So I finally finished losing everything

[I Am Legion]

The only quote that ever seems real and true to me is “This too shall pass”.
Whenever things get tough I think that because I know it to be true. Just like great things never last forever, neither do shitty things. The key is to get your mind in a better place. Only you know how to do that, as it’s a personal thing. For me, my dog and nature help. Sometimes a great movie or book. Always a blow job.

 

[blaseblase]

I'm in my 40s now and haven't formed any sort of new meaningful relationship in over a decade now.

That is entirely on you. Take responsibility. You still have time to turn it around.

 

[FyrFytr998]

Mike. Hold fast son. Evaluate where you want to be. Formulate a plan to get yourself on that path. I know plenty of solitary people that are perfectly happy. Self pity is for the defeated.

 

[chimpoehurricane]

 

[chimpoehurricane]

Mike. Hold fast son. Evaluate where you want to be. Formulate a plan to get yourself on that path. I know plenty of solitary people that are perfectly happy. Self pity is for the defeated.

Yeah. There's a incel community subscribed to dooms day notions. It's pretty damn pathetic.

 

[deviake]

I don't, but I also don't mind sharing details. It was a two step deal. I left my original job last November. I was burned out and mentally checked out. I decided to take a break because I had money saved. Being around the house more ended up not being good. My friend's wife is a rude cunt and generally I just ignore it. After a couple months of constant passive aggressive rude bullshit, I blew up one day and told my friend privately to tell her to leave me alone. Just not talk to me at all, and if she has something to say relay it through him. Because I was done with the rudeness and wasn't gonna tolerate it anymore.

Prior to that I would generally stay in my room when home, but would come down to watch fights with him or otherwise hang out at his request. Well she gets jealous if she feels like I'm talking to him too much, she feels like it takes attention away from her. so she'll constantly have little rude things to say, or will straight up interrupt conversations to go what about meeeeeee. So following that I stopped coming down to hang out at all. Just stayed in my room, wanted to avoid drama.

Then their kids started stealing from me. First the younger kids stealing my food out of the fridge. Then obvious signs they had been in my room going thru my things. Finally, the oldest child went in my room while I was at work, rifled though my things, and stole my weed. I knew immediately when I got home, and knew who was responsible. I told the parents and they turned his room upside down and found my stuff. No apology, at any step of this from anyone. Then I get locks and put them on my door. At my own expense, for some fucking reason. Then about a week after that I noticed something missing again. Knowing I wouldn't get an appropriate response from them, because they are shit parents, I went directly to the oldest boy and put the fear of god in him.

I think that's what pushed the kids mom to tell him she wanted me gone. I've gone over and over and over it and really fucking struggle to see how I'm the one in the wrong here. But I'm sure being treated like I am. Which is unacceptable for me.

I've been on the fields of battle in this kind of psychological warfare before. Childhood and with friend's and relative's toxic partners. You made the right decision leaving. That shit will make you fucking insane and create a fucking demon.

 

[deviake]

Is there a reason why she was being rude? What exactly would she do or say to be rude? I'm just having a hard time thinking that you're just innocently floating around while she just has random outbursts of rudeness.

There must be some intelligible complaint coming out of the wife.

Consider yourself very, very fortunate to not have ever dealt with an extremely toxic, manipulative person(s). It's not an experience I'd wish on anyone. I've been through what he's went through but in different circumstances, both with friends and family. I can say with a strong degree of certainty based on my own experiences that he's not bullshitting. No offense but your naivete here is quite striking to someone who's lived through the hell of damaged, high conflict, manipulative people.

 

[TheTickG]

Some of you are aware of my general situation. About five years ago I moved out here for work with my best and last remaining friend. Great success on the finding work, but not much else is working out.

Anyways the first couple years after I moved here I was living on my own. I was struggling, my friend was struggling, so me and him and his family started renting a house together. We've been doing that for three years now. Well some shit popped off and I ended up moving out. I find the way shit played out pretty unforgivable. His wife is a cunt, and her family are the only people I really associate with other than my friend. So my entire small social circle is gone now.

My pseudo family that I've spent every holiday and special occasion with for the last 5 years. And my best friend since 2007. The only thing that's really been a consistent and stable part of my life for the last 15 years. Gone. I've been through so much loss, abandonment, and betrayal that it's basically no big deal now. Never trust anyone or get particularly close to anyone anymore. But this shit stilll stings. I thought I'd already lost everything I could lose. I didn't think I could really lose the last person that gives a shit about me. I'm more mad at myself for ever thinking I can trust anyone or rely on them in any way. Shoulda known better by now.

Is it possible that when it comes to making friends, you take a very very lazy approach? Then, because of your lazy approach, you get very bad results. Therefore, it isn't a case of you getting screwed over, but instead it is a case of you not putting in the correct time/effort/thought into building proper relationships?

Because if the only people you associated with for over a decade is one friend, one "cunt", and one "cunt's family," it sounds like you chose to be in the situation you're in.

But, I don't really know your life, so...

 

[mozfonky]

Is it possible that when it comes to making friends, you take a very very lazy approach? Then, because of your lazy approach, you get very bad results. Therefore, it isn't a case of you getting screwed over, but instead it is a case of you not putting in the correct time/effort/thought into building proper relationships?

Because if the only people you associated with for over a decade is one friend, one "cunt", and one "cunt's family," it sounds like you chose to be in the situation you're in.

But, I don't really know your life, so...

You know what I tell people when they say, "maybe it's you?" These days? I tell them I don't care who it is, I don't have time for the bullshit, we all get older and we all die. How others want to spend their time is their business, doesn't make sense to spend it bickering over silly shit.

 

[EL CORINTHIAN]

Consider yourself very, very fortunate to not have ever dealt with an extremely toxic, manipulative person(s). It's not an experience I'd wish on anyone. I've been through what he's went through but in different circumstances, both with friends and family. I can say with a strong degree of certainty based on my own experiences that he's not bullshitting. No offense but your naivete here is quite striking to someone who's lived through the hell of damaged, high conflict, manipulative people.

I'd have to say the same for you actually. You're just taking the story whole-sale as if it's settled. That's it, it's one particular individual, the wife/mother of a family, not the 40 year old who isn't exactly a part of the equation. You have no details other than "trust me bro" and yet......I'm the naive one? You seem the Type to jump to conclusions prematurely. "Consider yourself very, very fortunate to not have ever dealt with an extremely toxic, manipulative person(s)...." Like, how would you even know if I have or haven't?

Truth be told, I know what toxic people look and sound like. The fact that you can't pick up on certain elements within the his thread suggest the opposite of what your currently telling me.

Life Tip:
Maybe if you weren't so immediately trusting or naive yourself, you wouldn't have such vast experience with manipulative cunts. It says something about you when they are attracted to you like mosquitoes to a light. But it isn't surprising when you are as eager as you are to affirm beliefs/stories.

 

[sleepwalk]

Sucks, man. Sorry to hear about all this.

Seems like you've been through it enough times that "You get to start a whole new adventure!" doesn't really sound appealing.

Best I got is well wishes. A lot of folks ITT giving you a lot to think about and trying out what they say is likely to lead to a W (or at least some peace of mind) as you work through this.

EDIT: Ever thought of joining a volunteer firehouse?

 

[panem-et-circenses]

I remember the prior thread. We’re all rooting for you, Sherbro.

it sounds like the family you were staying with had a white trash streak. It’s probably best you got out of there.

 

[Streeter]

On bright side TS has undoubtedly gone on an EPIC finding streak since original post was made.

 

[deviake]

I'd have to say the same for you actually. You're just taking the story whole-sale as if it's settled. That's it, it's one particular individual, the wife/mother of a family, not the 40 year old who isn't exactly a part of the equation. You have no details other than "trust me bro" and yet......I'm the naive one? You seem the Type to jump to conclusions prematurely. "Consider yourself very, very fortunate to not have ever dealt with an extremely toxic, manipulative person(s)...." Like, how would you even know if I have or haven't?

Truth be told, I know what toxic people look and sound like. The fact that you can't pick up on certain elements within the his thread suggest the opposite of what your currently telling me.

Life Tip:
Maybe if you weren't so immediately trusting or naive yourself, you wouldn't have such vast experience with manipulative cunts. It says something about you when they are attracted to you like mosquitoes to a light. But it isn't surprising when you are as eager as you are to affirm beliefs/stories.

I didn't choose who my mom was bro. I wouldn't have chosen an abusive one with NPD. Others I was exposed to through friends and family and I have no one like that in my life presently. The last toxic person I dealt with was due to a family member's poor choices and I cut them off. Due to circumstances I briefly had to deal with them again before ending communication again.

As for the rest, I trust my intuition and he's also given details on more than one occasion.

Your whole analysis is pretty far off, and that you mentioned "jumping to conclusions" is pretty delicious. Anyway, I don't want to make this thread about our disagreement.

 

[no fat chicks]

Posting to remind you that you got this buddy. Keep pushing forward

 

[Trabaho]

I've known him for years. He needs a bit of comfort, he isn't someone who can't be fucked to do anything. He's just in a bit of a bad state at the moment. He's a good bloke.

If it was social media I'd agree that you know him but with forums you might a quarter know him

 

[Trabaho]

We all got self bias. Also sounds like victim syndrome. I been down several times in my life. Was it my fault, yes, was it intentional no. We can't judge everything but look for progress. Whatever is in the past we can't undo it. No matter how stupid it was or regrettable.

But start believing other people are just as good as you and as smart as you. And start thinking you are just as many times as others wrong and your opinion isn't always the sole right one.

I don't know if I put it in any way that is clear to understand, am not a native English speaker.

I made bad choices too and learned behaviours that were destroying me.

But you gotta keep pushing and be open minded. Maybe it's you. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's all of us. Someone being a bad person for you, still means you chose that person. They didn't follow you around. But we all been dealt cards we been dealt with. Still we make many decisions daily too.

I think you're in a rut and need motivation and inspiration. Something that you love and inspires you.

Also learning some job that's fulfilling or easier to live with.

Then not being lazy, giving a dam bout your health and how you look. Look better attract better. Get fit and nice. Dress nice. Not expensive but nice. Style, hair, Beard ect. The way you talk. Your manners and politeness.

Life was never perfect but I know rich people who grew up privliged fall into depressions and problems too. Can only do the best with the hands you've been dealt with. In the end you just wanna be happy. So do what makes you happy.

If I was gonna write a stroy bout the things that went wrong in my life, I'd would take me a while all while feeling embarrassed so I keep it private.

Just gain power, trough motivation and will. Want to be a great person and make a great life for yourself.

Being sad and feeling bad about everything is a habbit too. Just like I could blame people some people also could blame me for my wrong doings.
Don't repeat words like they did this, I feel sorry for myself, everyone is mean to me I am the victim. You can't be innocent every single time.

I'm wishing you better days and know that you can handle it all and have fun and enjoy life. You are strong and smart.

Good luck, God and the universe got your back.

 

[Anewt]

I'm just a lurker on your posts mate. But you seem quite reasonable and are more open with yourself than many on here. Myself included. I don't have any wise words or anything like that.

You have goals by the sounds of it and things to strive for, keep them firmly in your mind and one step at a time inch your way to them, nothing will change overnight, but nothing is hopeless mate regardless how you may feel.

 

[machidafan99]

Nah, if you have your health you are good. You'll find other friends. Leave those bums alone and simply move on.

Some of you are aware of my general situation. About five years ago I moved out here for work with my best and last remaining friend. Great success on the finding work, but not much else is working out.

Anyways the first couple years after I moved here I was living on my own. I was struggling, my friend was struggling, so me and him and his family started renting a house together. We've been doing that for three years now. Well some shit popped off and I ended up moving out. I find the way shit played out pretty unforgivable. His wife is a cunt, and her family are the only people I really associate with other than my friend. So my entire small social circle is gone now.

My pseudo family that I've spent every holiday and special occasion with for the last 5 years. And my best friend since 2007. The only thing that's really been a consistent and stable part of my life for the last 15 years. Gone. I've been through so much loss, abandonment, and betrayal that it's basically no big deal now. Never trust anyone or get particularly close to anyone anymore. But this shit stilll stings. I thought I'd already lost everything I could lose. I didn't think I could really lose the last person that gives a shit about me. I'm more mad at myself for ever thinking I can trust anyone or rely on them in any way. Shoulda known better by now.

 

[Estemachine]

If there was one thing I can tell you is this, wherever you find yourself in life, your best thinking got you there..

Meaning you have to take ownership for your current situation, no more "she betrayed me, he sucks, I'm a victim" I'm not saying those things didn't happen, I'm saying you have to stop acting like a victim and start finding ways for you to be happy and grateful again.

Since you say there's nothing or anyone out there for you currently, this is the perfect time for you to start thinking and creating the life of your dreams from scratch, look at this as an opportunity to be and do what you always dream of.

Very importantly stop having feeling of hate towards anyone from the past (even if it was true) or anyone you could possibly meet in the future since that type of thinking will continue to attract that type of people, situations and environment that reflect your thinking.

Start focusing your energy, thought process, will power and focus on what you DO want not what you DONT want.

Try this easy morning meditation for starters.



Exercise, meditate, improve your diet, read books, and start practicing gratitude, it is your life and no one is coming to rescue you, it is your destiny so start creating it with a more positive state of mind.


This is coming from someone who has been at the absolute bottom, and know what it feels like to feel hopeless.