A**hole wizard grants you a super power

[Halifax]

The power to change everything to one written and spoken language. I mean from the start too, no long lost languages could exist.

Star trek have universal translators

Bye bye Penis

 

[Halifax]

The power to turn people retarded.

- Never been done before
- Can make Kim Jong harmless
- Retarded Rachel Maddow...could you tell the difference?

I am assuming in this alternate reality, if such an ability exists in any comic or video game, it counts as having been thought of

So yeah, some games have spells which cause opponents to go retarded.

Bye bye Penis

 

[k1ngjester]

My power would be everything I say to be whatever I say it to be. History shall be rewritten and the future will be according to what I predict.

My word is final.

 

[Fedorgasm]

My power would be everything I say to be whatever I say it to be. History shall be rewritten and the future will be according to what I predict.

My word is final.

Thanos with infinity gauntlet just took your penis.

 

[Fedorgasm]

The power to jerk dudes off with my mind. They'll try to fuck with me then all the sudden they'll be getting an invisible hand job rendering then useless.

Whenever I take a shit, it is immediately teleported into the mouth of the person committing the most heinous felony at the time.

All the shit, as in all the residue that left my rectum. That way I don't have to wipe either.

I want the power to gain physical strength from smelling farts, including my own.

These are fucking gold! You guys should work for marvel.

 

[k1ngjester]

Thanos with infinity gauntlet just took your penis.

Thanos was never born, my word is final.

 

[ziggs]

the ability to make any power tool unsafe....

well i think i already have that superpower

 

[The Clinch]

To be able to fly while spewing lava hot applesauce at will that causes me no harm.

 

[Desdinova]

The power to create and destroy strangelets.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strangelet

 

[GordoBarraBJJ]

I'd ask the asshole wizard to grant me the power to dominate all assholes and absorb their powers

<puh-lease75>

 

[Joe_Armstrong]

Beyonder like powers, but doesn't work on midgets.

Boom, never heard of before and I can solve Syria with it.

 

[lostdog000]

i can eat all the junk food i want, but it only makes me healthier

 

[elreece]

Mind control farts.

Who ever smells my farts falls under my control.

I could do some proper damage with this power.