Inheritance

[moreorless87]

My mother always told me "You don't live in a dead man's shoes." I've internalized this message. I could stand to inherit a great deal but, really, this is something someone else has earned. I don't believe I deserve any of it in virtue of some happenstance genetic tie. I've told her to enjoy her retirement after my father passes away, and I hope she does. If I get something it's not something I earned, so I'll thank my lucky stars, but I won't expect it.

Also, I don't buy the "I don't expect help." You say that while simultaneously saying "I am angry that I am not being given help because in that situation I would give help" and laying it on pretty thick that you think it's the right thing to do. So, basically, you "don't expect help" but you seem to be strongly suggesting that it's wrong that you're not getting it.

As for you, reason through your sense of entitlement to this money and figure out why you feel so entitled. That might help you resolve this issue.

I think you should send a message to be written out of any will at once and post a copy of it on Sherdog for us.

 

[plataoplombo]

Word of advice, see if you can buy the rental from her. Work out whatever deal you can. Real estate is one of the quickest ways of accumulating wealth. Oh, you also gotta make that boyfriend disappear.

 

[moreorless87]

Word of advice, see if you can buy the rental from her. Work out whatever deal you can. Real estate is one of the quickest ways of accumulating wealth. Oh, you also gotta make that boyfriend disappear.

Without knowing the exact situation it does seem potentially likely he's a gold digger who's blowing though her money before potentially leaving her in the lurch.

I mean I'v less sympathy for this kind of thing when it comes to the ultra rich like that Anna Nicole Smith situation as everyone involved in that was already comfortably wealthy but taking a dead man/womans money away from their children who need it is one of the scummiest things you can do.

 

[Not A Theist]

I think you should send a message to be written out of any will at once and post a copy of it on Sherdog for us.

No, I don't think I should.

 

[plataoplombo]

Without knowing the exact situation it does seem potentially likely he's a gold digger who's blowing though her money before potentially leaving her in the lurch.

Yeah, I'm sure she wants to live a little, but the dude probably isn't helping.

 

[Yunes]

So when my dad died he left everything to my mom and nothing really for us kids.

My dad was the earner in the family.
I think he probably assumed my mom would take care of everyone in terms of inheritance one day.

Well, soon after my dad died, my mom got a new boyfriend and shes just blowing through all the money.

Expensive trips multiple times a year, expensive dinners, drinking, retired 5 years early after only working part time for years before that, cosmetic surgeries, brand new suv etc.

She sold her house and is buying a new one with the boyfriend.

By the time shes gone, everything our family has ever worked for will be sold off for vacations etc.

No money left for us, nothing to really give to the next generation.

Me and one of my sisters struggle. I dont drive and I sacrifice a lot just to get by. My sister has a partner but they are even worse off than me.

Even though its not my money, I get angry watching my mom waste all my dads money. She gave us a few thousand after he died but not much.
She pretty much kept it all.

She did make upgrades to our rental house where I live, but she hired her new boyfriends pals, they did shit work and its all crumbling apart.
I told her to hire a pro but she wouldnt listen.

I cant help but be angry. My sisters tell my mom to blow all the money and she deserves it. How does she "deserve" to blow all my dads money on herself?

None of my siblings are having kids, and im the only one who was interested. Our family line ends with me now.

The thing is, im not having a kid and having to start our entire family wealth from scratch.

In a few years our family wealth will be gone because my mom is spending it all. Its only a matter of time before she sells the rental for more vacation time and Ill have to look for a new place. She wants to sell it now.

I just think how differently I would act in the same situation. I would help my
struggling kids.

Now I dont expect help, but I just cant help but notice the difference in mentality.

Do you think its fine that she basically spent everything our family line has ever worked for, for generations, on herself?

My sisters seem to think it is. I think its fucking ridiculous.

Again, im not expecting a handout and if I never get a dime so be it, I just think its fucked to do that.

Opinions?

This may be the disorder in me but when something like this happens where my opinion differs from the rest of the family, i pull way back..no communiction ect. See you when i see you fuckers. Since were all doing whatever makes ourselves happy then I'm happier without you cunts. You kind of have to be a sociopath to pull it off though.

 

[Treeloy]

Sad , common story, the problem started with your dad, he unfortunately did not have the insight to ensure you kids would be cared for.

Nothing to do but move on, make a good life for yourself, and don’t spend any energy on carrying grudges and having resentments...Good Luck.

I just want to point out its not really about the money to me, its about doing the right thing.

If I never get a dime so be it.

Lets put me in my moms position for a minute. Lets say my wife died and Ive come in to a lot of money.

You think im going to buy expensive SUVs and book expensives trips accross europe?

Lets say I know my kid is struggling. I can buy the 40k SUV or I can buy a 20k car which will be just fine, and give 20k to my son or daughter, an amount more than they have ever had and will drastically impact the quality of their life 10x over, changing their life forever.

What do you think I would choose? Im going to help my kid every time. The satisfaction of helping someone close to me would bring me more joy than any vacation ever could.

Thats just my perspective.

For me, I could never even imagine selling off all the family assets for vacations etc. How fucking selfish could I be? Its basically the most selfish thing anyone can do imo.

So, I just see things a little differently

 

[moreorless87]

No, I don't think I should.

Just pointing out your post seems rather hypocritical knowing your probably going to inherit a lot of money, easy to say you don't mind if its gone, hard to actually do so.

 

[Alphaboy]

I just want to point out its not really about the money to me, its about doing the right thing.

If I never get a dime so be it.

Lets put me in my moms position for a minute. Lets say my wife died and Ive come in to a lot of money.

You think im going to buy expensive SUVs and book expensives trips accross europe?

Lets say I know my kid is struggling. I can buy the 40k SUV or I can buy a 20k car which will be just fine, and give 20k to my son or daughter, an amount more than they have ever had and will drastically impact the quality of their life 10x over, changing their life forever.

What do you think I would choose? Im going to help my kid every time. The satisfaction of helping someone close to me would bring me more joy than any vacation ever could.

Thats just my perspective.

For me, I could never even imagine selling off all the family assets for vacations etc. How fucking selfish could I be? Its basically the most selfish thing anyone can do imo.

So, I just see things a little differently

From my perspective she sounds a little selfish, especially the "got a bf quick" part is a bit off-putting. However, this could be a strange way of mourning so who are any of us to judge.

 

[Not A Theist]

I just want to point out its not really about the money to me, its about doing the right thing.

If I never get a dime so be it.

Ha ha ha... "It's not about money for me. I don't care if I ever get a dime. That being said, the right thing is giving me money." *following long winded explanation for why the money should go to him, because it's just the right thing to do - but he doesn't care about the money*

Do you realize how entitled you sound in the face of maybe not being able to cash that genetic lottery ticket?

 

[genecop]

I understand what your saying, and yes it is selfish on her part big time, but to say it’s not about the money is not honest, because if there was no $, this situation would not exist..

 

[Not A Theist]

Just pointing out your post seems rather hypocritical knowing your probably going to inherit a lot of money.

No. If I get my way I won't. My parents are 15 years apart. As my father becomes more and more of an old man requiring increasing care, my mother has to give up more and more of her time - and in doing so her hopes, aspirations, and ambitions - to essentially act as a nursemaid. She has acted to earn the money that her partner amassed over the years - meanwhile, I have already benefited from it as someone who won the genetic lottery and landed in the family. I benefited from it just for being born in this family - she has worked, and continues to work, to earn that money.

As such, I'm strongly pushing her to spend the money she can to enjoy her eventual retirement and do things for her as she goes. Another trip to Europe, she wants to visit Vegas and the grand canyon, do some bridge cruises and... Who knows? It's her money. She earned it. I didn't.

I may inherit money and I'll be thankful if I do - but I recognize that I am not entitled to it. I won't try and dress any entitlement I may have as some conveniently self-serving morality as I try and claw out a portion of money I didn't earn.

 

[TeTe]

Sounds familiar, only it was my grandparents that left a bunch of money to mom and her siblings. I didn't expect to get anything, but it still pissed me off watching her blow through $150,000 in relatively short time, mostly on drugs. Wasn't surprised really, given her history.

I was fortunate though that she did give me a small portion of it to pay off some of my debts and couple semesters of tuition at school. Again, regardless of what she gave me, it sucked watching her piss that money away on partying for a year and half. This is someone who never works and could have at least had some good backup for the rest of her life.

Such is life I suppose. You just got move on and not harbor resentment over it. Because like everyone else has said, it wasn't your money to begin with. It would have been wise to distribute it better but maybe you dad had other intentions.

 

[Wrath of Foamy]

I see where you are coming from.

To give money is to show that you care, so by your Mum spending all of the inherited money on herself, it seems like she doesn’t really care about you.

You don’t want to ask your Mum for anything, and you don’t like the idea of sponging, but families naturally help each other in need, right?

That is what we have drilled into our heads all throughout our lives, that nothing is more important than family.

But because your mother is spending all of the inheritance on herself and her new boyfriend, you are further down the list than, by your own morality and opinion of family, you should be, right?

 

[Treeloy]

Ha ha ha... "It's not about money for me. I don't care if I ever get a dime. That being said, the right thing is giving me money." *following long winded explanation for why the money should go to him, because it's just the right thing to do - but he doesn't care about the money*

Do you realize how entitled you sound in the face of maybe not being able to cash that genetic lottery ticket?

No, youre just not understanding. Lets say I was well off and my sister was struggling. I would fully expect my mom to help my sister out, and not me, because that is whats right imo.

As a parent, how can you indulge in lavish vacations and expensive outgoings when you have a child that is barely scraping by? Its a matter of priority. Is a vacation more important than your son/daughters well being?

These are my morals, so I apply them to other people.

I just cant understand the mindset of wanting to sell everything for your own personal enjoyment.

 

[TheWobbler]

Sounds like your mum is enjoying life. Why make shit tons of cash if you can't enjoy it. Did they spend like crazy when your dad was alive?

I have never asked for anything of my mum since i started working which was 16 and Ive told her to spend her money and enjoy it because its the right thing to do.

I know I will get the house and I will rent it out when I do but keep it in the family so my kids will get it after I go.

Does your mum have a will that leaves everything to you?

 

[Oblivian]

She already gave you a few thousand that she didn't have to. How old are you now? Honestly, your priorities seem so fucked. I tried telling you this before.

 

[Not A Theist]

No, youre just not understanding. Lets say I was well off and my sister was struggling. I would fully expect my mom to help my sister out, and not me, because that is whats right imo.

As a parent, how can you indulge in lavish vacations and expensive outgoings when you have a child that is barely scraping by? Its a matter of priority. Is a vacation more important than your son/daughters well being?

These are my morals, so I apply them to other people.

I just cant understand the mindset of wanting to sell everything for your own personal enjoyment.

Oh, yeah, the moral thing to do would be to give your mom's money to your sister... Of course none will go to you *wink wink*

The problem with claims like this is that your supposed moral altruism will most likely end up with you getting a big fat paycheque out of it as your mom is guilted into not spending her money on herself, and instead saving it for your sister *wink wink*. I can't help but raising an eyebrow at a someone who preaches a morality on the grounds of it being good for other people when they will most likely get a big payday out of it.

 

[Clippy]

Have you tried McDonald's new Fish and Chips? I bet that would cheer you up.

How can you not love this guy?

 

[moreorless87]

No. If I get my way I won't. My parents are 15 years apart. As my father becomes more and more of an old man requiring increasing care, my mother has to give up more and more of her time - and in doing so her hopes, aspirations, and ambitions - to essentially act as a nursemaid. She has acted to earn the money that her partner amassed over the years - meanwhile, I have already benefited from it as someone who won the genetic lottery and landed in the family. I benefited from it just for being born in this family - she has worked, and continues to work, to earn that money.

As such, I'm strongly pushing her to spend the money she can to enjoy her eventual retirement and do things for her as she goes. Another trip to Europe, she wants to visit Vegas and the grand canyon, do some bridge cruises and... Who knows? It's her money. She earned it. I didn't.

I may inherit money and I'll be thankful if I do - but I recognize that I am not entitled to it. I won't try and dress any entitlement I may have as some conveniently self-serving morality as I try and claw out a portion of money I didn't earn.

Theres a difference between telling someone to not to live a frugal life so everything can be handed down though and being in a situation where it looks pretty certain nothing will be with potential manipulation by another party.