Your Most Awkward Jiu-Jitsu Situation

ztt1 said:
Speaking of blind people.

We had a guy come in who was as blind as bat. As in he couldn't see ANYTHING. Well we did this drill as a warm up where you sprawled around in a circle. Well we did that 2x, and the instructor told us to do some shots. I adjusted myself back to the original position, but I guess the blind guy didn't because he took a shot right into a pillar that he had positioned himself in front of. It was a padded pillar, but he slammed his head right into it. I knew I was going to hell, but I had to force back some serious laughter. We asked him if it was OK and he was embarrassed, but that was kind of awkward for a second there.

This one time we had an instructor who listened to a lot of gay Euro dance. I mean really, really homo Euro techno. Well for a warm up we had to run laps around the mat and he would stay in the middle and call out instructions. We had a procedure in which we start by circling left facing the inside, then turn around and face the outside, hip switches, skips, jogs etc. When we did circles we also raised our arms in conjunction to our foot movement so it was like we were circling as we did jumping jacks. This seems gay on it's own, but for some reason the instructor who was standing in the middle thinks it would be alright to start doing cart wheels in the middle to warm up as well WHILE this ridiculously gay Euro dance was playing. So picture in your head 20 or so jacked dudes , some in board shorts, some in spandex fucking going around in circles doing jumping jacks, followed by hip switches, followed by skips as this big hairy 200lb (yet nimble) Iranian guy was doing cartwheels in the middle while the GAYEST Euro dance imaginable was blasting in the background. I felt so uncomfortable, at this surreal situation I had found myself in. I glanced to my right and I saw the guy beside me just glance at me and give me one of those "W..T..F" looks. I look over at the guy on my left and he's grinning his ass off. This circle, gay disco, aerobics cult went on for a good 2 minutes before thankfully, the song ended.
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this is by far the funniest post I have ever read on this forum!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
me and my jits close are real close in size only difference is that his game is sick and mine is begining and we got a little to competitive anyways long story short i went home with a black eye my mouth bloody and my ankle way swollen. not really awkward but i learned not to fight my jits instructor unless there are punches involved
 
Mirada said:
"Don't worry about it, it was all frank and no beans."
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I have actually used this exact phrase several times during jiu-jitsu training
 
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I think you handled it the right way, dont think of it as a competition think of free sparring as a learning experience and it will turn out just fine.

I personally cant stand people that think free sparring in a class has to be at break neck speeds with 100% aggression. were in class to learn not get hurt, save the aggression for a competition
 
POPPA ROTZEE said:
HAHAHAHA, yeah. Its funny that every gym no matter what city still has the same guys.

1. Protein fart guy
2. Sweaty guy
4. Bad breath guy
5. Wait till everyones tired before you start rolling guy
6. 15 min late guy
7 Pre excuse guy

the list goes on and on and they are everywhere :p
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I think anyone who has been a part of BJJ can qualify as the sweaty guy
 
Rolling with a girl, and accidentally checking her oil has to be about the most awkward situations I've been in.
 
POPPA ROTZEE said:
HAHAHAHA, yeah. Its funny that every gym no matter what city still has the same guys.

1. Protein fart guy
2. Sweaty guy
4. Bad breath guy
5. Wait till everyones tired before you start rolling guy
6. 15 min late guy
7 Pre excuse guy

the list goes on and on and they are everywhere :p
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"15 minute late guy" and "wait till everyone's tired" guy are often the same person. Usually skipping the warm up while everyones sweating their ass off.
 
POPPA ROTZEE said:
HAHAHAHA, yeah. Its funny that every gym no matter what city still has the same guys.

1. Protein fart guy
2. Sweaty guy
4. Bad breath guy
5. Wait till everyones tired before you start rolling guy
6. 15 min late guy
7 Pre excuse guy

the list goes on and on and they are everywhere :p
Click to expand...


I might be Mr. Protein Fart guy, but I don't think that takes away from my BJJ ability.
 
chs140 said:
me and my jits close are real close in size only difference is that his game is sick and mine is begining and we got a little to competitive anyways long story short i went home with a black eye my mouth bloody and my ankle way swollen. not really awkward but i learned not to fight my jits instructor unless there are punches involved
Click to expand...

huh?
 
I was teaching an attack from mount to a woman who was rather endowed in the chest region and was walking her through the technique and it went like this:
Ok good now plant your feet on my hips
Ok good now grab my wrist
Ok good now climb higher in the mount
hmph mrph mphh *muffle muffle muffle*

Never occured to me going in that I'd end up "motorboating" halfway through the technique.
 
as a n00b I was choked out by a girl, no biggie if it wasn't by a triangle. woke up drooling in her crotch. she was an adult and just tought it was funny, slapped me playfully and said that is for the bedroom or something similar
 
I rolled with a guy with a missing right leg and I shit you not, he pulled guard on me. He was also a cheap tactics motherfucker so every time I'd be thinking 'take it easy on this guy', he'd dig his thumb under my collarbone or put his hand over my mouth. I hate rolling with guys/girls a lot smaller than me who act as though I have to follow some rules and they are allowed to pull out bicep slicers or heel hooks.
 
ztt1 said:
Speaking of blind people.

We had a guy come in who was as blind as bat. As in he couldn't see ANYTHING. Well we did this drill as a warm up where you sprawled around in a circle. Well we did that 2x, and the instructor told us to do some shots. I adjusted myself back to the original position, but I guess the blind guy didn't because he took a shot right into a pillar that he had positioned himself in front of. It was a padded pillar, but he slammed his head right into it. I knew I was going to hell, but I had to force back some serious laughter. We asked him if it was OK and he was embarrassed, but that was kind of awkward for a second there.

This one time we had an instructor who listened to a lot of gay Euro dance. I mean really, really homo Euro techno. Well for a warm up we had to run laps around the mat and he would stay in the middle and call out instructions. We had a procedure in which we start by circling left facing the inside, then turn around and face the outside, hip switches, skips, jogs etc. When we did circles we also raised our arms in conjunction to our foot movement so it was like we were circling as we did jumping jacks. This seems gay on it's own, but for some reason the instructor who was standing in the middle thinks it would be alright to start doing cart wheels in the middle to warm up as well WHILE this ridiculously gay Euro dance was playing. So picture in your head 20 or so jacked dudes , some in board shorts, some in spandex fucking going around in circles doing jumping jacks, followed by hip switches, followed by skips as this big hairy 200lb (yet nimble) Iranian guy was doing cartwheels in the middle while the GAYEST Euro dance imaginable was blasting in the background. I felt so uncomfortable, at this surreal situation I had found myself in. I glanced to my right and I saw the guy beside me just glance at me and give me one of those "W..T..F" looks. I look over at the guy on my left and he's grinning his ass off. This circle, gay disco, aerobics cult went on for a good 2 minutes before thankfully, the song ended.
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I am sitting here in work crying laughing and people keep staring at me. LOL!
 
i got my head farted on in my very first class.. needless to say it put me off ever coming back / rolling with that guy again
 
dza76wutang said:
I was teaching an attack from mount to a woman who was rather endowed in the chest region and was walking her through the technique and it went like this:
Ok good now plant your feet on my hips
Ok good now grab my wrist
Ok good now climb higher in the mount
hmph mrph mphh *muffle muffle muffle*

Never occured to me going in that I'd end up "motorboating" halfway through the technique.
Click to expand...

Sureeee it didn't... You cad. ;)
 
viamurder said:
this guy had a steel cup and he had high mount on me and it was pressing really hard into my eye so i tapped.so he won via crouch eye gouge.
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I've experienced that as well. Damn MT cup gave me a black eye.
 
ztt1 said:
Speaking of blind people.

We had a guy come in who was as blind as bat. As in he couldn't see ANYTHING. Well we did this drill as a warm up where you sprawled around in a circle. Well we did that 2x, and the instructor told us to do some shots. I adjusted myself back to the original position, but I guess the blind guy didn't because he took a shot right into a pillar that he had positioned himself in front of. It was a padded pillar, but he slammed his head right into it. I knew I was going to hell, but I had to force back some serious laughter. We asked him if it was OK and he was embarrassed, but that was kind of awkward for a second there.

This one time we had an instructor who listened to a lot of gay Euro dance. I mean really, really homo Euro techno. Well for a warm up we had to run laps around the mat and he would stay in the middle and call out instructions. We had a procedure in which we start by circling left facing the inside, then turn around and face the outside, hip switches, skips, jogs etc. When we did circles we also raised our arms in conjunction to our foot movement so it was like we were circling as we did jumping jacks. This seems gay on it's own, but for some reason the instructor who was standing in the middle thinks it would be alright to start doing cart wheels in the middle to warm up as well WHILE this ridiculously gay Euro dance was playing. So picture in your head 20 or so jacked dudes , some in board shorts, some in spandex fucking going around in circles doing jumping jacks, followed by hip switches, followed by skips as this big hairy 200lb (yet nimble) Iranian guy was doing cartwheels in the middle while the GAYEST Euro dance imaginable was blasting in the background. I felt so uncomfortable, at this surreal situation I had found myself in. I glanced to my right and I saw the guy beside me just glance at me and give me one of those "W..T..F" looks. I look over at the guy on my left and he's grinning his ass off. This circle, gay disco, aerobics cult went on for a good 2 minutes before thankfully, the song ended.
Click to expand...

hahaaaa nice!
 
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