The addiction/depression thread.

[Goonerview]

I would say ride it as long as you can. If you don't have the shakes that's a good sign.



Hmm I'll have to check it out, once a negative thought pattern takes over I'm essentially beholden to those thoughts. What's weird with my performance anxiety is it's not bombing that gives me anxiety, I've bombed before and generally I'm pretty comfortable onstage with a shitty crowd/having a bad set. It's always the moments before a show that make me start shaking and kick my fight or flight complex into high gear.

Yeah, I know. After reading this book, I realized that you are not your thoughts and you are not your emotions.

Who you are is above that and you can learn to observe your thoughts and emotions that come and go intermittently.

From our childhood, there exists "pain bodies", these are like egoistic characters that are inside us and come out when triggered and if not made conscious can "become us" for a short time.

The art of letting go. It's hard, because sometimes you feel attached to or even define yourself by these thoughts/emotions.

Practice being aware of them and then let go, be who you really are. This is what I have learned recently.

 

[scorpipede]

What are you talking about? So the times you use it are the times you are normal? and the times you dont use it you are not? Thats why when users do something fucked up they blame it on drugs but thats normal right?

Yeah I have no idea what I am talking about...

It's pretty close to that I think. I have substance issues that come from my mental health issues. I've thought about suicide from a really young age and made multiple attempts. There's something off about my normal chemistry. I've been close to being diagnosed bipolar or schizophrenic and each time it seems like I'll be diagnosed I always manage to convince myself it is time to move on from treatment. <Lmaoo><Lmaoo><Lmaoo>

Anyway, as far as you're concerned it's good you don't really understand it. Peeps with addictive tendencies have it tough but it's hard to see the core of their troubles when they really are doing it to themselves.

People need help and need to reach out for it. It's very difficult but can be rewarding. Also a huge relief. Sometimes it starts a much better life. 

 

[Gazwald]

It definitely has addiction potential. If it shows up on occasion on drug screens for people who are not prescribed it, then that tells me they obvious are getting something enjoyable out of it if they are buying it off the street. It's less commonly abused, true. As far as common benzos with less recreational value, possibly oxazepam. It has probably even a slower rate of absorption and onset of action.

Oxazepam is far from commonly prescribed and even that's debatable. I didn't say it was non addictive, i said it was prescribed on detox partly because it has little recreational compared to other benzos. I gave 2 examples (valium, xanax). Even valium and Xanax are softcore compared to say midazolam, bromazepam or triazolam, which are as addictive as a lot of opioids/opiates.

I'll just say, this is a support thread where people are supporting each other. You're arguing semantics with me over a statement you can't actually disagree with and you're telling another poster that you know better than his doctor. You might want to reel it in a bit.

 

[AgonyandIrony]

what bro tried to kill himself?

There's a couple threads up and a support thread. I would feel bad just name dropping. I'm sure he's trying to get over it.

Yeah, I know. After reading this book, I realized that you are not your thoughts and you are not your emotions.

Who you are is above that and you can learn to observe your thoughts and emotions that come and go intermittently.

From our childhood, there exists "pain bodies", these are like egoistic characters that are inside us and come out when triggered and if not made conscious can "become us" for a short time.

The art of letting go. It's hard, because sometimes you feel attached to or even define yourself by these thoughts/emotions.

Practice being aware of them and then let go, be who you really are. This is what I have learned recently.

Joe Rogan says that quite a bit about how you're not your thoughts and you're not your emotions, I've been doing better about not getting anxious, I have a weird nervous cough when I start feeling panicky I'm trying to get under control and I have trouble breathing.

Hell I've done shows out of state that went well, but I was shaking the whole time. A lot of people don't understand the problem with anxiety is there's also a lot of physical aspects to it as well.

 

[Davem10]

As silly as it may sound I'm addicted to food

Only recently realised there is an official name called binge eating disorder

I don't say I have a disorder as that sounds like a crutch and weak

My eating habits are so far removed from normal though and are certainly consistent with an addiction as I don't seem to be able to stop piling shit into my face

 

[Goonerview]

There's a couple threads up and a support thread. I would feel bad just name dropping. I'm sure he's trying to get over it.



Joe Rogan says that quite a bit about how you're not your thoughts and you're not your emotions, I've been doing better about not getting anxious, I have a weird nervous cough when I start feeling panicky I'm trying to get under control and I have trouble breathing.

Hell I've done shows out of state that went well, but I was shaking the whole time. A lot of people don't understand the problem with anxiety is there's also a lot of physical aspects to it as well.

Next time you feel nervous like that. Try to be an observer and observe yourself feeling those feelings. Imagine you are watching yourself in the 3rd person and take some deep breaths. It might help. Try not to let the feelings overpower you and become you.

A lot of it may come from childhood. Personally, I come from a broken home and always felt like a burden on my mother and family. I never felt valued, never felt like I had much guidance or that adults took much interest in me and what I was doing.... As a result I have suffered from a low self esteem and low self worth, and...

... it has taken a lot of work to get to where I am now. A lot of independent research into social dynamics and what we are.

 

[Goonerview]

There's a couple threads up and a support thread. I would feel bad just name dropping. I'm sure he's trying to get over it.



Joe Rogan says that quite a bit about how you're not your thoughts and you're not your emotions, I've been doing better about not getting anxious, I have a weird nervous cough when I start feeling panicky I'm trying to get under control and I have trouble breathing.

Hell I've done shows out of state that went well, but I was shaking the whole time. A lot of people don't understand the problem with anxiety is there's also a lot of physical aspects to it as well.

I don't know if you do too? But I have had issues of being an obsessive perfectionist .... to the point where I beat myself up inside if I don't do things perfectly.

I have been detaching myself from this and now accept good enough is good enough.

 

[AgonyandIrony]

I don't know if you do too? But I have had issues of being an obsessive perfectionist .... to the point where I beat myself up inside if I don't do things perfectly.

I have been detaching myself from this and now accept good enough is good enough.

Oh absolutely, like you I came from a broken home. Alcoholic dad, abusive step mom the old fashioned Oklahoma sob story. I started writing really young. I always wrote pretty dark stuff, suicide was a prevalent theme. In my young mind it was nice to write stories where people had worse lives than mine. I remember in the eighth grade everyone had to write a short story about disappointment and read it to the class.

My story was about a kid who watches his mother overdose on crack and eventually the day he gets adopted he ends up getting hit by a car. Made a bunch of people cry and got some weird sort of satisfaction from it.

I've actually mentally blocked a lot of my childhood out and I'm trying to process it now. I wasn't allowed to read books or watch tv at all in the 7th grade and for about four years straight every night my dad would drunkenly rant to me about being a failure for hours so I developed my necessity for being perfect all the time.

I think the reason I love being a comedian so much is that I get instant validation, despite my anxiety I'm generally very comfortable onstage and the feeling of having a good set is a high in itself. I generally love making people happy as I feel like that's what my only purpose is. I suppose if I can't be truly happy, I can at least help others be happy.

 

[AgonyandIrony]

As silly as it may sound I'm addicted to food

Only recently realised there is an official name called binge eating disorder

I don't say I have a disorder as that sounds like a crutch and weak

My eating habits are so far removed from normal though and are certainly consistent with an addiction as I don't seem to be able to stop piling shit into my face

Nah man it's not silly. A comedian buddy of mine suffers from the same thing, he's an obese dude but super insightful and hands down one of the funniest people I've ever met. He's a divorced single father of two and fills his void with food the way I do drugs, pussy, and liquor. We went against eachother in a roast battle and I hit him with "This may be your first battle, but your second is going to be your last because we all know you're going to lose the battle to heart disease" which is pretty fucked up because much like suicide is likely how I leave this world, complications from obesity are likely his.

 

[Lubaolong]

You're arguing semantics with me over a statement you can't actually disagree with

You said Librium has minimal potential for addiction, which is untrue. Any long-term benzo use will lead to tolerance and dependence.

Re: oxazepam, I see it prescribed sometimes for sleep, and it's one hopefully most drs are at least vaguely familiar with. Most benzos are first metabolized by hepatic oxidation, then glucuronidation. Oxazepam is one of 3 that undergoes only glucuronidation. Since oxidation is decreased in people with liver disease and the elderly, there's the potential for excess build up and respiratory depression in these people when using other benzos. Just FYI.

Not to be mean, but it sounds like you have absolutely zero substantive experience with what you're lecturing on.

I speak not from experience as a doctor but as someone who has detoxed from alcohol.

and you're telling another poster that you know better than his doctor.

There's a reason for that.

 

[Lubaolong]

Do you guys think if I haven't had a drink since half a drink 9 hours ago I should be somewhat in the clear?

Withdrawal symptoms typically peak around 72-96 hours.

 

[Gazwald]

You said Librium has minimal potential for addiction, which is untrue. Any long-term benzo use will lead to tolerance and dependence.

No I didn't. I said it had minimal potential compared to other benzos and gave two commonly prescribed examples. You only quoted one line of my post and didn't read my other posts. Alcohol detox also isn't long term benzo use. It's 5 days.

Also you're wrong in the other argument you've started in this support thread with @faustian Librium detox is standard procedure for alcohol detox, especially if the patient is experiencing or progressing towards DTs. He's right, if a doctor didn't either prescribe it or refer them for an inpatient detox then they're incompetent.

You should probably shut up dude. This thread isn't the place. You don't know what on earth you're talking about and I've got nothing more to say to you.

 

[Gazwald]

Withdrawal symptoms typically peak around 72-96 hours.

You typically butt into conversations and start confrontations and back up your arguments using wikipedia.

 

[squeezewax]

I have an addiction to Tramadol, which are painkillers. Had it for over a decade. They rule my life! I'm a slave to them!

 

[Lubaolong]

Librium detox is standard procedure for alcohol detox

Benzos are typically first line for alcohol detox. Sending an alcoholic home with a bottle of Librium, suggesting that he self-taper with alcohol, telling him to take Librium if he feels he might have a seizure, and not esplicitly telling him not to combine benzos with alcohol is not the standard of care. It's very reckless.

You don't know what on earth you're talking about and I've got nothing more to say to you.

being an alcoholic who's gotten benzos from an ER doctor before doesn't make you an expert. Sorry.

 

[Gazwald]

being an alcoholic who's gotten benzos from an ER doctor before doesn't make you an expert. Sorry.

ER doctor? No sorry never had benzos of them lol

I'm not claiming to be an expert and I don't need to be to know you're full of shit.

 

[Lubaolong]

you're full of shit.

or you're an insufferable know-it-all junkie who knows almost nothing about the subject you're debating.

 

[SowingSeason]

I have an addiction to Tramadol, which are painkillers. Had it for over a decade. They rule my life! I'm a slave to them!

I had a physical dependence to it when I was struggling to get my injuries I racked up in the AF under control. I don't enjoy it though. I decided to quit when I got a medical marijuana card in AK. Getting over that hump was fucking awful. Physically especially. Quitting will suck but its worth it.

 

[SowingSeason]

or you're an insufferable know-it-all junkie who knows almost nothing about the subject you're debating.

...why?

 

[Goonerview]

Oh absolutely, like you I came from a broken home. Alcoholic dad, abusive step mom the old fashioned Oklahoma sob story. I started writing really young. I always wrote pretty dark stuff, suicide was a prevalent theme. In my young mind it was nice to write stories where people had worse lives than mine. I remember in the eighth grade everyone had to write a short story about disappointment and read it to the class.

My story was about a kid who watches his mother overdose on crack and eventually the day he gets adopted he ends up getting hit by a car. Made a bunch of people cry and got some weird sort of satisfaction from it.

I've actually mentally blocked a lot of my childhood out and I'm trying to process it now. I wasn't allowed to read books or watch tv at all in the 7th grade and for about four years straight every night my dad would drunkenly rant to me about being a failure for hours so I developed my necessity for being perfect all the time.

I think the reason I love being a comedian so much is that I get instant validation, despite my anxiety I'm generally very comfortable onstage and the feeling of having a good set is a high in itself. I generally love making people happy as I feel like that's what my only purpose is. I suppose if I can't be truly happy, I can at least help others be happy.

It might be difficult, but try to not to hate or have any ill will towards your parents. Just accept them for what they are and move on.

I've also had similar experiences to what you describe and I thought that I hated my parents at one stage. I have good and bad memories of them. I hold on to the good memories and let go of the trauma.