Gf dont want me to werstling with girls in the gym

[Revolver]

from the public Facebook group

lmao @ having to touch these ditch pigs. She's doing you a favor.

 

[KBE6EKCTAH_CCP]

This. Wtf? I mean does she not realize it's BJJ/wrestling and not some sort of sexual romp on a mat? To me it would be extremely creepy of some dude who won't train women but will only train men. To me that would show an extreme level of unprofessionalism and wonder what that guy is thinking about while rolling with me.

TS needs to explain to her it is his job to train anyone who wants training unless they aren't clean or some other issue. Tell her it isn't sexual and that's just the way it is. Plus in 5 years she'll be begging you to get out of the house and roll with whoever you want b/c she'll be sick of you always trying to bang her

That s closed minded. To most people, a man rubbing crouch with a woman whose legs are wrapped around him is very suggestive. Don t pretend.

 

[shunyata]

Joke answer, you may have to convert to Islam to make this work in the gym.

Serious answer, you need to talk to your gf.



The reality is many Americans (and some people in other parts of the world) have seriously twisted views of any type of touch and they'll project sexuality into it. She may also think that massage is automatically sexual and that therapeutic massage isn't real but is always a cover for prostitution.



Years ago there was a gay photographer who got permission to come into some college wrestling practices and take photos that he thought were very erotic because they showcased the male form. From the start of the project he walked in being turned on by and wanted to showcase the (to him) erotic nature of wrestling.

Yes, it's a running joke in bjj and wrestling that hugging sweaty dudes is kind of gay.

But this guy went next level and found observing it as a spectator and photographing it to be very sexual for him.

In the comments on his photos another guy who had actually wrestled and was gay tore the photographer to shreds.

He basically explained that there's nothing sexy or sexual about the actual practice and competition. It's the furthest thing from his mind when he's on the mats. Sexuality is not even on the radar when he's touching team mates and competitors when drilling or going live.

He basically called the photographer a perv and said that what he was doing was the same as a straight photographer drooling and lusting over a women's gymnastic practice, and that forcing sexuality into sport does a great disservice to athletes.



Your girlfriend has some twisted up views about human touch, intimacy, and sexuality. You should probably talk with her and start to unpack that baggage before you get into a marriage.

 

[kimocomplex]

Not very reasonable request imo

 

[Big Dawg]

Then get rid of her, or pin her down.

She seems like the jealous type, not a good thing.

 

[Big Dawg]

Somehow my gf (soon to be wife) knew about me wrestling
With the females in the gym, we had a big argument she was ok with boxing but no bjj or ground stuff.

When I was down on my luck the
gym owner and his wife gave me a job there
It helped get back on feet. Im grateful for them
so I cant be a basterd incel and make that weird request
What to do?

Yo, gf or fiancé?

 

[Billthebutcher]

it's an easy decision if you want the wife life or not.

 

[Otto!]

Hmmm that's a tough one. Maybe post some pics of the girls you are wrestling????? Just trying to help...

I love how you always tackle the real issues!

 

[El Moose]

To me it would be extremely creepy of some dude who won't train women but will only train men. To me that would show an extreme level of unprofessionalism and wonder what that guy is thinking about while rolling with me.

I understand both sides of the argument but it does seem like it's a bit of a tell doesn't it?

 

[Fluffernutter]

Your gf is trying the establish what you can and can't do at work.

Isn't that your boss's responsibility?

FWIW, I've been a wrestling coach for years. That included grappling with women that are trying to improve their bjj. My wife has zero issue with this because she knows it's simply part of my job.

 

[Spounman]

Just tell her that you identify as a woman when you wrestle

 

[THE Red Beard]

I love how you always tackle the real issues!

Honestly, I just want to see some T&A knaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw'm saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayin'????????

 

[Mr Mojo Lane]

Would your GF be there for you if you were down and out? Be honest

 

[fingercuffs]

Somehow my gf (soon to be wife) knew about me wrestling
With the females in the gym, we had a big argument she was ok with boxing but no bjj or ground stuff.

When I was down on my luck the
gym owner and his wife gave me a job there
It helped get back on feet. Im grateful for them
so I cant be a basterd incel and make that weird request
What to do?

Is this your wife?

 

[Vil7]

Somehow my gf (soon to be wife) knew about me wrestling
With the females in the gym, we had a big argument she was ok with boxing but no bjj or ground stuff.

When I was down on my luck the
gym owner and his wife gave me a job there
It helped get back on feet. Im grateful for them
so I cant be a basterd incel and make that weird request
What to do?

Explain to her that BJJ is completely non-sexual nature & the goal is self defense & not to sexually pleasure the opponent and/or give them an orgasm. Also explain to her that you are helping those women learn to defend against a male or female attacker or rapist. In addition tell her that you are helping the women become more fit and giving them a better sense of self-esteem and confidence.

Hey I know it sounds cynical but possibly anticipate your soon to be wife to have some emotional or not logically sound rebuttal to the arguments I presented. Also, if she is controlling & not understanding in this situation I would really keep an eye on her behavior & possibly not marry her. I'm not you, I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but take it as a red flag or warning signal. Best of luck to you I hope she understands. (If this is a troll job you tricked me, & I don't appreciate it).

 

[Vil7]

Is this your wife?

God I hope not, that is 1 ugly woman.

 

[fingercuffs]

Seriously though, @KOPPE
If she's having a problem with this WHEN IT'S YOUR JOB and you don't put your foot down now, Imagine how under the thumb you're going to be after the honeymoon?

 

[Vil7]

Cheat on your future wife with a male student to put her in her place

Damn my response was level 30. Yours was Level 42. You win.

 

[William Huggins]

Hmmm that's a tough one. Maybe post some pics of the girls you are wrestling????? Just trying to help...

Maybe that isn't a good idea........

 

[Alphaboy]

Funny, my coworker (female) was looking for a spot to get into bjj. I brought her to a dojo with me, my wife requested she does not roll with me... which was weird because I've rolled with women millions of times and this one was more like a sister to me.

I think my coworker got a tad bit offended.

In any case, it's no big deal. Yeah, you're all tangled up and crap, but when the fighting starts you switch to "fight mode"... especially if she is skilled.