From my experience, yes, good female grapplers are able to catch less-good male grapplers. Of course there is a pretty big size and strength difference in some cases - but an athletic woman with experience will be able to hit quite a bit of stuff. Particularly small joint locks like wrist locks, leg locks etc which can kind of come out of nowhere and surprise some guys.
Athleticism is a big factor. A highly athletic experienced female grappler can be a problem for less athletic dudes. I've seen women who can demolish and repeatedly tap out some less athletic guys.
Of course all else being equal though, men have a huge advantage. I've never seen a woman who was competitive grappling against an athletic competitive upper belt male.