I have to roast battle seven people tonight.

[AgonyandIrony]

An obese guy, a trans woman, this creepy joke stealing bisexual, Tulsa's best comic (black dude with dreads), a girl I used to bang, a biker pastor, and the guy who puts together the big comedy festival here.

Frankly I didn't ask to be on it or he getting roasted but the promoter made the event without asking so here I am.

I was lucky enough to open for Conor MacSpadden three times when he was on tour and he's on Comedy Centrals Roast Battles so I learned a bit from him.

My biggest concern is getting flustered or freezing up. I don't expect to win all of them but I don't want to get utterly humiliated.

Any tips for keeping your cool in tense situations?

 

[Cool Hand Luke]

make fun of them relentlessly - as offensive as possible.

 

[AgonyandIrony]

make fun of them relentlessly - as offensive as possible.

Oh I plan on going all out. Attacking the obese guy about his weight and his divorce is going to be easy, the trans person is probably going to cry and the weirdo joke thief is going to get murdered.

One thing I know is if I go on the defensive I've basically lost so I'm considering just tuning out completely when they're roasting me and concentrating on my next roast.

 

[SammyPops]

Whatever roast battle is code for, just be sure to wear a condom and try to top as much as you can.

 

[milliniar]

Smoke the roast.

 

[FootstompShonie]

Most of the guys seem pretty easy to roast, black dude with dreads is an easy target for making fun of the fact it means absolutely nothing to be the "best comic in Tulsa" that's like being the funniest guy in the special ed class.

 

[Fugazy]

Leave the trans person alone if you ever plan on making it big.

 

[touchedbyjab]

Low and slow... add a tablespoon of worcheshire.

 

[Joe Wong]

@AgonyandIrony the black dude with dreads is gonna be like "Agony & Irony looks like a fuckin poor mans conor mcghallagher" and everyone is gonna start laughing.

You have a comeback prepared for that bro?

 

[Jellis31]

Assuming you are a white male that is not obese you can always go back to that. "You may win this roast battle but look at you (insert disparaging comment here) you lost at life".

 

[DevilsLettuce]

An obese guy, a trans woman, this creepy joke stealing bisexual, Tulsa's best comic (black dude with dreads), a girl I used to bang, a biker pastor, and the guy who puts together the big comedy festival here.

Frankly I didn't ask to be on it or he getting roasted but the promoter made the event without asking so here I am.

I was lucky enough to open for Conor MacSpadden three times when he was on tour and he's on Comedy Centrals Roast Battles so I learned a bit from him.

My biggest concern is getting flustered or freezing up. I don't expect to win all of them but I don't want to get utterly humiliated.

Any tips for keeping your cool in tense situations?

You need to do a bunch of jokes calling the pastor out as a S&M biker pedophile.

 

[BisexualMMA]

Did any of them go to Cranbrook?

 

[mushishi]

Mom's spaghetti.

 

[AgonyandIrony]

@AgonyandIrony the black dude with dreads is gonna be like "Agony & Irony looks like a fuckin poor mans conor mcghallagher" and everyone is gonna start laughing.

You have a comeback prepared for that bro?

"Dreads goes out of his way to look like Future but I've heard his material and he's clearly living in the past"

"Some people say black dudes with dreads look like predator and I agree, he looks like a sexual predator"

"Dreads talks real hood for a guy who mostly hangs out with chubby white dudes"

Assuming you are a white male that is not obese you can always go back to that. "You may win this roast battle but look at you (insert disparaging comment here) you lost at life".

My opener for him is going to be " this may be his first battle, but his next and last will be the battle against heart failure"

 

[AgonyandIrony]

Leave the trans person alone if you ever plan on making it big.

This is the dude on Comedy Central I opened up for. His roast of the trans Vietnamese person is brutal.

You need to do a bunch of jokes calling the pastor out as a S&M biker pedophile.

He's actually the one dude I've never seen do stand up before so roasting him is really tricky. I plan on doing a play on that cheesy footprints thing.

 

[Roca]

Just take your dick out. You won't win the battle but at least you'll make everyone laugh.

 

[DevilsLettuce]

This is the dude on Comedy Central I opened up for. His roast of the trans Vietnamese person is brutal.


He's actually the one dude I've never seen do stand up before so roasting him is really tricky. I plan on doing a play on that cheesy footprints thing.

What's the cheesy footprints thing? Find a good way to call him a pedophile dude. It'll be hilarious.

 

[Roca]

Invite an audience member on stage and then push them down

 

[TheNinja]

"Dreads goes out of his way to look like Future but I've heard his material and he's clearly living in the past"

"Some people say black dudes with dreads look like predator and I agree, he looks like a sexual predator"

"Dreads talks real hood for a guy who mostly hangs out with chubby white dudes"



My opener for him is going to be " this may be his first battle, but his next and last will be the battle against heart failure"

LOL - Those are actually really funny..lol

 

[DrDune]

@AgonyandIrony the black dude with dreads is gonna be like "Agony & Irony looks like a fuckin poor mans conor mcghallagher" and everyone is gonna start laughing.

You have a comeback prepared for that bro?

The 8 mile route, of course.

"So I'm Irish, eh? That's ok, you look like a fuckin worm with braids".