Ye old "eat, drink, and be married" thread

Mex said:
Our shower isn't draining right and the auger I have can't reach the clog, so it's over 25' down the pipe. So I tell her I'm gonna go to home depot and get a longer one the next day.
She leaves the house in the morning before me so when I go to shower there's ankle deep cold gross soapy water, I suck it up and take my shower, only my feet start to hurt after a couple minutes. I have a very weak sense of smell so I didn't realize she had poured a ton of bleach into the water after her shower, she thought it would bust up the clog before I had to shower and didn't think to leave a warning note or anything and I've got chemical burns on my feet/ankles.

Edit: The funny part, when I call her to chew her out she goes "Well maybe your feet won't smell so bad now" and I busted up laughing. Well played, lady, well played.
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oh shit man!! thats terrible. sorry but i laughed bigtime......
 
xd 40 said:
Lol. One thing ive learned is a wife can find a problem with every scenario, with or without logic or reason. When logic and reason is brought up...once again...im an asshole.
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lol mine is getting good with logic and reason. So much that she logically debated the toilet seat battle and won. With one man and one woman in the house, the toilet seat will need to be down at least 75% of time. It's statistically more likely that you'd have to put the toilet seat down than put it up, so leaving it down ultimately results in less work. I take the laziness a step further and just piss sitting down. I don't have to clean the walls around the toilet anymore, either.

But keep in mind, that's her logic. My logic, by comparison, is almost 100% fallible and can't hold a flame to her visceral gut feelings. :D
 
xd 40 said:
My 3 year old snuck in on us getting wild about a week ago. I went with the classic "we were wrestling trick" then she wanted to wrestle me with a full on rager. I freaked out a yelled get out. Not mean or anything. She ran out and cried.lol
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hahahahaha not really fitting for the thread but funny as hell
 
KyleInAction said:
hahahahaha not really fitting for the thread but funny as hell
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lol. shit, i didnt even think about that since i made the embarrassing kid thread yesterday.....
 
Not married yet, but it's reassuring to read this thread. I love my girlfriend dearly, and visually she is waaay out of my league. But I was thinking of packing everything in up until maybe a few months ago, because I felt I couldn't take the complete lack of logic and inability to let things slide.

However, from talking to friends, colleagues and reading this thread, I now know it's just a universal woman thing!
 
Me: Where do you want to go eat babe?
She: Ill eat anywhere you know that ...you pick a place.
Me: OK we'll go to that Mexican spot.
She: Im not in the mood for Mexican, I didnt like the food there last time.
Me: Ok wanna go to Cheesecake Factory or grab a quick slice?
She: What about Pei Wei? I could go for Chinese.
Me: Fuck you...now were getting Mexican.
 
equus said:
lol. shit, i didnt even think about that since i made the embarrassing kid thread yesterday.....
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aha. I have no kids, therefor I smash with impunity. Although if I had kids and that happened, I'd reckon my response would be "get out or you're next!"
 
Uptown Swinger said:
Me: Where do you want to go eat babe?
She: Ill eat anywhere you know that ...you pick a place.
Me: OK we'll go to that Mexican spot.
She: Im not in the mood for Mexican, I didnt like the food there last time.
Me: Ok wanna go to Cheesecake Factory or grab a quick slice?
She: What about Pei Wei? I could go for Chinese.
Me: Fuck you...now were getting Mexican.
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lol this one never gets easier, by the way.

Another variation on this game is she just says "you go get something, and I'll decide for myself later and get it." 90% of the time she decides to eat half of whatever I bring home.


I've just started giving general guidelines like "spicy" and let her take it from there. Part of that is also me changing my attitude about food so I don't really care what I eat, so my expectations never get out of line.
 
KyleInAction said:
lol mine is getting good with logic and reason. So much that she logically debated the toilet seat battle and won. With one man and one woman in the house, the toilet seat will need to be down at least 75% of time. It's statistically more likely that you'd have to put the toilet seat down than put it up, so leaving it down ultimately results in less work. I take the laziness a step further and just piss sitting down. I don't have to clean the walls around the toilet anymore, either.

But keep in mind, that's her logic. My logic, by comparison, is almost 100% fallible and can't hold a flame to her visceral gut feelings. :D
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There is so much stuff in here id swear i wrote myself many lulz
 
when we were at Target a few months back, i told Christy i was buying 2 new pillows. 1 more flat one and a fluffy one. so i ask her if she wants 2 as well. "nope. i like mine"

every, and i mean EVERY fucking night i get into bed after her, my pillows are under her head. and when i say "can i have my pillows?" you would think i just stabbed her in the head with a steak knife. "why do you get nice pillows?"








this is a first world problems thread. i'll send my old pillows to Africa.....
 
Going back over what was just said or yelled drives me nuts. "You didnt say it like that" i need that court stenographer from chapells show.
 
equus said:
when we were at Target a few months back, i told Christy i was buying 2 new pillows. 1 more flat one and a fluffy one. so i ask her if she wants 2 as well. "nope. i like mine"

every, and i mean EVERY fucking night i get into bed after her, my pillows are under her head. and when i say "can i have my pillows?" you would think i just stabbed her in the head with a steak knife. "why do you get nice pillows?"








this is a first world problems thread. i'll send my old pillows to Africa.....
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lol they don't need our first-world pillow problems to compound their other issues. They don't realize it, but their discomfort is a gift. That's how I'm rationalizing our mountain of pillows, anyway.
 
KyleInAction said:
lol they don't need our first-world pillow problems to compound their other issues. They don't realize it, but their discomfort is a gift.That's how I'm rationalizing our mountain of pillows, anyway.
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LOL :icon_chee DAMN i lost it.......
 
xd 40 said:
Going back over what was just said or yelled drives me nuts. "You didnt say it like that" i need that court stenographer from chapells show.
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lol yep, i rarely bother, most of the time because I'm not certain. I know she doesn't know, either, but her certainty about it is usually enough to convince me.

Her: "We're going to so-and-so's tonight."
Me: "We are? Since when?"
Her: "I told you last weekend and you said okay."

It's at this point that I start thinking about how many times in the past week I've completely tuned her out. Generally she'll start talking about So-And-So's personal life, and since I have no interest I tune it out (personally I don't think any of my life is any one elses business, so in kind I won't listen to the business of anyone else, either). Well, half-way through the story of So-And-So doing this-that-and-the-other, is when she probably says "oh, and we're going over to her house next weekend." I think she does it on purpose, because I'm just nodding my head in agreement. Fast-forward to present time, and my response:

Me: "Yeah... I probably did."

Gotta take the good with the bad, I guess.
 
KyleInAction said:
lol yep, i rarely bother, most of the time because I'm not certain. I know she doesn't know, either, but her certainty about it is usually enough to convince me.

Her: "We're going to so-and-so's tonight."
Me: "We are? Since when?"
Her: "I told you last weekend and you said okay."

It's at this point that I start thinking about how many times in the past week I've completely tuned her out. Generally she'll start talking about So-And-So's personal life, and since I have no interest I tune it out (personally I don't think any of my life is any one elses business, so in kind I won't listen to the business of anyone else, either). Well, half-way through the story of So-And-So doing this-that-and-the-other, is when she probably says "oh, and we're going over to her house next weekend." I think she does it on purpose, because I'm just nodding my head in agreement. Fast-forward to present time, and my response:

Me: "Yeah... I probably did."

Gotta take the good with the bad, I guess.
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Dont get me wrong the good far outweighs the bad but i think your onto something here. Women should head the cia's mind control program.
 
From reading your 1st world wife problems, I understand that I'm in a normal healthy relationship; as I can relate to every one of these tales.
My wife speaks in code as well:
Her- We need to bring the Christmas decorations in from the garage.
Translation - You need to bring the Christmas decorations in from the garage.

Her - I have a sweet tooth.
Translation - Fix me something sweet.
 
xd 40 said:
Dont get me wrong the good far outweighs the bad but i think your onto something here. Women should head the cia's mind control program.
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oh yeah, I know she's got my number. I'll catch her doing it every now and again, but it doesn't bother me. I do it back. It's well-intentioned manipulation on both sides.
 
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