Help I think I'm getting divorced

Oblivian said:
Agreed. Earlier I mentioned that understand the laws on divorce in his state first. In my state, everything is pretty much a formula. If there aren't custody issues or unusual circumstances, anyone should be able to figure out the split of assets (and equalization payment) as well as child support. Actually, the county will do the child support worksheet for you.
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This. I believe in my state everything is split down the middle...but I've never had to research it. That could get very complicated if there are businesses and multiple properties but for most it should be easy. I've seen so many people with less than 50k in net assets burn through more than half that amount in lawyer fees.
 
Forces to you, keep it up! Very cleverly and strongly from your side and the side of the wife will agree on parting without conflicts (as I understood it) For many, this process is one of the most unpleasant and painful periods in life. You can perfectly understand everything, you will not be alone. I think a professional lawyer will help you to sort things out. Do not be afraid of the future - you have more opportunities, you can do it!
 
Gaige said:
Forces to you, keep it up! Very cleverly and strongly from your side and the side of the wife will agree on parting without conflicts (as I understood it) For many, this process is one of the most unpleasant and painful periods in life. You can perfectly understand everything, you will not be alone. I think a professional lawyer will help you to sort things out. Do not be afraid of the future - you have more opportunities, you can do it!
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What made you decide to look for a thread like this?

-signed curious sherdogger-
 
saugeye killah said:
My wife and I have agreed in principle to getting divorced today. I'm really overwhelmed and have no idea what step to take first though. We have a daughter who's 13 and I have a step son from her who's 19. We've lived in this house we've been renting for almost 8 years and have deep roots laid down here. We have a TON of stuff, just to start with.

Also I live in Colorado where the cost of living is skyrocketing. The whole thing is really intimidating. On one hand I'm kind of "excited" (I guess) to be "free", but I'm really scared of change too if I'm being totally honest. We have almost nothing in common and I haven't been attracted to her for nearly 10 years. She's really dishonest with money and makes next to nothing at her job, so whenever I let her have my card I only get it back when I throw a fit because I discover it's in the red with a bunch of overdraft fees, etc....

I don't even know where to start. Holy shit, I'm scared. What's the first step?
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damn dude, that sucks. sorry to hear it. i think it goes without saying that you both need to make decisions that will benefit your kids. that is paramount. after that, try to be as amicable as you both can during this process. getting frustrated and stressed out isn't going to help the situation. and lastly, i see that you're in denver. i was there recently, and it appears to be a fantastic city to find women. i know i came across tons of super-attractive women there, so that's a positive.

good luck, man.
 
Get an attorney. She will try to bait you by saying that you can work it out amicably and then backdoor you by hiring an attorney of her own and try to take everything from you. Often times, even if someone has good intentions they consult some attorney who tells them all that he can get them and they see dollar signs. Protect yourself.
 
Should have kept banging her everyday and had a couple more kids.
 
Dusty Rhodes said:
lol @ Bumping this thread
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saugeye killah said:
My wife and I have agreed in principle to getting divorced today. I'm really overwhelmed and have no idea what step to take first though. We have a daughter who's 13 and I have a step son from her who's 19. We've lived in this house we've been renting for almost 8 years and have deep roots laid down here. We have a TON of stuff, just to start with.

Also I live in Colorado where the cost of living is skyrocketing. The whole thing is really intimidating. On one hand I'm kind of "excited" (I guess) to be "free", but I'm really scared of change too if I'm being totally honest. We have almost nothing in common and I haven't been attracted to her for nearly 10 years. She's really dishonest with money and makes next to nothing at her job, so whenever I let her have my card I only get it back when I throw a fit because I discover it's in the red with a bunch of overdraft fees, etc....

I don't even know where to start. Holy shit, I'm scared. What's the first step?
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Lawyer up, fast. If she thinks she is in control of your money when you were married, you can be sure she thinks it's all hers when you're divorced.

Don't hold grudges. Put your children first. Don't badmouth her to your kids. Go to the gym. Get a new wardrobe. Focus on yourself. Don't drink excessively.
 
mb23100 said:
You should probably get a lawyer. Don't believe anything she says about it being amicable. She's gonna hose you as bad as she can just like every other woman in the world.

I did work for a guy who lost everything in a divorce. Except his horses. He had a ranch which she got. So he was homeless with two horses and she wouldn't even let him keep them at the ranch.
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This is pretty much the story of every divorce I have ever seen. She already takes your cards and gets them into the red and is dishonest about money. This will continue as she is plotting to take you for alimony and lulling you into a false sense of "amiable" as she lawyers up to grand slam the split in her favor. You could lose up to 90% of your "half" and you almost certainly will end up paying alimony since you confessed she makes next to nothing at her job.

Alimony is one of the most outdated things that needs to be nerfed.
 
Halifax said:
This is pretty much the story of every divorce I have ever seen. She already takes your cards and gets them into the red and is dishonest about money. This will continue as she is plotting to take you for alimony and lulling you into a false sense of "amiable" as she lawyers up to grand slam the split in her favor. You could lose up to 90% of your "half" and you almost certainly will end up paying alimony since you confessed she makes next to nothing at her job.

Alimony is one of the most outdated things that needs to be nerfed.
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Alimony will always exist due to our culture. There have been several threads on here where parents or people who are talking about becoming parents perpetuate the idea of the wife not working. Many say things like "I don't want my wife working when we have kids" or things like "I don't want my kids being raised by some child care place". Well guess what? If you have a wife that had an earning potential, you've set up a status quo of the wife not working for the benefit of the children. Once that happens, it's a pretty easy argument for alimony or "maintenance" as other states call it. And honestly, it's a pretty sound argument too.
 
No matter what side you are on divorce sucks balls. One of the big realizations is that you need to set new life goals. I'm guessing as a married guy you had planned your life, like what you two will do in retirement, where you want to vacation and stuff. All plans involved your partner. Now you need to start over and plan it out again.

Good to get the advice of an attorney but try hard to avoid a protracted legal battle as the only winners will be the attorneys. I'm guessing you will go for 50/50 custody so make sure you get a nice place your daughter will be comfortable coming to and that is close to her school or whatever is important to her. The next five years will go fast as hell and she will be out of the house then. Try to make the most of it and enjoy the stretch drive of her childhood.

Good luck man and hang in there, you will come out on the other end just fine. Remember it take about a year to get figure out how to be single again.
 
Step 1: Get an Attorney
Step 2: DO NOT IGNORE STEP 1
Step 3: If you have joint accounts, take every penny this is yours but not one cent more. If separate accounts, congrats your money is safe.
Step 4: Put a stop on any and all credit cards.
Step 5: Buy a 55 gallon drum of lube and prepare to use it all, as the courts wont even give you a courtesy spit.
Step 6: Go bang a whore or 5. Get it while you can, cause once you have to start forking over 60% pre-taxes for alimony and child support you ain't gonna have enough to buy a pot to piss in.
 
rocketskates said:
Get an attorney. She will try to bait you by saying that you can work it out amicably and then backdoor you by hiring an attorney of her own and try to take everything from you. Often times, even if someone has good intentions they consult some attorney who tells them all that he can get them and they see dollar signs. Protect yourself.
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Baiting or not- all involved should get a legal opinion.
 
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