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You'd need to be more specific in order for me to comment.
You seem to imply that shootings are justified if someone is facing the probability that another person *could* become violent enough to threaten your life:
For all you know he was going to talk some smack then lay down a more vigorous beating.
Given that the initial confrontation started with a shove, would you say that police are justified in shooting suspects who shove an officer? For all the officer knows, the suspect could lay down a vigorous beating at any time.
I ask all of this because of this particular comment:
Whatever standard cops are held to sounds good enough for the citizenry.
I'm not trying to say I have any of the correct answers, however what you wrote above is a two way street. If you believe that the average citizen should be able to shoot someone for being pushed to the ground, then how would that work if all cops were legally justified in executing anyone who physically touched them in a semi-offensive manner?