I've officially been fired

Gracious Warrior said:
Welp I've officially been fired after a 3 week investigation by HR. I was a accused of sexual harassment by a backstabbing coworker who pretended to be my friend for so long.

I just want to put this out there for any guys who work with females and interact with them regularly. Never forget that women are women and they don't have the same mentality and sense of humor we men have. So before you think they are just like any of your other buddies take a moment to realize they are not.

Long story short: a female co-worker and I always chat and share jokes and memes and what not. We gossip and talk about inappropriate things too. So I'm thinking this lady is my friend because this is how friends act towards eachother. So anyway we are working from home and we start exchanging memes on messenger. And I jokingly sent her a picture of a guy giving himself a blowjob. She didn't seem offended and didn't raise any objections. We continued chatting and then parted ways in normal fashion.

The next day I get a call from HR. They tell me It's critically important. I must come in the next day.

I go to the office and they tell me I'm suspended until they conclude their investigation into a sexual harassment allegation against me. They told me the allegation was about the image I sent of the man. At that moment I knew I was toast. they told me I wasn't allowed to reach out to my coworkers in any fashion. So I couldn't call her and ask wtf this was all about.

But now it's done. I'm fired. And I'm still baffled by why she did what she did. She could have just said not cool and I would have got the message. I just feel super betrayed that she went nuclear from the start. But now I know my lesson.
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Sucks that you got fired
It really sucks
 
That is the kind of meme I'd send to friends I don't work with.. definitely not anyone at the company.

Remember, it is good to be friendly, but you work for money, you don't work to make friends. They are not your real friends, they are friendly co-workers.
 
Fatality said:
You need to have rules working in an office environment. Mine are:
1. There will be no chit chat, joking around or any communication that isn't work related.
2. Record all meetings and interviews. This one has saved me twice already.
3. Institute an infraction system, three violations means that person is done. This will work if you're not in a position of authority as well, just distance yourself from any co-worker that crosses the line you establish.

People make the mistake of getting too familiar with their co-workers and nothing good ever comes from it.
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You sound like a right laugh to work with.
 
Phlog said:
I don't get it, the picture is not illegal, it's not of him, he's not intending to cause harm, it doesn't even involve a woman or a threat to a woman.

It's sexual, at most. I don't see the harassment. Harassment is "behavior, physical or verbal (or even suggested), that makes a reasonable person feel uncomfortable, humiliated, or mentally distressed." I think it is inappropriate and the woman could have let him know it's over the line, I guess she could say she feels uncomfortable, but it seems like a small thing.

I guess I don't think it's reasonable to fire a person for such an error of judgement and that a reasonable person wouldn't get their fee fees hurt by a horrible bit of internet.

Maybe my mind is just too polluted.

I feel intent on the part of the perpetrator matters, and reasonableness on the part of the complainant. Maybe a 3 strike situation would be appropriate.
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I've never even considered that I might be able to send anyone at work porn without being fired for it.
 
RogerB08 said:
I don't know about gay, but it's definitely bi-curious. My question is whether it's worth the effort.
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Idk, no one thinks it's gay when you jack yourself off. Is it massively different to that really? I'm pretty sure if dude's could suck themselves off they'd be doing it pretty often.
 
Hellowhosthat said:
Idk, no one thinks it's gay when you jack yourself off. Is it massively different to that really? I'm pretty sure if dude's could suck themselves off they'd be doing it pretty often.
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IDK man.. tasting your own hard cock seems pretty gay to me.. not that there is anything wrong with that..

You do you though! Go on and swallow your own load.. I won't judge.
 
Nada. said:
Man, he send unwanted, unasked pictures with sexual content to a female co-worker. That is sexual harassment. The subtext is offensive and sexual with lots of room to interpret.

Also we don't know her side of the story. Maybe she was feeling uncomfortable the whole time getting memes from him but was kinda polite, maybe, maybe, maybe.

Here's a list, even jokes with sexual content are qualified as sexual harassment given circumstances.

  • Making conditions of employment or advancement dependent on sexual favors, either explicitly or implicitly.
  • Physical acts of sexual assault.
  • Requests for sexual favors.
  • Verbal harassment of a sexual nature, including jokes referring to sexual acts or sexual orientation.
  • Unwanted touching or physical contact.
  • Unwelcome sexual advances.
  • Discussing sexual relations/stories/fantasies at work, school, or in other inappropriate places.
  • Feeling pressured to engage with someone sexually.
  • Exposing oneself or performing sexual acts on oneself.
  • Unwanted sexually explicit photos, emails, or text messages.
https://www.rainn.org/articles/sexual-harassment

It's highly unprofessional even if he didnt intent to creep her out. I would fire him, too. Don't act like a borderline psycho at work.
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The last point is appropriate, but only because a presumption of offence is made.

Context is obviously very important, because without it one cannot determine whether it was offensive or not. One can be offended by someone doing nothing and we consider that irrelevant offence, so offence itself is about meaning, not it's absence.

mozfonky said:
ok, you try it and see if you learn anything and report back. go research.
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I have no co workers so I cannot. When I did however, I was either firm friends with them and could share whatever, or I was aquatinted with them and would not messege them about anything except work ever.

Hellowhosthat said:
I've never even considered that I might be able to send anyone at work porn without being fired for it.
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When you put it like that it does sound ridiculous.
 
Gracious Warrior said:
We gossip
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{<huh} You did what??

hand over your man card.



It's karma for all the people you slandered while feeding your masculinity to the dogs.


If you have a problem with someone, confront them about it like a man . Gossip and reputation distruction? Shameful.
<34>
 
Phlog said:
last point is appropriate, but only because a presumption of offence is made.
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All bigger points can be used here given room of Interpretation. He send her pictures of sexual context, showing a sexual act, that does suggest some sort of response by her, the act in itself can be interpretated as some form of ts sexusl desire or act while sending it, it can be interpretated as an sexual advance.

She did not want it in any way, shape or form and, obviously, was highly offended. Given ts other threads about women this case is closed.

I really dont get what to not understand here. Its highly offensive, trespassing several red lines, highly unprofessionell and very creepy.

Burn him at a stake! Haha.
 
The max amount you should trust anyone is the max amount of betrayal afford to have done to you.

If you're going to trust someone to not get you fired if they could, then you need to be in a position where you can afford to be fired, only then can you afford to hand out that level of trust to people.
 
I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, 'cause I've worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time."
george-costanza-was-that-wrong.gif

 
If you would send a picture like that out to a female coworker, then it makes me question your ability to accurately judge any sort of social situation. I'm guessing you guys weren't as cool as you seem to think you were.

lol Like come on...how does a person even respond to being sent a pic of a guy sucking his own dick?
Like what is the conversation like after that? That's just so weird, especially to send it to a chick.
 
I'm part of like 5 meme groups, and wouldn't share any of them with anyone I work with.

Sorry your coworker betrayed you, it would have been nice if she just told you that sending her inappropriate pictures was not OK.
 
Jesus Christ we knew 20 years ago not to even show boobs on anything sent via email or on any work related server or board.
 
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