I'm losing the love of my life

I think it's safe to say if you were constantly having fights she probably isn't the one.
 
blaseblase said:
I think it's safe to say if you were constantly having fights she probably isn't the one.
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Or she was instigating them. Or it was just a manifestation of both parties frustration with the situation. Impossible to tell, from an outsider perspective.
 
gspieler said:
Or she was instigating them. Or it was just a manifestation of both parties frustration with the situation. Impossible to tell, from an outsider perspective.
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If she's instigating them she's not the one either. People who genuinely enjoy each other's company dont constantly argue.
 
Ballsaque said:
So, sob story incoming:
In the heart of a bustling city, I met a girl. She was French, and her culture are very different to my own. Our connection grew swiftly, moving from a dates to cohabiting in what felt like the blink of an eye.

She had a strong character and principles that fascinated me. It was her unwavering beliefs and sense of self that attracted me to her. As I got to know her better, I realized that her unique perspective on life was something I admired. We both had a shared vision of building a future together, and our bond made me certain that she was the one I wanted to marry.
We also became business partners, founding companies together. We believed in our shared dreams and thought we could make something extraordinary together.
However, over time, there was a shift in our relationship. Our intimacy, once a deep and passionate connection started to vein. I was working a lot, and when we were home, we were "together without being togeher." I take full responsibility for that. But we grew distant, our once sex life and intimacy dwindled to almost nothing.
I thought we could overcome this challenge, but as weeks turned into months, the gap between us grew wider. I could no longer ignore the growing distance. Frustration and confusion began to eat away at me, and I made the mistake of trying to force a solution. I didn't understand her point of view, and I demanded that she stop her withdrawal, without fully comprehending what was bothering her.
I have always told her I would marry her and we would have children, but I kept saying not before this barrier between us was overcome.
Tensions mounted, and we had our share of heated arguments during this time. The breaking point came during a particularly intense argument. We were at a concert, and could barely hug or talk to each other. I told her I was leaving and I couldnt do this anymore.
She moved out to live somewhere else for now. I know this has been eating away at her, she has lost a lot of weight lately.
We met, and she expressed that she wanted to try to 'break up' and then keep the contact to see if we can regain the spark. As in, we wouldnt not be seeing other people, but have some distance from each other for some time. That is obviously a very painful arrangement. But I have respected and honoured it so far, only checking in with her rarely and sending her pictures of our cat. I believe I have to let her have space for now (When we blew up at each other in the past, it could take me 3 hours to get fine again, and her 3 days. That is how she functions.)
I believe that we "lost" the spark, because we moved in with each other too quickly, and we both took each other for granted, because we had a feeling early on that it was us agains the world.
I have throught deeply about this, and I am sure my behaviour has pushed her away. I have taken her, and our intimacy for granted. This girl is the real deal, and I intend to remedy the situaiton and marry her. Everyone is pales in comparison to her.

I dont know why I wrote all this, but perhaps my Sherbrehs can lend some advice. My strategy for now is to respect the arrangement. When the time is right, I will invite her out again, with the mindset that I am meeting her for the first time.

Inb4 youre a oneitis bitch, shes piping someone else, did she at least get you and ipad, etc.
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You admired her? LOL. You young guys are so fucking clueless.

She doesn’t want to be admired, she wants to be dominated.

I’m going to give you some free love advice. Take it. Every woman dreams of being dominated by a strong man.

I don’t mean they want to be hit or abused, or they want a jealous, insecure husband.

They just want a man who takes control and tells them what to do so they don’t have to worry about dumb shit. For example, don’t ask her what is for dinner, tell her what is for dinner. (That she cooks, not you asshole!)

Her opinions on politics, philosophy, religion, or any other major issue of the day is uninformed, irrelevant, and unimportant. And you should never delude her into thinking her opinions on these things are valid or desirable. They aren’t.

The faster you can mold her into what she truly wants to be, which is a domesticated 1950’s housewife, the happier she’ll be and the happier you’ll be.

Go read a Reddit sub forum dedicated to pregnancy and rape fetishes. It’s filled with strong wahmen and pathetic girl bosses all creaming their panties about how they just want to be dominated and impregnated by a strong man, not worshipped by some weak male feminist cuck.

Just my advice. Take it and be happy or don’t.
 
Sweater of AV said:
Here's a wild idea. Have you actually told her what you just wrote?
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I was thinking something similar too. @Ballsaque You write in the OP about what you think might be the reason why you drifted apart and so on. I'm wondering if you ever asked her or if you guys communicated about what wasn't working and why.

Jeg mener, at du var dansk. Har i fået det hele ud på bordet og haft en reel samtale om hvorfor det ikke fungerede?
 
Your relationship didn’t lose its spark because you moved in together too soon. It lost its spark because you and this woman aren’t compatible long-term and that is the natural conclusion to almost every romantic relationship. Putting a ring on her finger or adding children to the equation won’t change this underlying truth.
 
You should post her contact info on here so the resident Shertherapists can hear her side of the story and find a possible path to reconciliation.
 
You split up bit you're not allowed to see other people?

Dude, you need to disregard that agreement immediately. I PROMISE you that she's looking for someone better, and this is her way of keeping you in backup status if she can't find anyone better.

I had someone try this with me once and I just said you're either with me or you're not, and if you're not, then I'm moving on. In that case she wound up staying, but I was fully prepared to move on if she left. Would've been sad but nothing's sadder than being someone's backup.
 
Sometimes shit doesn’t work out. Better to know sooner than later. It sounds like she fell out of love with you. And why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t love you as much as you love them? So cut your losses and enjoy being single. You’ll find someone. Everyone thinks it’s the end of the world when the girl they think they’re in love with dumps them. It isn’t. There are so many other girls out there. You will find someone who is even better for you eventually. Until then, enjoy banging the ones who aren’t.
 
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