Cliffs:
Update (Warning, Long post):
After calling and apologizing, we get together on Saturday. It starts well, we have always enjoyed each other's company, and we spent the day running errands, but having a good time. However, it all started to unravel when I purchased her a piece of flan (the cake).
I buy the flan and put it in the back of the car. I guess I didn't put the bag down properly, and the syrup from the flan leaks out of the box and onto the container. She starts going off on me, and says that I should be more observant. I let it go and laugh it off.
We go back to my place where she immediately starts to complain about me not putting away my dishes. Keep in mind that we don't live together. Once again, I laugh it off and try to make a joke about being a man child. Admittedly, I should have probably been contrite, but I genuinely didn't think it was a big deal. She starts getting moody and says that she can't see herself living with someone who needs to be constantly reminded to do small domestic duties. She calms down, and we start dinner.
While I'm not going to go into ever detail, over the duration of a 30 minute meal, she told me what I could and couldn't eat, how to position a fork in my plate, and complained about the way I took the cover off of the salad (there is apparently a right and wrong way). In all fairness to her, I suppose I should know these things, but I felt like I was being nagged to death. She even went so far as ordering me to get a piece of paper and write down the cleaning supplies I needed. I still bite my tongue and concede that I am not a particularly functional adult.
Later in the evening, I go to make a move and she says she isn't in the mood because of my man-child behavior. I actually didn't mind and don't presume that my partner will always be in the mood, so we are just sort of lying down on the couch together. She changes her mind 30min later and we start to fool around. As we are kissing, she notices that I still have gum in my mouth and she freaks out. She literally starts yelling at me and tells me to go spit it out and brush my teeth (keep in mind that I am 32 years old and work as a university professor, yet I am being ordered around like a child).
At this point, I have concluded that I can't live like this. I am genuinely starting to dislike her, and I would rather part on good terms while there is still mutual respect and love. I tell her that I am worried I don't think I can change fast enough to meet her expectations of what a partner should be, and that I don't think we are compatible. She starts crying and begging forgiveness, and promises to change.
The thing is, I don't think she should have to change - her expectations of what a man should be are not unrealistic and I genuinely just fall short. I love her and treat her well, but I know we will end up hating one another because we fundamentally value different things in a relationship. For me, it isn't a big deal to have dirty dishes in the sink, but for her it is. I would have hoped she would be more understanding given that I am good at the grand gestures of love - I surprise her gifts, hold open the car door, plan romantic get-aways etc. But life is more than just grand gestures, it is mostly the small day to day stuff.
I feel awful in the sense she is devastated. She told me that she feels like was her last chance at finding love and having a family, and we really do have an amazing time together 99% of the time. However, I also feel a tremendous sense of relief - I was being controlled (from the way I ate/dressed, all the way to the point of telling me to stop bodybuilding). I would rather be an eccentric solitary scientist than be in a relationship where I lost my sense of identity.
Many thanks for the advice everyone. I will try and be less emo in the future.