SBBC: Problems with the boss

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thanks, young lady.
nor do I hate you.
I think you're an inspiration to all former fuckups
including myself
 
Graverobber said:
now you're just spamming
are you a bot?
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Okay let me play the tape back for you. I was having a convo about DUI law, and you felt the need to interject your shriveled dick into the convo talking bout how you're some expert and all this shit. So I was like "ok" and I proceeded to ignore your outburst and finish my point with the other poster I was having the fucking conversation with

But you kept in swinging your light switch around as if anyone gives a fuck. So here, the forum is yours. Expound on DUI law please so we can just get this done with already:
 
faustian said:
I did the roadsides because I knew I could pull it off. But, the lengths the bastard went to in order to fuck with me. He actually drove me from a well-lit side road to an empty parking lot on a slope with fucking sprinklers going off. I still killed the roadsides, in spite of all that

***Pro tip: when they ask you to follow their finger, just stare straight ahead. They're trying to get you to sway in front of the camera. I knew this and just stared straight ahead and the cop flipped the fuck out lmao, but on the video all could see is me just acting compliant while this asshole was losing his shit***

So after nailing the roadsides he of course put me in cuffs and then once again demanded I blow. lol. Once you're in cuffs you're getting booked regardless.

I got hooked up with an attorney who was actually a law professor at UF, and he wanted to take the plea the state was offering. Attorneys hate to go to trial so that didn't surprise me. I rejected the plea of reckless driving (which carried the same penalties) and asserted my right to trial by jury

I sat in with my attorney and picked the jury which was an experience money can't buy. The forewoman was a former UF tennis player

Trial took a day, only witnesses were my gf and brother and then the arresting cop. I almost felt bad for the guy, he was asked why he pulled me over in the first place and he literally had no answer lmao

Jury went to deliberate, within 2 mins they requested the vid of my roadsides, 5 mins later they came back with an acquittal
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Nah we ask you to follow the finger or light to look for vertical and horizontal gaze nystagmus, which is where the pupils “jump” instead of tracking smoothly. It’s literally like the only scientific aspect of the standardized field sobriety test. But how you handled it was brilliant, no doubt.
 
Damn

Someone i went to school with got arrested for shaking his baby so hard its brain bled and fractured its leg
 
faustian said:
Okay let me play the tape back for you. So here, the forum is yours.
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hm, your Honor I object on the grounds that this "tape" was obtained without my client being read his Miranda rights as required by law, therefore I move this 'evidence' be suppressed and the witness be held to testify in open court.
 
lol at frausto getting so rustled over random, insignificant forum banter.
how the fuck are you going to stand up in a court of law?
smh
 
Animal Cracker said:
Nah we ask you to follow the finger or light to look for vertical and horizontal gaze nystagmus, which is where the pupils “jump” instead of tracking smoothly. It’s literally like the only scientific aspect of the standardized field sobriety test. But how you handled it was brilliant, no doubt.
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<TrumpWrong1>

My plan of pretending to blow into the machine is likely the GOAT strategy. If there is no breath going into the machine it can't measure shit. That was a long time ago, but I haven't heard a better idea yet. Too bad I was dealing with a real fucking Ben Matlock at the time, otherwise I would have been fine.
 
srsly, who the fuck does that?
shake a baby?
just leave the house and go to a bar or a pilates class.
 
Graverobber said:
hm, your Honor I object on the grounds that this "tape" was obtained without my client being read his Miranda rights as required by law, therefore I move this 'evidence' be suppressed and the witness be held to testify in open court.
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That makes no sense but okay
 
Miranda only covers post-arrest investigation and evidence collection

You should know this Graves
 
El Chimpo said:
Damn

Someone i went to school with got arrested for shaking his baby so hard its brain bled and fractured its leg
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In the past homeless treated your house like a mecca. Now it seems you post daily about people around you dying. Hope I never happen to meet you.
 
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