Social Value of Female Friends

[KBE6EKCTAH_CCP]

Some guys think men and women can't be friends, but that's nonsense. Female friends offer the obvious value of introducing you to her girl friends or being great wingmen, especially if your friends are attractive. Since there is no better way to seem attractive to women than being seen with an attractive woman.

But now I am seeing the incredible value of the role they play in emotional connection. As men, we don't allow ourselves to be as vulnerable around each other. Even if we want to, it's just not how most guys communicate.

For example, after my last break up from a serious relationship, my guy friends were there to shoot the shit, drink beer, go out with me to hit on chicks, etc. But conversations about how I was feeling were reduced to, "that sucks bro, but there's more chicks out there."

But with one of my best friends who's a woman, I talked more openly about how heart broken and sad I was, and she listened without judgement, without worrying about whether or not I'll lose my man card. Both types of friends were there for me in different ways.

Both dynamics are valuable and why we need different kinds of people to play different roles. I would even say that female friendships are even more important when you're in a relationship, because women lose attraction for their men when they are too vulnerable, but you don't have to worry about your female friend not seeing you as attractive since you're already friend zoned anyway. The only problem is that your partner would not like that you're being more emotionally vulnerable with another woman.

Sounds pretty ghey NGL.

 

[Takes_Two_To_Tango]

I have two female friends that I could of easily messed with, almost did in fact. But I turned them down or vice versa. lol It was mutual I guess, just thought it would be better if we just stay as friends and not go any further.

Also one my friends I was pursuing very persistently, but she kept on putting me off. Which is fine, we are better off as just friends. In fact I don't find her attractive anymore.

And the other is my good friend wife who's not like a great friend of mine. We really close friends and nothing more that's for sure. So that's about 4 girls that I'm good friends with.

 

[Tuvatuva]

You've read "The Game" once too many times and took it to heart.

I bet you invested 2 hours into learning a magic trick just to try and impress women at a bar, didn't you?

And it probably wasn't that good of a card trick either, but it's easy to impress half-inebriated women (inebriated people in general) in a dimly lit nightclub... It's OK, I get it.

Mystery's real name is Erik von Markovik, he is 51 years old and still dressing like a Steam-punk Criss Angel circa 2005.

He dresses more like Criss Angel than even Criss Angel does.

If that's confusing to you, good because it should be.

That's the point.

Don't listen to Pickup Artists.

Postscript: Holla at'cha boy if you want to learn a moderately decent card trick that will take you 10 - 15 minutes of practice and it will impress everybody, including sober women.

Lol what are you even talking about.

I have two female friends, one in Singapore, the other in New York State. I'm in the UK.

That is the only way.

(And I know both would get into a romantic relationship with me if we were local and not seeing anyone)

In a male, female friendship one person always wants more. That doesn't have to be a problem but it can easily be one.

That's a potential problem that comes with the territory. Every relationship comes with potential problems. It's important to establish clear boundaries from the beginning. I've known my good female friend for years and there was not once any spark or mutual attraction as far as I can tell. I very clearly distinguish my relationships with women, either platonic or sexually involved. Nothing in between and I treat my female friends the same as my male friends. No flirting or touching in any way that I wouldn't do with other men.

I have multiple good female friends. Some dudes are just so desperate, insecure and thirsty, they’re unable to because they can’t even communicate with women without being creepy.

They take to the internet to blame every factor except their own inability to communicate with women. Instead of spending time gaining confidence, communication skills and reading social cues, they lash out. That’s basically what incels are.

If you have good female friends, it probably means you're not a desperate creep.

 

[-Magua-]

lol... that's the Pigeon I know.

 

[TheTickG]

Some guys think men and women can't be friends, but that's nonsense. Female friends offer the obvious value of introducing you to her girl friends or being great wingmen, especially if your friends are attractive. Since there is no better way to seem attractive to women than being seen with an attractive woman.

But now I am seeing the incredible value of the role they play in emotional connection. As men, we don't allow ourselves to be as vulnerable around each other. Even if we want to, it's just not how most guys communicate.

For example, after my last break up from a serious relationship, my guy friends were there to shoot the shit, drink beer, go out with me to hit on chicks, etc. But conversations about how I was feeling were reduced to, "that sucks bro, but there's more chicks out there."

But with one of my best friends who's a woman, I talked more openly about how heart broken and sad I was, and she listened without judgement, without worrying about whether or not I'll lose my man card. Both types of friends were there for me in different ways.

Both dynamics are valuable and why we need different kinds of people to play different roles. I would even say that female friendships are even more important when you're in a relationship, because women lose attraction for their men when they are too vulnerable, but you don't have to worry about your female friend not seeing you as attractive since you're already friend zoned anyway. The only problem is that your partner would not like that you're being more emotionally vulnerable with another woman.

One way of viewing it:
Men value based on accomplishments.
Women value based on emotions.

Both can be important.

 

[Dogshare]

If you have good female friends, it probably means you're not a desperate creep.

It started with female friends to talk with emotionally and as wingman and now having female friends means you are not a desperate creep?

What about having a good wife you can talk with? Then you don't need a female friend as wingman, you don't need a female friend to talk with and you don't need to be a desperate creep.

Also to have a female friend to have a wingman sounds desperate on itself.

 

[Kowboy On Sherdog]

 

[Alphaboy]

Cliffs?

 

[Bunk Moreland]

the real value of female friendship

I wonder if that girl got stuck in the dryer and if so who helped her get out.

 

[chimpoehurricane]

Some guys think men and women can't be friends, but that's nonsense. Female friends offer the obvious value of introducing you to her girl friends or being great wingmen, especially if your friends are attractive. Since there is no better way to seem attractive to women than being seen with an attractive woman.

But now I am seeing the incredible value of the role they play in emotional connection. As men, we don't allow ourselves to be as vulnerable around each other. Even if we want to, it's just not how most guys communicate.

For example, after my last break up from a serious relationship, my guy friends were there to shoot the shit, drink beer, go out with me to hit on chicks, etc. But conversations about how I was feeling were reduced to, "that sucks bro, but there's more chicks out there."

But with one of my best friends who's a woman, I talked more openly about how heart broken and sad I was, and she listened without judgement, without worrying about whether or not I'll lose my man card. Both types of friends were there for me in different ways.

Both dynamics are valuable and why we need different kinds of people to play different roles. I would even say that female friendships are even more important when you're in a relationship, because women lose attraction for their men when they are too vulnerable, but you don't have to worry about your female friend not seeing you as attractive since you're already friend zoned anyway. The only problem is that your partner would not like that you're being more emotionally vulnerable with another woman.

Someone usually wants more and it's usually the guy and the girl seeks a emotional tampon. I am sure some exceptions exist but it's generally not the case.

 

[Bunk Moreland]

 

[I Am Legion]

I have had some really great female friendships over the years. They offer different points of view and support that a fellow man can't. In college at one point, I moved out of the frat house into an apartment with 2 women I was friends with from class. I needed more peace and quiet to do my work, and also got sick of the lack of cleaning. These 2 girls and I became very close. I was the protector and griller. They were cleaners and bakers. I fixed shit and painted, they decorated.. I did casually bang both of them in between boyfriends and my girlfriends (never at same time). It never got weird, we all made jokes about it. All of us were in the same place mentally so it worked. 30 years later we all still keep in touch.

 

[Plutoburn]

The women that I get along with best other than my wife are lesbians. We just have more things I find interesting to talk about instead of gossips, cosmetics, etc...

 

[moreorless87]

Partly due to my line of work selling photography(often at events like craft markets were the majority of people involved are women) I'm guessing probably 2/3rds of my friends are women the majority of whome I'm not physically attracted to.

There is definitely something to be said for the lack of competitiveness, maybe both ways, I can't say I have "discussions about our feelings" with them, most of them its people who share my interests in film, music, travel, photography, etc or just a sense of humour but its lacking in the one upmanship thats more common with men and I'd guess between women.

 

[William Huggins]

Fiver....

 

[cmw43]

It started with female friends to talk with emotionally and as wingman and now having female friends means you are not a desperate creep?

What about having a good wife you can talk with? Then you don't need a female friend as wingman, you don't need a female friend to talk with and you don't need to be a desperate creep.

Also to have a female friend to have a wingman sounds desperate on itself.

I found that girls im friends with used to prefer to cockblock.

 

[Fugazy]

the real value of female friendship

There's no chance a woman made that sandwich. It's way too symmetrical and well balanced.

 

[Dogshare]

I have had some really great female friendships over the years. They offer different points of view and support that a fellow man can't. In college at one point, I moved out of the frat house into an apartment with 2 women I was friends with from class. I needed more peace and quiet to do my work, and also got sick of the lack of cleaning. These 2 girls and I became very close. I was the protector and griller. They were cleaners and bakers. I fixed shit and painted, they decorated.. I did casually bang both of them in between boyfriends and my girlfriends (never at same time). It never got weird, we all made jokes about it. All of us were in the same place mentally so it worked. 30 years later we all still keep in touch.

So you bang your female friends. What did you tell your girlfriends that you speak about at that time? I live with two female friends that I also bang when I am single, but they are just friends?

 

[Streeter]

Too time consuming for me

 

[Brandino]

When I was in my 20's and dating I had many female friends. They were always great sources of new girls to date or to share my feelings late at night after the bar when drunk.

Story time: I will always remember one girl named Sonya who was not only hideous but also extremely annoying. Picture looks like the monster from The Thing and voice as shrill as Urkel. I knew her from high school and may have spoke to her a few times during that time. Fast forward 3 years later and I'm walking in the mall (it was 2001 malls were still a thing) and I bumped into her walking along side a drop dead gorgeous girl. I feigned excitement of seeing her for the first time since high school and suggested that we all should hang out some time. It turns out that Sonya was the ugly duckling and her group of 5 - 8 girls that she hangs with were all nearly ten on tens. So for the next month or two my guy friends and I would invite Sonya + company and got our ins with the ladies. It all culminated on one beautiful summer night when I had a house party.

Drinks were flowing and my room mates each were in their rooms with friends of Sonya and I lucked out and was in my bedroom with the girl from the mall. We still had 20 people in the house partying. She was gorgeous and just as I was starting and enjoying the moment in my hazed euphoric state I could hear a banshee screaming from the hallway "Your making a mistake!!!" , I then heard my good buddy Dave say "I am pretty sure he wants to fuck" , I then hear people saying to leave them alone. Bursting through my door Sonya says "I don't want you to make a mistake that you will regret". I said that I'm good and to get out. By now my buddy Dave is trying to drag her out and gets her out.... only for her to run back in and try to pull me off. The girl I was with flips into beast mode and starts flipping out screaming at her and they get into a minor fight. By now many of my friends are looking in the room and I'm covering my dong with my discounted Charlotte Hornets hat and you see a beautiful woman kicking a wildebeest in the gut trying to get her away. I will always cherish that memory.

The next day Sonya sobered up professes her jealousy and her love for me and that was when I finally had a chance to break out the "I see you Sonya more like a Sister" speech which I also will always remember my first time officially friend zoning a girl. Those were the best days of my life.

Getting back to the topic on hand, I met my current wife through a girl who I was friends with. This friend was great because she would bounce from jobs every 3 - 6 months so she would always come with fresh new supply to meat.