I can't learn how to play guitar because I'm afraid of guitar strings

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Clippy, Apr 16, 2018.

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  1. ShinkanPo

    ShinkanPo 風 林 火 山

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    Ass Phobia
     
    ShinkanPo, Apr 16, 2018
    #61
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  2. mmaelitefan000

    mmaelitefan000 Brown Belt

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    play guitar hero than.
     
    mmaelitefan000, Apr 16, 2018
    #62
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  3. icemanliddell

    icemanliddell Purple Belt

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    Use a Seaboard RISE then...

     
    icemanliddell, Apr 16, 2018
    #63
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  4. RawHawg

    RawHawg Black Belt

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    As long as you eat pop rocks and drink diet coke while you are playing guitar, the strings will not snap and hurt you - but your stomach will explode and you will die
     
    RawHawg, Apr 17, 2018
    #64
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  5. MadSquabbles500

    MadSquabbles500 Steel Belt

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    Just wear a hockey helmet with the full face visor. Problem solved. No way those strings gunning bust through that clear plastic. Those things designed to take pucks.
     
    MadSquabbles500, Apr 17, 2018
    #65
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  6. Medulla Omoplata

    Medulla Omoplata Black Belt

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    Usually my pack of polar bears keeps me warm but they're off hunting the spring caribou migration before the ice pack melts.
     
    Medulla Omoplata, Apr 17, 2018
    #66
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  7. Clippy

    Clippy ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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    Oh shit you didn't get the memo ... how embarassing

    The ice packs aren't melting this year
     
    Clippy, Apr 17, 2018
    #67
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  8. FacePunch

    FacePunch Banned Banned

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    Time to bust out that seal-blubber heater.
     
    FacePunch, Apr 17, 2018
    #68
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  9. Medulla Omoplata

    Medulla Omoplata Black Belt

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    Then where the fuck are my polar bears?

    Leave my wife out of this
     
    Medulla Omoplata, Apr 17, 2018
    #69
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  10. FacePunch

    FacePunch Banned Banned

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    [​IMG]
     
    FacePunch, Apr 17, 2018
    #70
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  11. Medulla Omoplata

    Medulla Omoplata Black Belt

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    Would
     
    Medulla Omoplata, Apr 17, 2018
    #71
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  12. Watcha gunna doo

    Watcha gunna doo Green Belt

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    I find this strangely arousing
     
    Watcha gunna doo, Apr 17, 2018
    #72
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  13. aldeniro78

    aldeniro78 Who cares

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    That disgusts me
     
    aldeniro78, Apr 17, 2018
    #73
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  14. PG29 red0 Jr

    PG29 red0 Jr Purple Belt

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    If only someone in the mayberry could put together a full mental profile of clippy based off all his threads.
     
    PG29 red0 Jr, Apr 17, 2018
    #74
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  15. Medulla Omoplata

    Medulla Omoplata Black Belt

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    Legend says if you read all of @Clippy's threads back-to-back you become him, destined to post bizarre shit on Sherdog until the next unlucky soul falls prey to the Curse of Clippy. Like a virtual ship of Theseus, Clippy lives forever.
     
    Medulla Omoplata, Apr 17, 2018
    #75
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  16. PG29 red0 Jr

    PG29 red0 Jr Purple Belt

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    What happened to that Wang character that Clippy vanquished from the mayberry. Rumors were that he was found unconscious with a guitar string wrapped around his neck and a paperclip in his pocket.
     
    PG29 red0 Jr, Apr 17, 2018
    #76
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  17. Clippy

    Clippy ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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    Clippy, Apr 17, 2018
    #77
  18. Damien Karras

    Damien Karras Mirabile dichtu, don't you agree?

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    You see, the strings represent your father's constant belittling and judgment of you as a child. The gutar represents your mother's comfy bosom.

    You are drawn to the warmth and comfort of the guitar but are repulsed by the presence of the strings. The strings have tension which is representative of you and your father's relationship. Tell me about you dreams. This just cost you 150 dollars. Future consults are 175.
     
    Damien Karras, Apr 17, 2018
    #78
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  19. Clippy

    Clippy ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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    The jokes on you I never met my Dad
     
    Clippy, Apr 17, 2018
    #79
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  20. Damien Karras

    Damien Karras Mirabile dichtu, don't you agree?

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    Then it just means you're gay
     
    Damien Karras, Apr 17, 2018
    #80
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