in college. we were at a kegger and afterwards we go back to the place i share with 5 other guys. we go to my basement bedroom. as we are walking through the basement she sees a videocamera on the pool table and says "lets bring this with us." well use your imagination on the next couple hours. so the next am, she leaves. so later that am, i watch the video as i didnt remember much being as i had drank around a case of beer and to my utter disgust at the very beginning of the video, the camera catches her pulling something out of her body and clasping it in her hand the whole time.

i wont elaborate but you know what i mean.

I know that feel bro. Although I didn't see her do it, I found it under the couch the next morning. I almost threw up.

 

[Bukowski82]

Decided to ask my friend's wife's sister out on a date back in the early 90's. We had Mexican food and I ordered the bean plate special since I was kinda strapped for cash at the time.

Got back to my friends house where she rented a room and low and behold her parents and older brother were there visiting. I sit on the big leather couch next to her and suddenly my stomach starts to rumbles and groan. There is no stopping the gas that is forming in my bowels so I try to cover the noise by scooting my ass on the couch...It kinda covers the noise but unfortunately the smell can't be concealed.

I excuse myself to the bathroom which is a total of about five feet away from where they are all sitting. I turn on the water faucet to full power hoping the running water just might cover up what I know is coming. I sit on the pot and carefully try to pass the conglomeration that has formed in my guts but it's of no use.... I blast out the loudest most obnoxious cacophony of rectal contents you could imagine.

From outside I hear her father say, "What the hell?" and her brother laughing while the mother said, "Shhhh you will hurt his feelings."

Knowing the gig was up I just plowed on through the rest of my dump knowing that any dignity I might have had was gone. The exiting of the bathroom was the biggest walk of shame I have ever taken and once I had returned to my seat the stench decided to follow me out like an old loyal dog.

It was our first and last date.

It followed you out like an old loyal dog! :icon_lol:

 

[Bukowski82]

God damn. I wish you just flat out asked her what the deal was 'cause now I'm curious. It's not even the dungeon part that weirds me out so much as her behavior.

That was the part that really creeped me out. Her refusal to acknowledge anything was wrong. If she'd have just laughed and been like, I'm an actress or fuck, even "I really like dolls" I wouldn't have been AS creeped out. But nope. Nothing. It almost seemed like she was waiting for something to happen... Or maybe i've just seen too many horror movies. But I truly felt like at some point i'd have to defend myself against someone who was about to come out of one of the rooms. This girl was far too good looking to just be walking up to guys asking them to come back to her place. Capitol Hill in Seattle is a pretty small place though and I'll probably see her again... I might even ask her what that was all about if I do.

 

[WalkenWouldOwn]

So this isn't really a first 'date...' but it's a horror story nonetheless.

Back in October, I broke up with my girlfriend and went on a little bit of a bender for the weekend. Hooked up with some girls that I wish I could forget about... So I'm happy when I catch this really pretty girl looking at me while i'm having lunch at this pizza place downtown. I'm just about to go talk to her, when she comes up to me and does the whole it's really crowded over at the other end of the bar, do you mind if I sit here. I tell her absolutely. We get to talking and her personality is just as great as she looks and i'm really having a good time. I find out she's a paralegal, she went to college at my school, ect. So then she suggests we grab some more drinks at a place nearby. I'm definitely down so we head over... After a few hours of hanging out we're both pretty drunk and she goes Look I don't mean to be forward and I don't usually do this, but would you like to come hang out at my place for a bit... So I have this very pretty, funny, normal, educated girl asking me back to have sex... Great right?

Well, that's when shit got real...

She told me she lived right near by but we end up walking for like 15 minutes to this ridiculously dumpy apartment in a shadier part of Downtown. So we walk in and she takes me down the side stairs into this basement that looked like something out of a Steven King Novel. We walk up to her door, she opens it... and hollllly shit.

I've watched a ton of horror movies in my life... but this place had to be the creepiest thing I've ever seen. I walk in and there's like white doll masks mounted on the wall (there was even a horse mask,) it was bainted black with purple velvet drapes everywhere, the windows were all spraypained black, there were black candles everywhere, and just tons of other creepy shit everywhere. I was stunned. At first I kind of laughed and was like "Uhhh, are you in the theatre or something?" She just smiled and gave me a non-chalant, "No..." No explanation, nothing... So I'm freaking out a little and I ask her if I could use her bathroom. She points down the hall and in this cheerful voice says it's to your right at the end of the hall.

I start walking down the hall and couldn't believe what I was seeing. The ceiling kept getting smaller as I went down the hall and each room was just filled with dolls and strange costumes and masks... I passed her bed room which was just this little closet type room with a bed taking up the whole space and a lightbulb. I mean, this place was like something out of a straight up Horror Movie.

I come back out in disbelief and asked her if she had a roomate or something that was in the theatre and got the same response... "Nope." With this creepy smile. I kept thinking, Ok anytime now someone's gonna pop outta the closet with a knife and a mask and just kill the shit out of me...

End up sexing her anyways and even that was so creepy I just couldn't keep my dick up. I didn't even finish. I just kinda stopped when she asked me to go down on her... And was like, Well, I'll see ya later. The scariest part about all of it was the fact that she was so cute and normal... and then boom, 180.

I still get the chills thinking about it. Who the fuck has a horse mask mounted on their wall?!

That's awesome.

 

[Merlotte's]

I know that feel bro. Although I didn't see her do it, I found it under the couch the next morning. I almost threw up.

I found out in the worst way possible. Thought maybe I just had a bloody nose trickle into my throat, as the air was dry that day.

 

[Bukowski82]

That's awesome.

Dude, that's the EXACT mask!

 

[WalkenWouldOwn]

The exiting of the bathroom was the biggest walk of shame I have ever taken and once I had returned to my seat the stench decided to follow me out like an old loyal dog.

It was our first and last date.

:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

 

[Bukowski82]

I found out in the worst way possible. Thought maybe I just had a bloody nose trickle into my throat, as the air was dry that day.

Holllllllllly shitttttt!

 

[WalkenWouldOwn]

Dude, that's the EXACT mask!

I've actually owned it for a few years. Laughed very hard when I saw it on the news.

 

[Phreaxer]

i hooked up with this chick in college. we were at a kegger and afterwards we go back to the place i share with 5 other guys. we go to my basement bedroom. as we are walking through the basement she sees a videocamera on the pool table and says "lets bring this with us." well use your imagination on the next couple hours. so the next am, she leaves. so later that am, i watch the video as i didnt remember much being as i had drank around a case of beer and to my utter disgust at the very beginning of the video, the camera catches her pulling something out of her body and clasping it in her hand the whole time.

i wont elaborate but you know what i mean.

I found out in the worst way possible. Thought maybe I just had a bloody nose trickle into my throat, as the air was dry that day.

 

[BobbyMunson**]

Decided to ask my friend's wife's sister out on a date back in the early 90's. We had Mexican food and I ordered the bean plate special since I was kinda strapped for cash at the time.

Got back to my friends house where she rented a room and low and behold her parents and older brother were there visiting. I sit on the big leather couch next to her and suddenly my stomach starts to rumbles and groan. There is no stopping the gas that is forming in my bowels so I try to cover the noise by scooting my ass on the couch...It kinda covers the noise but unfortunately the smell can't be concealed.

I excuse myself to the bathroom which is a total of about five feet away from where they are all sitting. I turn on the water faucet to full power hoping the running water just might cover up what I know is coming. I sit on the pot and carefully try to pass the conglomeration that has formed in my guts but it's of no use.... I blast out the loudest most obnoxious cacophony of rectal contents you could imagine.

From outside I hear her father say, "What the hell?" and her brother laughing while the mother said, "Shhhh you will hurt his feelings."

Knowing the gig was up I just plowed on through the rest of my dump knowing that any dignity I might have had was gone. The exiting of the bathroom was the biggest walk of shame I have ever taken and once I had returned to my seat the stench decided to follow me out like an old loyal dog.

It was our first and last date.

Haha this is gold.

How the fuck did you go back and sit down after that though? I would have been straight out the front door

 

[Merlotte's]

Winning!