I can't learn how to play guitar because I'm afraid of guitar strings | Page 4

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Clippy, Apr 16, 2018 at 10:17 AM.

  1. ShinkanPo Gold Belt

    ShinkanPo
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    #61
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  2. mmaelitefan000 Brown Belt

    mmaelitefan000
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    play guitar hero than.
     
    #62
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  3. icemanliddell Purple Belt

    icemanliddell
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    Use a Seaboard RISE then...

     
    #63
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  4. RawHawg Black Belt

    RawHawg
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    As long as you eat pop rocks and drink diet coke while you are playing guitar, the strings will not snap and hurt you - but your stomach will explode and you will die
     
    #64
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  5. MadSquabbles500 Gold Belt

    MadSquabbles500
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    Just wear a hockey helmet with the full face visor. Problem solved. No way those strings gunning bust through that clear plastic. Those things designed to take pucks.
     
    #65
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  6. Medulla Omoplata Brown Belt

    Medulla Omoplata
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    Usually my pack of polar bears keeps me warm but they're off hunting the spring caribou migration before the ice pack melts.
     
    #66
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  7. Clippy Ask me about chocolate bars

    Clippy
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    Oh shit you didn't get the memo ... how embarassing

    The ice packs aren't melting this year
     
    #67
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  8. FacePunch Black Belt

    FacePunch
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    Time to bust out that seal-blubber heater.
     
    #68
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  9. Medulla Omoplata Brown Belt

    Medulla Omoplata
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    Then where the fuck are my polar bears?

    Leave my wife out of this
     
    #69
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  10. FacePunch Black Belt

    FacePunch
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    [​IMG]
     
    #70
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  11. Medulla Omoplata Brown Belt

    Medulla Omoplata
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    Would
     
    #71
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  12. Watcha gunna doo Yellow Card

    Watcha gunna doo
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    I find this strangely arousing
     
    #72
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  13. aldeniro78 Doo Doo Belt

    aldeniro78
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    That disgusts me
     
    #73
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  14. PG29 red0 Jr Purple Belt

    PG29 red0 Jr
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    If only someone in the mayberry could put together a full mental profile of clippy based off all his threads.
     
    #74
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  15. Medulla Omoplata Brown Belt

    Medulla Omoplata
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    Legend says if you read all of @Clippy's threads back-to-back you become him, destined to post bizarre shit on Sherdog until the next unlucky soul falls prey to the Curse of Clippy. Like a virtual ship of Theseus, Clippy lives forever.
     
    #75
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  16. PG29 red0 Jr Purple Belt

    PG29 red0 Jr
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    What happened to that Wang character that Clippy vanquished from the mayberry. Rumors were that he was found unconscious with a guitar string wrapped around his neck and a paperclip in his pocket.
     
    #76
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  17. Clippy Ask me about chocolate bars

    Clippy
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    #77
  18. Sebchenier Mirabile dichtu, don't you agree?

    Sebchenier
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    You see, the strings represent your father's constant belittling and judgment of you as a child. The gutar represents your mother's comfy bosom.

    You are drawn to the warmth and comfort of the guitar but are repulsed by the presence of the strings. The strings have tension which is representative of you and your father's relationship. Tell me about you dreams. This just cost you 150 dollars. Future consults are 175.
     
    #78
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  19. Clippy Ask me about chocolate bars

    Clippy
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    The jokes on you I never met my Dad
     
    #79
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  20. Sebchenier Mirabile dichtu, don't you agree?

    Sebchenier
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    Then it just means you're gay
     
    #80
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