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(TLDR; My sister in law spoils her dog and is borderline crazy) So my wife and I live with her sister in a large house. I must say I am black, they are white (I usually would not bring this up, but maybe it'll give some context regarding cultural differences).
Her sister has a dog and we have a dog we got about 2 years ago.
Outside of people who beat up and starve their dogs, she has got to be one of the WORST pet owners I have ever seen!
Back story... she adopted her dog back in 2014. She claims he is a rescue that was abused... (I suspect closer to neglected, basically an old man kept him cooped up in a cage all day and paid him no mind). As a result this makes her feel guilty whenever she has to discipline him... so she doesn't.
Now our dog, we had since she was a puppy (a bit too young actually). We took her out frequently, we train her, she is intelligent, she is even good enough to walk off leash.
Sister in law's dog cannot walk off leash, if he ever gets off leash he books it! He cannot be around other dogs because he will get aggressive. Her nervous, worrisome energy doesn't help. So you can see the contrast between our 2 dogs.
Her dog does NOT listen to her at all! If he is on the couch, she will beg him for legit several minutes to get off, nudging him gently while smiling like an idiot. He ignores her then she says: "poor thing thinks he's in trouble!"
If she wants him to follow her upstairs she will repeatedly say "come on... come on... come on... come on... come on..." A good dozen or so times in a baby voice while he ignores her. If he decides not to follow, she'll just walk away without him listening, which any dog owner will tell you is BAAAAD. If you are driving with him in a car, he will keep trying to get to the front no matter how many times you push him back or command him not to.
The other night my wife and I were sleeping and heard stomping several times. Wanna know what it was? The sister in law's crazy ass kept running up and down the stairs so he could become playful and follow her upstairs. Can you imagine running up and down a flight of steps just to get your dog to do ONE *BEEP*in command?
I peak my head out the door and ask her in an annoyed voice: "what are you doing?!" She pretended not to hear me.
He will take food from her hand.
He barks loudly and startles everyone randomly.
He steals food out of the garbage so she has to keep the garbage can locked up in the bathroom when we are all at work... He eats cat shit from the kitty litter and cat food so the house is basically "baby-proofed" because of him. He's gotten so bad now, that he tries to steal food off of counters.
My wife and I (especially me) are the only ones who discipline his ass. So when she is not around, he behaves better, as soon as the sister-in-law comes in, a switch goes off and he becomes an asshole.
Sister-in-law has a living room on her side and we have one near ours. Ironically enough, her dog always wants to be with US the "mean ones". Not the ones who spoil him and kiss his ass, the ones who provide discipline. I usually don't want him anywhere near me because 1. He misbehaves and 2. If he isn't going to be trained I refuse to be his "surrogate" dog daddy. However, she will come over to our side to kiss him repeatedly while he ignores her. He does not even greet her when she comes back from work (our dog actually is excited to see her).
Now here is the kicker... Everything she does is a tit-for-tat crap. Now I don't know if it was some childhood crap going on between the sisters but check this out: If I decide to take my dog out to play with a frisbee, she will take her dog out with a leash. My wife and I take BOTH DOGS for walks in the back trail - there are 2 of us and 2 dogs, so why not? She NEVER takes her dog out because she is always working overtime (which I understand) or if she isn't working, she has to be painting, or building something, or vacuuming, basically she can't sit still for the life of her. However, the MOMENT we take our dog out to do something fun she'll stop everything she is doing to take her dog out (remember, she can't take her dog to dog parks like us because of aggression that she fed into). If our dog does a trick and gets treats, she has to get treats for her dog too. It is aggravating. She is competitive and tit for tat in regards to crap that does not matter, but I wish she were competitive when it came to things like having her dog behave, or do tricks, or be obedient, but she doesn't care about that... It's just "their dog goes on a walk for 5 minutes 30 seconds, I must take mine out for 5 minutes and 31 seconds.
Even the dog trainer realizes how terrible she is.
She and I butt heads often and there is absolutely NO reasoning with her. As much of a pushover as she is with the dog, she can be kinda cold with humans... go figure.
I suspect she is crazy (I use the term colloquially) and annoying af.
I think your problem is having an adult living in your home