How to deal with insecure, working class service people?

[Oblivian]

I direct you to a related thread.

http://forums.sherdog.com/threads/when-you’re-smart-enough-to-know-that-you’re-the-problem.3851243/

 

[SSgt Dickweed]

"Explain that"

As if we're supposed to know what you really do or think.

But based on the OP, it's seems that you having mental issues is very likely.

You give out "mental issues" , "see a psychiatrist" right away. That's just dumb. If you can't explain the behavior of the person I literally described, what makes you qualified to say that shit?

And thankfully other posters actually understand what I am talking about. No thanks to your nonsense advice.

OP, the issue might be you whether it's your personality or perception of the situation. We've all had bad service regardless of income. It's part of dealing with others. The best thing that you can do is either call them out on it when it happens or move on and find a new place to spend your money at.

I had horrible service at an auto parts store. It was the same Eminem looking white kid on more than one occasion. He was an asshole to white people and tried to be cool and super nice to blacks. It was weird and off-putting to say the least. I brought it up to the manager and was told others had recently mentioned the same issue. The manager ended up firing his ass. Problem solved.

Yeah, that seems the proper solution to it. It's just frustrating to go to a store after you're tired from work and again your stress levels get activated again.

 

[mjmj]

TS's username seems accurate.

 

[SSgt Dickweed]

I like you, TS, but this kind of smacks of one of those threads where a guy complains about being so good looking that women are intimidated by him.

Definitely not that case. I am shy around women. I don't project that I'm Mr. Lover Boy or anything. When I get complimented about my looks, I make a cheesy joke like "I get a lot of movie offers" or something silly like that.

You sound like a snob. That's probably why people treat you worse when they know you better. Stop acting superior.

I am snobbish, but I definitely don't act like I am superior to them. Like the other poster suggested about perception, I may perceive them as antagonizing me when they're not. But they also may be perceiving that I am snobbish but I really am just a wallflower type.

 

[Sansnom]

You give out "mental issues" , "see a psychiatrist" right away. That's just dumb. If you can't explain the behavior of the person I literally described, what makes you qualified to say that shit?

And thankfully other posters actually understand what I am talking about. No thanks to your nonsense advice.



Yeah, that seems the proper solution to it. It's just frustrating to go to a store after you're tired from work and again your stress levels get activated again.

Because it was already super obvious from your post that the issue was really with you, not with them.

If everyone from the staff acts like that towards you, then it's time to question yourself.

You already admitted being very snobbish which was already very obvious. You probably give off a shitty vibe and that's why you often encounter these types of situations.

If you want to help yourself, you might want to start wondering "What's the problem with me?" Instead of assuming everyone else is the problem which is very unlikely.

So like I said, you do have mental issues which need to be worked on.

 

[The Talent]

I am snobbish

Why are you snobbish? And in what way? This is a legit question, not an attack

 

[Organic Damage]

Definitely not that case. I am shy around women. I don't project that I'm Mr. Lover Boy or anything. When I get complimented about my looks, I make a cheesy joke like "I get a lot of movie offers" or something silly like that.



I am snobbish, but I definitely don't act like I am superior to them. Like the other poster suggested about perception, I may perceive them as antagonizing me when they're not. But they also may be perceiving that I am snobbish but I really am just a wallflower type.

Gotcha. I used to get this reaction for the same reason.

 

[SSgt Dickweed]

Why are you snobbish? And in what way? This is a legit question, not an attack

I am introverted by nature. At work, I mostly keep to myself. I usually don't start a conversation to socialize. My self designated role in social interactions is to be "the funny guy" / make silly jokes. I don't make jokes attacking other people.

I am not the type of guy who wears designer clothes or jewelry, but like I said in the OP, if I dress up nice, I might look like I'm very wealthy or something. My parents have money but they're not driving around in BMW's or anything. I get mistaken that I come from a family with that kind of wealth, so when I don't talk to people out out introversion, they might seem like I am looking down on them but I'm not.

 

[Which Doctor]

I am introverted by nature. At work, I mostly keep to myself. I usually don't start a conversation to socialize. My self designated role in social interactions is to be "the funny guy" / make silly jokes. I don't make jokes attacking other people.

I am not the type of guy who wears designer clothes or jewelry, but like I said in the OP, if I dress up nice, I might look like I'm very wealthy or something. My parents have money but they're not driving around in BMW's or anything. I get mistaken that I come from a family with that kind of wealth, so when I don't talk to people out out introversion, they might seem like I am looking down on them but I'm not.

You're BJ Penn; you're supposed to know how to handle this.

 

[Only Here for Attachments]

Take a shot every time TS posts the word "I"

 

[minute bull]

NPD is likely.

Neil Patrick Dickcarousel?

 

[moreorless87]

You're BJ Penn; you're supposed to know how to handle this.

Make them look like fools for a few mins arguing but then tire mentally and concede their point?

 

[The Talent]

I am introverted by nature. At work, I mostly keep to myself. I usually don't start a conversation to socialize. My self designated role in social interactions is to be "the funny guy" / make silly jokes. I don't make jokes attacking other people.

I am not the type of guy who wears designer clothes or jewelry, but like I said in the OP, if I dress up nice, I might look like I'm very wealthy or something. My parents have money but they're not driving around in BMW's or anything. I get mistaken that I come from a family with that kind of wealth, so when I don't talk to people out out introversion, they might seem like I am looking down on them but I'm not.

Thank you. This helps.

Typically, when people identify frequent inadequacies in others, it's usually a learned behavior that's ingrained before or around the age of 12. When you were young, did you experience family members that exhibited this type of social intolerance and lack of empathy? Could be a parent, relative, or someone that you really respected.

 

[Pugilistic]

There is only on appropriate answer to any of this

Spoiler

 

[Which Doctor]

Make them look like fools for a few mins arguing but then tire mentally and concede their point?

Naw. Those guys are (or act like, whatever Dickweed said) rednecks, so knock one out like he was Matt Hughes.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

I'm chucking this one up to projection. I find it very unlikely that every member of staff, at every establishment, thinks like this about you. What's more likely is you don't like/mistrust these people, and a result you come off standoff-ish, arrogant or rude in your body language and behaviour towards them, they pick up on this and react accordingly - strengthening your initial belief that they were jealous and hostile towards you.

Nailed it. I have never had an issue with service workers taking out their insecurity on me. And I am bigly rich.

 

[SSgt Dickweed]

Nailed it. I have never had an issue with service workers taking out their insecurity on me. And I am bigly rich.

Do you look physically imposing? I think that has a lot to do with it. I look like I should be part of a boy band or something, hence the "bullying".

 

[moreorless87]

Naw. Those guys are (or act like, whatever Dickweed said) rednecks, so knock one out like he was Matt Hughes.

Spilt a rib laughing at them then get out of breath and loose the argument?

Honestly whilst I'v not naturally aggressive I don't have too much trouble moving between different social groups, unless someone is either really argumentative or starts showing some clear bigotry I generally seem to manage to get along well enough. The key really is to try and read what someones actually going to be interested in, talk about football and the merits of various female celebrites bottoms with one person, talk about French new wave cinema or hotel recommendations on the Amafali coast with someone else.

Especially so since I'v been selling my photography and being able to hold a conservation comfortably with a wide cross section of people is important. Someone might w

 

[Which Doctor]

Spilt a rib laughing at them then get out of breath and loose the argument?

BJ Penn is undefeated.

 

[MadSquabbles500]

I have noticed lately, that I am really bothered by working class service people. It's almost as if they go out of their way to annoy me, because they are insecure with the disparity of status between us.

I find this true for a bunch of different settings: hardware stores, car service stations, gentleman clubs. I find in these establishment, I would get poorer treatment the longer I frequent those places. Thinking about it, if I am at those places the first few times, I don't get bothered too much. But when my face becomes familiar to the crew, they start "accidentally" bumping into me, talking loud behind my back, ignore me when it's my turn to pay in the counter.

The more I think about it, it is because they feel insecure that I can frequent the establishments they work in, when they can't afford it. This is especially true for guys (different races and nationalities). They always seem to be overweight guys who talk loud. It's like they try to hide their own insecurity by making their presence felt by doing all these schoolyard bully tactics while they are attending to my needs, which is just weird. For example, I could be in the car shop asking a mechanic about aluminum rims, and he would go "that's chrome", giving off a 'you don't know that, dork?' vibe. And then before I leave, they'd ask for a tip giving a "I got a family to feed" look.

I am a very non-threatening looking, baby faced, skinny guy who looks good enough to be in a commercial or TV show. I don't act like a hotshot, but I suppose if I dress good enough, I would have a 'presence'. I may give off a vibe that I went to private schools all my life, and my folks paid a lot of money for dentists and doctors (all true).

This makes me a target for these fat-ass rednecks who think: "I can only dream of having what he has", even though I've had a string of bad luck in my career, and just as unhappy with my job as they are. Wtf is wrong with these assholes? Can't they leave me alone while I get a lapdance?

Cliffs:
-I am a pampered, beta-looking dude
-Insecure service people like to "bully" me while they serve me
-I am fed up with it
-Is this all just in my head?

I only know who we shall deal with the shadow banking industry people. We put them all in concentration camps, and after languishing for a while, we tell them we will give them all a nice hot communal shower.

I kid, I kid, relax, dont get all worked up.