Should I get a place with my girl and her kid?

I feel like some of y'all aren't getting the right read on me and how I would act with a kid around. Kids have always loved me and I have tons of cousins that are young. I'm great with kids and would never act in a way that I would want this kid to feel bad. I put the kid as a con more due to my personal freedom. I want kids within the next few years so living with a kid might actually help prepare me to raise my own.
 
The obvious answer is that if it does not work out, you are likely going to be stuck with a more expensive place with a further commute. Sure, she signed the lease, but most leases will hold you both responsible for the full amount. If she leaves and doesn't pay her 1/2, they still come after you.
 
That commute, is it 30-45 min one way?

The IRS rate for miles is 0.65 per. This supposedly accounts for gas and wear on the car.

If so, your commute is say, 30 miles round trip more than it is currently, it will cost you an extra 26 bucks per day. Less of you have a fuel efficient car. Double it if the commute is adding 30 miles one way.

So you could be adding an expense that significantly eats into whatever you're saving by moving in with her. If you're doing it for purely financial reasons, I'd say find an apartment closer to your work. Or that thousand bucks you think you're saving will be more like 500.
 
Also, the reason why 4 months is too soon is because anyone can be on their best behavior for 6 months or so. After that, you start to see the flaws come out.

Once you see the flaws, then you can make an objective decision on whether her pros outweigh her cons. But until then, you have incomplete info.

And knowing her for 6 years doesn't count. There are things you'll never know about a person until you're in a relationship with them.

The only plus I see in your situation is that the kid is young. So if you did decide to marry her, you can raise that kid right. If he were already a teenager then you'd get that "you're not my dad" attitude.
 
Oregonmma said:
I feel like some of y'all aren't getting the right read on me and how I would act with a kid around. Kids have always loved me and I have tons of cousins that are young. I'm great with kids and would never act in a way that I would want this kid to feel bad. I put the kid as a con more due to my personal freedom. I want kids within the next few years so living with a kid might actually help prepare me to raise my own.
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I don't think I mentioned how you are with kids. Just warned you of the potential pitfalls as women with kids work on an accelerated expectation of relationship schedule.
 
Tuvatuva said:
I hope you're happy but I will never understand why anyone would be with a woman with another man's child.
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My wifes father didn't understand why I wanted to date someone 7 years younger than me. He thought I only wanted to hit and run. I laid it out for my wife very plainly and said the older the women the more likely she is to have kids and that's a road I don't want to go down.

There's only two women I've ever considered with kids. One adopted the kids so I'm ok with that because there's no real father around. The other one had a kid but the father moved to Sweden and hasn't come back to the US in like 5 years so that was something I felt I could do as well. Other than that I stayed away from those situations the best I could.
 
Oregonmma said:
Dude had a bad alcohol/gambling addiction and she had to pretty much pay for everything including his bills. Was just a shitty person in general.
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Was he a shitty person when she met him and she still chose to be with him and have his child? Did she intend to have his child or was it a case of irresponsible behavior and an accidental pregnancy? If she had a child with a shitty person, half of the child's DNA came from that shitty person which may not bode well for the future behavior of that child. It is also an example of her making bad choices in life.

Another consideration is will her baby daddy be able to pay child support or does she have a good job so you won't end up supporting both of them.
 
Aren't you dating the Onlyfans girl or it's another sherbro?
 
I would advice not, 4 months is way too soon to move in with someone. Dating someone and living with someone are two completely different things, if the relationship goes sour you are not only breaking up with her, you are also breaking up with the child and that to me is worst.
 
Fedorgasm said:
That commute, is it 30-45 min one way?

The IRS rate for miles is 0.65 per. This supposedly accounts for gas and wear on the car.

If so, your commute is say, 30 miles round trip more than it is currently, it will cost you an extra 26 bucks per day. Less of you have a fuel efficient car. Double it if the commute is adding 30 miles one way.

So you could be adding an expense that significantly eats into whatever you're saving by moving in with her. If you're doing it for purely financial reasons, I'd say find an apartment closer to your work. Or that thousand bucks you think you're saving will be more like 500.
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Commute would be about 30 miles round trip. Morning commute would be like 20-30 mins and about 30-45 mins on the way back due to traffic. My car gets about 26mpg on the highway.
 
ralphc1 said:
Was he a shitty person when she met him and she still chose to be with him and have his child? Did she intend to have his child or was it a case of irresponsible behavior and an accidental pregnancy? If she had a child with a shitty person, half of the child's DNA came from that shitty person which may not bode well for the future behavior of that child. It is also an example of her making bad choices in life.

Another consideration is will her baby daddy be able to pay child support or does she have a good job so you won't end up supporting both of them.
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He hid it pretty well until he couldn't anymore. As far as the kid goes he was pretty much an accident and she wanted to have it and thought he would be a good father at the time (This is before she knew about his addictions). They already have the child support situation figured out. The dude has to live with his parents to afford the payments but he hasn't missed em.
 



PLEASE watch this! Yes, yes, I know, hip-hoppy, etc. Do NOT disregard the message because of the envelope it comes in.
 
rearnakedchoke said:
I never understand why people have a problem with being with a women who has had a kid by someone else.
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Because the child adds two more people into the relationship with the woman. The child and the child's father become part of your world. The point of two people getting into a relationship is to find two compatible people to possibly have a family.
 
Strychnine said:



PLEASE watch this! Yes, yes, I know, hip-hoppy, etc. Do NOT disregard the message because of the envelope it comes in.
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That podcast is horrible lol most of those people can't even form a sentence correctly. I get the message but I'm 30 so unless I'm going to go for someone much younger a lot of women my age are going to have a kid or some kind of baggage.
 
ralphc1 said:
Because the child adds two more people into the relationship with the woman. The child and the child's father become part of your world. The point of two people getting into a relationship is to find two compatible people to possibly have a family.
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I agree it can add variables into the equation, but I wouldn’t make it a hard rule if I was young and looking to get into a relationship. But maybe that is my older self talking to a younger me. Who knows.
 
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