- Joined
- Oct 13, 2018
- Messages
- 91
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- 104
First of all sorry for my english in advance it's not my native language. Don't judge me too strictly on that and about my situation. This forum is the only one forum I care about it. I don't have other places to talk about it (including real life). I know most people easily gets bored by reading a ton of text but I hope some of you will read till the end. Even I don't have a lot of messages I was reading this forum (mostly UFC discussion) way before I registered here. Honestly I just didn't wanna embarrass myself with my poor and broken english even when I wanted to participate in fight discussions. But with my current situation I couldn't care less about my grammar mistakes.
I'm a longtime MMA fan (started watching since Fedor's glory days in Pride) and closely paying attention to the UFC since Velasquez - JDS trilogy.
So right now I'm experiencing literally the toughest period of my life. And I have no idea how to get out of this situation. My life has never been easy but for the last month or two it's the worst experience I've ever had. Anxiety and depression on a daily basis eating me alive. My mom is very sick with multiple diseases (mostly heart problems and headaches) She's only 57 and turns 58 at December 26. She's too young and I truly believe she can easily live for another 10-20 years. I don't care about my biological father (he left us long time ago) We don't really interact with relatives.. they're always treated us with some notes of contempt cuz we just people of different social statuses. Some of my friends died in freak accidents (I wish I was one of those guys) and with some of them I don't have anything in common anymore and they have their own families/kids etc. I never thought that I would find myself in a situation when literally the most important person in my life is suffering on a regular basis and I can't do anything about it.
So just recently I almost lost her due to some daily stress she started to choke due to lack of oxygen complaining to a severe headache and chest pain. For a moment I thought I will lose her forever in a matter of seconds because there was a moment when she didn't move at all and closed her eyes for a few seconds and that was terrifying experience and especially that look on her face right before when she was choking. In such a short period of time so many thoughts went through my head. Even writing this, is really hard for me. My question is have you ever experienced maybe not similar situation but when you felt that you completely lost and stuck in life related to some serious problems. And how it turned out at the end? Right now I have no idea how to get out of this situation. I'm just dying inside.. Every day walking up in the middle of the night with 3-4hrs sleep and huge amount of anxiety. Thinking constantly about what might happen If I won't be able to help her in time. I don't care about anything else right now.. all my thoughts is about how can I save her before it's too late. Knowing that I could never see her again, kills me. I wouldn't be able to accept it. I'm also having health problems (lower-back pain/eyesight/foot pain/headaches) but nothing life-threatening like in her case. How to cope with constant anxiety and depression and how to overcome situations when there's no escape?
I'm a longtime MMA fan (started watching since Fedor's glory days in Pride) and closely paying attention to the UFC since Velasquez - JDS trilogy.
So right now I'm experiencing literally the toughest period of my life. And I have no idea how to get out of this situation. My life has never been easy but for the last month or two it's the worst experience I've ever had. Anxiety and depression on a daily basis eating me alive. My mom is very sick with multiple diseases (mostly heart problems and headaches) She's only 57 and turns 58 at December 26. She's too young and I truly believe she can easily live for another 10-20 years. I don't care about my biological father (he left us long time ago) We don't really interact with relatives.. they're always treated us with some notes of contempt cuz we just people of different social statuses. Some of my friends died in freak accidents (I wish I was one of those guys) and with some of them I don't have anything in common anymore and they have their own families/kids etc. I never thought that I would find myself in a situation when literally the most important person in my life is suffering on a regular basis and I can't do anything about it.
So just recently I almost lost her due to some daily stress she started to choke due to lack of oxygen complaining to a severe headache and chest pain. For a moment I thought I will lose her forever in a matter of seconds because there was a moment when she didn't move at all and closed her eyes for a few seconds and that was terrifying experience and especially that look on her face right before when she was choking. In such a short period of time so many thoughts went through my head. Even writing this, is really hard for me. My question is have you ever experienced maybe not similar situation but when you felt that you completely lost and stuck in life related to some serious problems. And how it turned out at the end? Right now I have no idea how to get out of this situation. I'm just dying inside.. Every day walking up in the middle of the night with 3-4hrs sleep and huge amount of anxiety. Thinking constantly about what might happen If I won't be able to help her in time. I don't care about anything else right now.. all my thoughts is about how can I save her before it's too late. Knowing that I could never see her again, kills me. I wouldn't be able to accept it. I'm also having health problems (lower-back pain/eyesight/foot pain/headaches) but nothing life-threatening like in her case. How to cope with constant anxiety and depression and how to overcome situations when there's no escape?
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