Frustration of losing to "that guy" over and over?

[HockeyBjj]

Been trying to keep from getting frustration in the gym, but it's just getting hard so I'm coming here for some words. I've bounced around quite a few gyms the last two years with finishing college and internships. I almost always end up finding someone who is a bit better than me but we have good rolls, and striving to find ways to deal with him and attempt to get to his level or even past. Usually, it doesn't work as we're training the same amount. But it always has felt like a good tool to get better.

Now, maybe the problem is simply that I set my goal too high. The guy is a white belt like me, only started Bjj about a year ago I believe but has a solid wrestling base. 2x state champ winner in HS and did some D2 college stuff. He's the kind of guy I've always felt I'd have to neutralize with my jitz if I ever go into mma. But man if he doesn't beat me every time, and with the same very basic set of moves that leads to him getting a kimura from top half guard or side.

He's 5-1 I believe in amateur mma and is set to make his pro debut soon. Maybe I just got too ambitious seeing a tall lanky 3 strip white belt wrestler my same weight class, and he's just too far out of my league. I easily can accept him being better than me... but it's just a blow when it's this much. Like him tapping me 3-4 times every 5 minute roll and the few times I get on top it doesn't last long as he'll turtle up and get ahold of my legs for a fireman like wrestling something and be back on top content to stay in half guard and start hunting for arms if I try for the underhook.

 

[Da Speeit]

If you know what he's beating you with why don't you work on those facets of your game? If you keep giving him the same openings, the problem is you, not him. Ask him questions. Learn. "Hey, how am I giving this to you so easily?". It's not a competition.

Also, dude, just be happy there's someone there to keep your sharp and give you room to improve. Nothing worse than having a ceiling inherently attached to what you're spending money to learn, work on and improve.

You mentioned finishing college an internships. If you can place yourself in those situations of ignorance where the main priority is to learn, then why can't you parlay that into something you seemingly enjoy like BJJ?

Or am I misunderstanding your feels?

 

[SummerStriker]

He might think he is doing you a favor. If he is getting you with the same stuff all the time, then at least you know what you can get the most bang for your buck out of drilling.

When someone tries to shoulder lock me in top half guard, I fight to get both hands on the same side and dive to pull their leg up on my shoulder. I think it is called the electric chair. If you can't get to it, a great way to get them off your arm is to lock down the shit out of them and make it hurt.

Then you can also practice a counter for how he gets to turtle from your side mount or whatever. There are a million of them, but I'd use the one that looks as much like a move you already know as possible with the least number of steps.

When I say drill, I don't mean until you understand the move. I mean over and over for maybe 7-10 minutes with increasing resistance after the first 5. Then do the other move for that long. Then spar from that position, all at open mat on your own.

It is the only way. I used to get technical mount arm barred by the same dude half my size every day so I took a lesson on countering the technical mount. Then I used to get reaped and heel hooked by the same dude everytime I was in his guard, so I found a better pass, and I drilled and drilled.

 

[SFCFighter]

Being a 2 time state champ and a D2 college wrestler means a heck of a lot more than being a 3 stripe white belt

Please know this.. I can't believe people scoff at me saying there is a general lack of disrespect of knowledge for wrestling in f12 and the BJJ community

For all you know, he has been wrestling for 10 years and would be the equivalent of a brown or black belt in wrestling, which is a fundamental part of grappling

You need to improve your grappling game to beat him. I'm sure upper belts can tap him. Would you get frustrated being tapped by a purple belt who shared the same weight class and body type as you? I doubt it

 

[Uchi Mata]

You need to realign your expectations. If he's that good of a wrestler and MMA fighter, he's a much better grappler than you. Belt level is unimportant, that's a function of many things other than grappling prowess. Jon Jones is a white belt, after all. It's annoying when this happens (it's happened to me with internationally competitive Judo guys), but it's a part of it.

 

[Giovanefugazza]

I will only keep loosing until the day you don't...

Also, don't think of it as a loss, each roll is a learning experience, try to understand why he beat you

Last year i had to change gyms, and i found one that was really close to home...

The bad part is that it was full with white belts and white belts only. Comparing to the other gym i was in, where i was getting mauled by almost everyone, it was a huge difference...

And guess what, i could definitely notice that i was not improving as much in this new gym.

Enjoy every defeat you get, but analyse it and try to not repeat the same mistakes

 

[dmwalking]

I can't relate but I can understand your need to vent. Like da speeit said though, if he's catching you with the same stuff, ask why. Or ask your coach.

 

[HockeyBjj]

If you know what he's beating you with why don't you work on those facets of your game? If you keep giving him the same openings, the problem is you, not him. Ask him questions. Learn. "Hey, how am I giving this to you so easily?". It's not a competition.

Also, dude, just be happy there's someone there to keep your sharp and give you room to improve. Nothing worse than having a ceiling inherently attached to what you're spending money to learn, work on and improve.

You mentioned finishing college an internships. If you can place yourself in those situations of ignorance where the main priority is to learn, then why can't you parlay that into something you seemingly enjoy like BJJ?

Or am I misunderstanding your feels?

You're understanding the feels. With the Kimura (which honestly is 75% of his taps of me), he has a way of peeling away my underhook and getting his own grips on it fast. Then with my bad shoulders I tap without being able to defend much due to rom there. How he's able to always get my arm away from tight to one of us? Still not sure. He switches hips to that reverse side mount and I've learned to do away with reaching under there, and am going more for a deep half or forcing him down my legs now.

And I do go to learn, and I think I do a great job of it. This is my first gym with quality training partners in two years so the learning curve was steep. I was just hoping that after a month or two I'd have at least a few answers for this guy. I've improved against most others who aren't far far better than me, and am learning the counters to the new defenses to other white belts are using against my game, but this guy still makes it easy.

Thanks though, I think accepting that at least for now he's another one of the people I just have to work on surviving against and learn how to do that for a time is what's needed.

He might think he is doing you a favor. If he is getting you with the same stuff all the time, then at least you know what you can get the most bang for your buck out of drilling.

When someone tries to shoulder lock me in top half guard, I fight to get both hands on the same side and dive to pull their leg up on my shoulder. I think it is called the electric chair. If you can't get to it, a great way to get them off your arm is to lock down the shit out of them and make it hurt.

Then you can also practice a counter for how he gets to turtle from your side mount or whatever. There are a million of them, but I'd use the one that looks as much like a move you already know as possible with the least number of steps.

When I say drill, I don't mean until you understand the move. I mean over and over for maybe 7-10 minutes with increasing resistance after the first 5. Then do the other move for that long. Then spar from that position, all at open mat on your own.

It is the only way. I used to get technical mount arm barred by the same dude half my size every day so I took a lesson on countering the technical mount. Then I used to get reaped and heel hooked by the same dude everytime I was in his guard, so I found a better pass, and I drilled and drilled.

That could be true. He never says much. I had thought he kind of enjoyed the beating the short muscled version of someone in his weight class each day for the confidence.

What you describe there, not sure I could do with my shoulders. Had surgery on one, had a minor slap tear on the other. I don't fully understand what you're describing, but I can't pull in a leg to me like from a sprawl anymore. I basically have to tap to hand position for kimuras and americanas so drawn out escapes like from armbars or triangles aren't on my table. I've just got to not get in the position in the first place.

Getting a counter to how he's sitting in to me and going through my legs... I should ask our instructor or one of the high purples on the more laid back Sat class is they could work me with something there. I'd just been trying to use hip pressure to prevent it but obviously he's still getting there too easily. And once he has his head between my legs I feel as clueless as my first week.

Thanks to both of you

And on the rest, yeah, I think I underestimated just how good a wrestler he was our first few rolls- and that he's had enough time to get a handle on the transition to Bjj. My whole reason for starting Bjj was to be able to beat wrestlers (more self defense orientated back in college), and my game now has a large part of catching wrestlers and it's one thing I like about it, but this guy is just my kryptonite.

 

[IamnotJonFitch]

See, this only bothers me if the guy is a dick about it.

If he's cool and helpful, then deal with it. He's obviously been grappling for years, call it jiu jitsu, wrestling whatever.

There was a guy like this in my last gym, we only rolled a couple times but he was new and he was tapping purples. He said he'd never trained bjj, and was super smug, which was really annoying. Turned out he was currently on the college wrestling team, and had been wrestling his whole life. Figures.

 

[LaBrian]

Stop trying to win the training and you won't be frustrated anymore. Just have fun.

 

[Higus]

Your problem is that you only see him as a white belt, just like you. The truth is he's probably been wrestling since he was in diapers. You are much farther behind him in terms of grappling experience than you think you are.

 

[Panic]

Train.

 

[JustinTime]

Doing some more rehab with your shoulders might be needed. I got Mir locked real nasty once and both my shoulder and elbow popped. That shoulder was terribly susceptible to submissions for a while. Now that I've been working them out more, stretching them, and doing some rotator cuff work it's almost back to where it was before, which I thought would be impossible.

Oh and also what SummerStriker said.

 

[Dirty Holt]

If he is kicking your ass with kimuras from side control, just ask him to start in side control and tell him to try to kimura you as many times as he can. Eventually you will figure out how to defend.

 

[VitorfanBRO]

Ask your professor. If you're in a good gym you'll get good advice. I'm a one strip white belt. And I was rolling with this guy who keeps a killer open guard off his back. I couldn't do shit to this guy. He would control my hips with his feet. And just keep me at bay. Very frustrating. So I was getting frustrated and I just yell out. I say "Professor I need help!" mid roll. I tell him I cant do anything to this guy. What do I do when I'm in this position. And he told me what to do. Don't be afraid to ask the professors for any guidance. I will ask all the time now. I pay 150 a month for my bjj gym. So if you pay a lot as well. Which if you're at a bjj gym worth a damn you do. Ask. Ask. Ask. And even be so bold to have him show you physically. You will improve in time. Trust me. It's just hard to get one up over someone when they've been training longer. Because as you improve. So do they. I wouldnt dwell on it.

 

[Judo Thai Boxer]

My coach, can't touch him standing or on the ground.

Standing I can't even get a grip on him and he'll throw me on his weak side and make a point of telling me that.

Groundwork he shuts everything I do down. In fairness, he's been to BJJ with me before and they have a brown belt who took gold in a European competition and in my coach's own words 'he was alrightish'.

 

[Spiderguard Man]

Tell me more about losing in the gym during training....

 

[Bayonet]

Been trying to keep from getting frustration in the gym, but it's just getting hard so I'm coming here for some words. I've bounced around quite a few gyms the last two years with finishing college and internships. I almost always end up finding someone who is a bit better than me but we have good rolls, and striving to find ways to deal with him and attempt to get to his level or even past. Usually, it doesn't work as we're training the same amount. But it always has felt like a good tool to get better.

Now, maybe the problem is simply that I set my goal too high. The guy is a white belt like me, only started Bjj about a year ago I believe but has a solid wrestling base. 2x state champ winner in HS and did some D2 college stuff. He's the kind of guy I've always felt I'd have to neutralize with my jitz if I ever go into mma. But man if he doesn't beat me every time, and with the same very basic set of moves that leads to him getting a kimura from top half guard or side.

He's 5-1 I believe in amateur mma and is set to make his pro debut soon. Maybe I just got too ambitious seeing a tall lanky 3 strip white belt wrestler my same weight class, and he's just too far out of my league. I easily can accept him being better than me... but it's just a blow when it's this much. Like him tapping me 3-4 times every 5 minute roll and the few times I get on top it doesn't last long as he'll turtle up and get ahold of my legs for a fireman like wrestling something and be back on top content to stay in half guard and start hunting for arms if I try for the underhook.

First off, if you're a white belt getting beaten by a guy who's a state wrestling champ, college wrestler and 5-1 mma fighter, you really have nothing to be ashamed of. You're relying on a year of BJJ, he's got maybe a decade of experience.

Second, it's unhealthy to obsess about beating "that guy". Isolate the problems he gives you and work out solutions for them, but giving yourself fits over whether or not you can finally beat Jimbo is just unnecessary stress.

 

[DoctorTaco]

Talk to him about it. You getting harder to sub only benefits him, so ask him for pointers about staying out of bad positions against him and stopping his favorite sub

 

[HockeyBjj]

First off, if you're a white belt getting beaten by a guy who's a state wrestling champ, college wrestler and 5-1 mma fighter, you really have nothing to be ashamed of. You're relying on a year of BJJ, he's got maybe a decade of experience.

Second, it's unhealthy to obsess about beating "that guy". Isolate the problems he gives you and work out solutions for them, but giving yourself fits over whether or not you can finally beat Jimbo is just unnecessary stress.

I've been a white belt since June of 2012, so it's been a damn while now. bouncing around gyms and not really training in the summers much kept me from any promotion. I think what got me was I just knew he was a wrestler with a year of Bjj when we started rolling, didn't realize just how good a wrestler he was (and with mma fights beyond the scrub level) until later on and it had already seemed like a good different style to test myself against.

And yeah, I'm just adding bad stress and think I've let it go now. Just felt like I wasn't ever improving the past month so I had to vent here a bit. Switching to surviving and learning against him instead of always working for a sweep or sub if on top in rolls with him should help fix these holes instead of just exposing them.