Legendary Self Defense stories...

TheCuttlefish said:
Sorry, you all fail compared to the California Kid

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Freaking CLASSIC!!!

Thread Over!
 
xMikeyX said:
I'm like 200 lbs (5'9") and at that time was like 190 doing yoga at least 2 hours a day, 7 days a week and studying Judo (in very good shape, very flexible, and also practicing striking with people 1 x a week, a boxing class 1 x a week, and a Bob dummy everytime I went to either yoga or anything else). I actually looked like I was 175 even though I was 190. I always have a smile on my face even when I try and act mad (which is pointless).

Blah blah, more message board vomit.
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Thank you for telling your life story and how great you are, I can man handle you at 165 with ease.
 
aww don't diss the OP, i heard he was 190 but so cut everyone thought he was 175...


also, i heard he was so intimidating he just talked sternly to putative attackers, and they fled in fear


he's a true american hero
 
I once ate a whole 20" pizza to myself.

It's not a self defence story but it IS legendary.
 
Brooklyn BJJ said:
Thank you for telling your life story and how great you are, I can man handle you at 165 with ease.
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:)

I love this place- have a story to tell or was that it?

I'm actually from Brooklyn which makes the brooklyn abuse sad to me- but gotta love how everyone from Brooklyn is like that- and it's all because of superior bagels. Bagel Muscles > Beer Muscles!
 
So I am at a gas station at night time and this homeless guy comes up to me asking for change. I tell him I don't have any change for him. As I pay the cashier and all and walking to my car, im talking on my cell phone when I see the same guy come up to me again and ask for change. I am like wtf I don't have any change. So the guy smells terrible from where I am at and I dont want to be near him. So I make my way to my car and i turn my back on him just thinking he is some wierdo. I look over my shoulder to see what he is doing and he is winding up to hit me! So I end up dropping my phone and ducking his punch and I am like dude what is your problem?! So then he comes at me again, really telegraphing his punch. So I end up moving my head out of the way and avoid that punch. And then I was like ok I have to do something about this. So then from there I stepped in and touched him with the jab. He ended up dying from aids.

true story.

Also LOL at all the "tales of the tape" in peoples stories
 
I wont' tell the whole backstory because it's stupid and I doubt you care. I will get to the good part.

I was 17. I was 6'4", 240ish and in pretty good shape. A drunk redneck, approximately 50 years old, blocked me from leaving my girlfriends house with his truck. He was probably 5'10", 190lbs. He got out and started cursing me for something I didn't even do. I kept asking him to move his truck. His family was watching everything. He got closer and closer until he had me backed up against my car. He then started shoving me. I told him if he touched me again I was going to hit him. He ran at me wit his hands up like he going to choke me. He was an idiot. He was like a zombie. I punched him between the eyes and it dropped him. He laid on the ground for about 30 seconds and got up and ran at me again. The same thing happened again. I hit him with a few straight punches and he dropped. The whole time his family was screaming at me for me to stop hitting him, yet they wouldn't get him away from me. He got up again and ran to his truck and grabbed an axe handle and ran towards me. I ran like hell and called the police. While I was calling the police he beat the headlights and taillights out of my car. I probably could have taken him even with the weapon, but why bother?

I got hom and had blood on my shirt. My dad asked what happened. I told him. He got in his car and came back about 20 mins later with blood on his shirt. My dad beat the guy up pretty bad.

I've been in many stupid pointless fights, but this is the only "self defense" story. The rest were fights where we both wanted to fight.

BTW....I grew up in rural Alabama if it makes this story make more sense.
 
JoshGrrrr said:
I wont' tell the whole backstory because it's stupid and I doubt you care. I will get to the good part.

I was 17. I was 6'4", 240ish and in pretty good shape. A drunk redneck, approximately 50 years old, blocked me from leaving my girlfriends house with his truck. He was probably 5'10", 190lbs. He got out and started cursing me for something I didn't even do. I kept asking him to move his truck. His family was watching everything. He got closer and closer until he had me backed up against my car. He then started shoving me. I told him if he touched me again I was going to hit him. He ran at me wit his hands up like he going to choke me. He was an idiot. He was like a zombie. I punched him between the eyes and it dropped him. He laid on the ground for about 30 seconds and got up and ran at me again. The same thing happened again. I hit him with a few straight punches and he dropped. The whole time his family was screaming at me for me to stop hitting him, yet they wouldn't get him away from me. He got up again and ran to his truck and grabbed an axe handle and ran towards me. I ran like hell and called the police. While I was calling the police he beat the headlights and taillights out of my car. I probably could have taken him even with the weapon, but why bother?

I got hom and had blood on my shirt. My dad asked what happened. I told him. He got in his car and came back about 20 mins later with blood on his shirt. My dad beat the guy up pretty bad.

I've been in many stupid pointless fights, but this is the only "self defense" story. The rest were fights where we both wanted to fight.

BTW....I grew up in rural Alabama if it makes this story make more sense.
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THANK YOU! That was a great story!
 
True Story:

I was on my way home from the place I train at when I decided to stop by Togo's and pick up a sandwhich. As I am heading in, I notice a couple of guys hassling some little kid coming out of Gamestop. So I head over and try and diffuse the situation when one of the guys started shoving me. I tried to step back (just to assess the situation) when I just said "f*ck it" and punched the bigger guy in the face-yet I never noticed the truckload of that guy's friends sitting in a car accross the street. So me and this kid start running away from this angry mob when we whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had a dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air .I pulled up to a house about seven or eight And I yelled to the cabby yo, homes smell you later Looked at my kingdom I was finally there To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air

Lulz
 
you got in one little fight and your mom got scared?


so you had to move in with your uncle and aunt in bel air?
 
Guys riding double on a bike, coming towards me as I walk down the street. I see the pedaller steer towards me, and made a little room for him to pass.

I figured they could be drunk...

They pass close by, and the guy on the back yells out "Bitch!" and pops me on the side of my head behind the ear. It was actually kinda funny.

So seeing as I was still standing I turned around, took a short jog and grabbed the puncher's hoody hood, pulling him off the bike. He hit the ground hard and surprised, and a head stomp ended that.

His chickenshit buddy kept going. Called the cops, waited for them, explained it, and the guy's still cold out, mumbling.

I'm a small guy, proud to be keeping other small guys protected; those assholes may have thought twice about their targets in the futum.
 
So there I was the floor was coverd in hot lava and this dragon gave my this look.

a stink eye you may think but no

a crook eye but no the evil eye

yadda yadda yadda I pulled guard an armbarred him
 
Mr. Switch said:
I once ate a whole 20" pizza to myself.

It's not a self defence story but it IS legendary.
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My mate would totally kill you i na competitive eating comp
nortmal intake of food for him

1:Breakfest
oatmeal porridge about 3-4dl and a bowl of sour milk

2:eek:n his way to work a plate of mashed potatoes and suasauges 8normal gasstation food in Sweden) a sizeable slab of shrimp cocktail on that

3: second breakfest at work around 9-10-ish some sandwiches

4: lunch most often a eat all you can eat buff
 
nogistudent said:
Guys riding double on a bike, coming towards me as I walk down the street. I see the pedaller steer towards me, and made a little room for him to pass.

I figured they could be drunk...

They pass close by, and the guy on the back yells out "Bitch!" and pops me on the side of my head behind the ear. It was actually kinda funny.

So seeing as I was still standing I turned around, took a short jog and grabbed the puncher's hoody hood, pulling him off the bike. He hit the ground hard and surprised, and a head stomp ended that.

His chickenshit buddy kept going. Called the cops, waited for them, explained it, and the guy's still cold out, mumbling.

I'm a small guy, proud to be keeping other small guys protected; those assholes may have thought twice about their targets in the futum.
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I have kicked a guy of his moped once, or rahter I aimed for him and hit his moped:redface: while he was moving so he busted the moped up some, him and his crew got up started the usual wtf act, I promptly called his big-borther( a mate of mine) said I was going to kick his little brothers ass if he didn't came straight away. so I threw him into the ditch and sat on him until the brother arrived:D
 
nogistudent said:
Guys riding double on a bike, coming towards me as I walk down the street. I see the pedaller steer towards me, and made a little room for him to pass.

I figured they could be drunk...

They pass close by, and the guy on the back yells out "Bitch!" and pops me on the side of my head behind the ear. It was actually kinda funny.

So seeing as I was still standing I turned around, took a short jog and grabbed the puncher's hoody hood, pulling him off the bike. He hit the ground hard and surprised, and a head stomp ended that.

His chickenshit buddy kept going. Called the cops, waited for them, explained it, and the guy's still cold out, mumbling.

I'm a small guy, proud to be keeping other small guys protected; those assholes may have thought twice about their targets in the futum.
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I'm not sure but I think this makes you guilty of assault and I think the cops would have said as much. I don't believe you. I think this happened in your head mostly.
 
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