I can't learn how to play guitar because I'm afraid of guitar strings

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Clippy, Apr 16, 2018.

  1. ShinkanPo

    ShinkanPo Steel Belt

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  2. mmaelitefan000

    mmaelitefan000 Brown Belt

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    play guitar hero than.
     
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  3. icemanliddell

    icemanliddell Purple Belt

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    Use a Seaboard RISE then...

     
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  4. RawHawg

    RawHawg Black Belt

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    As long as you eat pop rocks and drink diet coke while you are playing guitar, the strings will not snap and hurt you - but your stomach will explode and you will die
     
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  5. MadSquabbles500

    MadSquabbles500 Gold Belt

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    Just wear a hockey helmet with the full face visor. Problem solved. No way those strings gunning bust through that clear plastic. Those things designed to take pucks.
     
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  6. Medulla Omoplata

    Medulla Omoplata Brown Belt

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    Usually my pack of polar bears keeps me warm but they're off hunting the spring caribou migration before the ice pack melts.
     
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  7. Clippy

    Clippy ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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    Oh shit you didn't get the memo ... how embarassing

    The ice packs aren't melting this year
     
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  8. FacePunch

    FacePunch Banned Banned

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    Time to bust out that seal-blubber heater.
     
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  9. Medulla Omoplata

    Medulla Omoplata Brown Belt

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    Then where the fuck are my polar bears?

    Leave my wife out of this
     
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  10. FacePunch

    FacePunch Banned Banned

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    [​IMG]
     
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  11. Medulla Omoplata

    Medulla Omoplata Brown Belt

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    Would
     
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  12. Watcha gunna doo

    Watcha gunna doo Blue Belt

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    I find this strangely arousing
     
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  13. aldeniro78

    aldeniro78 Who cares

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    That disgusts me
     
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  14. PG29 red0 Jr

    PG29 red0 Jr Purple Belt

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    If only someone in the mayberry could put together a full mental profile of clippy based off all his threads.
     
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  15. Medulla Omoplata

    Medulla Omoplata Brown Belt

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    Legend says if you read all of @Clippy's threads back-to-back you become him, destined to post bizarre shit on Sherdog until the next unlucky soul falls prey to the Curse of Clippy. Like a virtual ship of Theseus, Clippy lives forever.
     
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  16. PG29 red0 Jr

    PG29 red0 Jr Purple Belt

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    What happened to that Wang character that Clippy vanquished from the mayberry. Rumors were that he was found unconscious with a guitar string wrapped around his neck and a paperclip in his pocket.
     
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  17. Clippy

    Clippy ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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  18. Damien Karras

    Damien Karras Mirabile dichtu, don't you agree?

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    You see, the strings represent your father's constant belittling and judgment of you as a child. The gutar represents your mother's comfy bosom.

    You are drawn to the warmth and comfort of the guitar but are repulsed by the presence of the strings. The strings have tension which is representative of you and your father's relationship. Tell me about you dreams. This just cost you 150 dollars. Future consults are 175.
     
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  19. Clippy

    Clippy ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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    The jokes on you I never met my Dad
     
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  20. Damien Karras

    Damien Karras Mirabile dichtu, don't you agree?

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    Then it just means you're gay
     
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