OMG I ****** up real real bad

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by IloveTHIS, Jun 13, 2018.

  1. IloveTHIS

    IloveTHIS Yellow Card Yellow Card

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    This is going to sound absolutely ridiculous but I dont know who else to tell and I need to get this off my chest. I'm absolutely panicked right now. I feel like I might pass out.

    I live by a decently sized woods, it is right behind my house. Its a big enough wooded area that there are certainly plenty of deer and stuff in there, but not big enough to where anyone intelligent would hunt as they would definitely get in big trouble hunting within city limits.

    Anyways I was feeling kind of frisky, needing to fap one out and it hit me. I dont know where this idea came from, but it came. Its a nice day out so I figure, what the hell, I'm going to bust one out in the woods. Return to nature you know? Reconnect with the primal side.

    So I go pretty deep into the woods, deep enough to where it was definitely not still on my property. Probably about 2 miles in. I start the job when half way in something catches my eye in a tree. I immediately know what it is, and upon closer inspection I verify. A fucking trail cam. Its secured to the tree in some kind of homemade box with a lock. I cant get it off with out breaking the box.

    Looking around I find 2 more for a total of 3. Two of them were essentially pointed right at me. I would smash them to pieces and steal the memory card, but looking up one Amazon that resembles them entirely it seems these fucking things can stream/store directly to computers and phones they are connected to!

    WHAT DO I DO
     
  2. HomerThompson

    HomerThompson President of the War Room Platinum Member

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    Jerk off again, and make sure to ham it up for the cameras.
     
  3. Scott Parker 27

    Scott Parker 27 Your Mom's Box

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  4. The Witcher

    The Witcher відродитися Yellow Card

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    Burn the entire forest down.
     
  5. TheWobbler

    TheWobbler Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card Yellow Card

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    This actually made me laugh whether its true or not.
     
  6. Scrody

    Scrody Gold Belt Platinum Member

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    Jesus Christ. You're a filthy animal TS
     
  7. Michaelangelo

    Michaelangelo Genetic Jackhammer Platinum Member

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    bang some escorts and make a sequel
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2018
  8. Gregolian

    Gregolian .45 ACP Platinum Member

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  9. ralphc1

    ralphc1 Steel Belt Platinum Member

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    Unless they have telephoto lenses, they probably didn't see your junk.
     
  10. boingyman

    boingyman If can, can. If no can, no can.

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    Welcome to pornhub.
     
  11. MaxMMA

    MaxMMA Purple Belt

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    I wouldn't worry about it. You didn't commit any crimes and from what you posted is sounds like the owner of the trail cams might be the ones breaking the law.
     
    Clippy and loyalyolayal like this.
  12. Satsui Ryu

    Satsui Ryu Brown Belt

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    Build up some baby gravy and fire it off on one of the cameras. You are past the point of no return, might as well make a statement.
     
  13. Midnighter

    Midnighter Red Belt

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    I'm watching the vid now.

    I'll upload it here in a bit.
     
    Kirin, HunterIII, Goonerview and 21 others like this.
  14. Bloody Pulp

    Bloody Pulp Silver Belt

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    Someone installed a bunch of cameras randomly in the woods? You walked two miles to fap?

    <puh-lease75>
     
  15. Anung Un Rama

    Anung Un Rama The Right Hand of Doom Platinum Member

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    Don't worry, your city will forget about this after 3 to 6 new cycles.
     
  16. IloveTHIS

    IloveTHIS Yellow Card Yellow Card

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    No I was far enough in that it was no longer my property so technically I was tresspassing when I did this. Cant go to the police
     
  17. Aquabot

    Aquabot Brown Belt

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    Keep jerking off. How does the saying go? If they watch the video then the jokes on them because that makes them gay. Put on such a fucked up show they never return to the area. Hold up a sign saying you know where they live while you jerk off.
     
  18. Jaeger Imperator

    Jaeger Imperator GET SOME Platinum Member

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    this is fucking hilarious, a glorious Sherdog moment
     
  19. Dirt Road Soldier

    Dirt Road Soldier Salt the flesh! Fuck the wound!

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    Find some hippy chick. Take her out there, use some bogus line about being one with nature. Fuck her rotten for the cameras. Give'em a show at least.
     
    90 50, Robocok, mb23100 and 1 other person like this.
  20. TribalDrumz

    TribalDrumz Purple Belt

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    They're monitoring mountain lions not your small little dick.
     
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