I posted this at another site in between stays at mental/behavioral health facilities.
@AgonyandIrony its different for everyone but it got better for me after getting on the right meds and doing a cycle of ECT. My situation changed some for the better also, which helps. So this seems like the place to post this (at sherdog anyway)
"I went in from the ER Because I took a bunch of oxys. They took me in an ambulance which cost me about 1300 bucks. I got there and was very tired and hungry and intake took forever but they brought me food which was nice until I tried to eat the food which wasn't nice at all. I'll say this...they fucked the food up in every way possible, texture-fucked, temperature-fucked, taste-FUCKED. The best thing I had there was fish, effing fish. So first couple of days I was in the chemical dependency side of the ward. I thought this was because there wasn't room on the mental health side but now that I think about it, they probably did it so I could "detox" even though I didn't act up. I didn't do anything. I slept until they made me come be part of the group and then I just sat there and didn't look at anyone or say anything. That's pretty much how I was for the first 2 or 3 days. Everyone was buds, playing games and joking around and I just sat there. Oh, I still had the 35 staples in my back and some other wounds so the nurses were constantly pulling me aside to take care of that shit. Then they moved me to the mental health side."
"So they transferred me over to the mental health side and put me in a room with this diminutive 18 year old kid with schizophrenia, nice kid..quiet. I guess his last roomie was this big loud kind of country dude with long curly hair. He had a weird name like Ivan but a thick country accent. my roomies name was Nick and he always responded to stuff by giving you 2 thumbs up but not the whole thumbs, just the last knuckle..i called them little fonzies. He was kind of popular on the ward. There were a lot of like 18-24 year old girls and he was very much buds with them..I guess at one point or another he tried to court all of them lol, its like "Nick, girls talk buddy." There was also this huge black dude I became friends with, well maybe not huge but 6'5 and easily 240 or 250, Lionel. He had his fucking eyelids tattooed lol. I probably got along with him the best. We had "rec" and he and I would throw the football. Everyone else did crafts or played a musical instrument. I kind of started to..be more involved on the mh side. I "made friends" which is unnatural for me. Also, people started getting discharged and new people were being admitted which made me one of the "veterans" if you could call it that. Oh another thing, there was a lot of vomiting. Not by me but a few of the girls could keep shit down. They made it out like they had diet/stomach issues but those chicks were bulimic if you ask me. So at one point Nick is gone then the girls all got discharged and it was me and lionel and a bunch of newbs and that kind of sucked, we'd look at each other like well this sucks. Sometimes they'd send people over from the chemical dependency side and one was cool, Caleb, and one was an asshole, John. John may have been a bigot, either that he didn't know what was appropriate. He was in lionel's ear and that was causing tension. It came to a head when lionel almost pulled Johns chair out from under him and hit him with it. We talked him down. Later John came up and apologized and told us he was going to the state hospital for help. The next day lionel and I are throwing the ball and I said "hey that was some real shit John did huh, apologizing.." And he thought about it for a second and said yeah it was.
So nicks gone, the girls are gone, john is gone lol, caleb..actually he was still there. We had some new people though, Matthew who was a physics major at a local college but had some disorder, Brandon (nicki) who claimed to be transgendered but had a full beard (i'm pretty sure he was fucking with us) and Sarah who was about 26 or 27 and homeless. Sarah was fucking nuts, I honestly think she was just there for a bed some drugs and food. She asked me at one point if she could have my pants or a pair of my jeans rather, she wasn't asking for me to take my pants off I don't think. She was tall and had the hairiest legs I've ever seen on a chick. She would vomit too but she'd do it right after they gave her Ativan then she'd fish it out of her puke and tell them she puked it up and she needed another...you aint foolin anyone sarah."
"Also, this place was like a nice jail. you were constantly under lock and key. Always had staff with you anywhere you went. Never had two doors open at the same time, that type of shit. It was pretty suicide proof too. Everything was either nailed down or foam and there was literally nothing you could hang yourself on. Shower head was tapered so anything you tied to it would slide right off. The hook to hang your towel on was like a light switch so anything more than about 7 pounds and it would flip down and you'd slide off. They'd really thought of everything. Smoke breaks..they had 4 or 5 a day and not everyone had cigs. The nurse would bring 2 out per person per break and the people that didn't have any would try and sneak some puffs or a cig from those who did which was a no-no. Sometimes the nurse lets us share which was cool."
"Ok so towards the end of my stay I started getting restless. There were people coming in and getting discharged while I was still there. They were trying to get my lithium levels right and I get it but still. Oh, and they transferred me to the trauma unit for a night because they had too many adolescents so they had to combine us with the cd people. Logistically they made it a lot harder than it had to be and I almost told them what they were doing wrong but the entire staff seemed put out by the whole ordeal so I didn't. Later the charge nurse told me they transferred me because they felt I would bitch the least and they were right I suppose. His name was Chris, the charge nurse, and he was pretty cool. One day I was sitting at a table with lionel and some other and praying Sarah wouldn't come up and start rambling. Anyway Chris hollers over to lionel that he need to give a ua. Lionel fires back "for what!" (he was getting a little crispy too at this point). Chris said "it's for a tox screen". And he and I look at one another and I'm like fuck you've been here for 9 days. But then I remembered I did one when I was admitted so I asked Chris what was in mine and he said to give him a minute. So 10 minutes later he calls me over and I was positive for opiates, hydros, amphetamines, and benzos."
"The last few days kind of sucked, everyone was gone and it was me and the new people. One night we get this black girl in 25 or 26 somewhere around there. And were doing our nighttime process group where we go around the room and everyone talks about some shit, feelings or whatever..it wasn't very structured. So we get to new girl and she says her name, and i'm probably fucking this up, and I think it was chardonnay but not spelled like that, it was Shardoneigh or some shit. So she's damn near impossible to understand and I'm not trying to be a prick but she was. So she goes into her story and how she was depressed and maybe suicidal (I honestly couldn't tell what she was saying) because her mom was a real asshole to her and her because she was "developmentally challenged". That really bothered me..how could you be mean to your child for something like that? Odds are she's like that because the mom was a piece of shit when she was pregnant. Then she says she's sad because her brother just got shot. So she's done talking and everyone starts giving her support, saying really nice stuff When it can around to me all I could say was "sorry your brother got shot". So everyone finishes giving her love or whatever and she starts to thank us and I go off in my head thinking, don't thank us that's what were here for..aint none of us right, I mean were all fucked up. its a goddamn mental hospital..and just then I kind of pulled myself back to the room in time to hear her say "you make my heart smile..." I had to excuse myself. She went simple fucking jack on us. I swear to God sometimes I thought people were doing bits..
Oh, later that night I found out she was HIV positive and she had a "wet spot" on her head, which was obviously a sore. she was sitting there on the couch whipping her pick comb around. Now I know that's not transferrable like that but come on Shardoneigh!!"
"Oh also, we weren't allowed to use the TV remote because someone ate the batteries once"
