Ye old "eat, drink, and be married" thread

[thoughtsone]

Good thread.

My lady loves to do this:

"We need to spend a date night together" Her
"Ok lets go see a movie, or some shit" Me
"NO ZOMBIES, NO HORROR, NO ACTION" Her
"but.....you like the walking dead!"
"Thats because I can make fun of laurie cuz she is useless"

I get it now, women love to see other women fail.

Fine...so we went and saw hunger games. But only AFTER she got off work went shopping, called and said she was hungry, came home 2 hours later (so much for the 8pm showing), but it was all worth it because she went shopping for work clothes, and I do love the sexratary look..

Ok not as funny as some of the stories but the Laurie/walking dead part had me laughing.

 

[KyleInAction]

From reading your 1st world wife problems, I understand that I'm in a normal healthy relationship; as I can relate to every one of these tales.
My wife speaks in code as well:
Her- We need to bring the Christmas decorations in from the garage.
Translation - You need to bring the Christmas decorations in from the garage.

Her - I have a sweet tooth.
Translation - Fix me something sweet.

God forbid you reply "Yeah? Then go get them"

My girl wanted to move a painting from the living room to the bedroom, and kept mentioning it "we need to move the painting". I always failed to reply. Months pass, and she finally gets around to it this past weekend. Needless to say, I got to spend the day on the porch, drinking and getting the silent treatment. I'll never admit it to her, but it was actually a very pleasant Sunday.

 

[equus]

From reading your 1st world wife problems, I understand that I'm in a normal healthy relationship; as I can relate to every one of these tales.
My wife speaks in code as well:
Her- We need to bring the Christmas decorations in from the garage.
Translation - You need to bring the Christmas decorations in from the garage.

Her - I have a sweet tooth.
Translation - Fix me something sweet.

haha. yes sir.

i will say when we were dating we had seperate bank accounts then when we got engaged she talked about joint accounts and after we got married she decided since we shared everything else all of our funds needed to be shared for sure. so finally i broke down and put all of my paycheck into our joint account as she did. i wasnt hesitant because i was hiding money, i just really kept track of balancing my account. we opened a joint account but she had used it primarily by herself at first and i will just say she isnt exactly as on point in terms of finances as i am. she paid attention to the account but hated keeping receipts and after her complaining about me not putting my $ in there i finally did. after A WEEK she started complaining because i was trying to balance the register for myself and 1 for her and she hated being accountable for it. she also didnt like me knowing she was dropping like $150-200 every time she went to Target.....

hindsight.

 

[v.kevin]

oh yeah, I know she's got my number. I'll catch her doing it every now and again, but it doesn't bother me. I do it back. It's well-intentioned manipulation on both sides.

My wife tends to talk to herself ALOT so after asking her, "What's that?" to have her reply back, "Nothing, I was just talking to myself." I tend to tune her out.
This leads to her sneaking in all kinds of announcements about what's we're doing this week and she has a meeting on Thursday from 6-8, etc. Then it's, "Remember tonight is back to school night."
"What?"
"I told you, don't you remember?"
"Ummm uhhhh, I guess so, maybe."

Two best phrases for a happy marriage are:
Yes, Dear. and Here, have a glass of wine.

 

[v.kevin]

God forbid you reply "Yeah? Then go get them"

My girl wanted to move a painting from the living room to the bedroom, and kept mentioning it "we need to move the painting". I always failed to reply. Months pass, and she finally gets around to it this past weekend. Needless to say, I got to spend the day on the porch, drinking and getting the silent treatment. I'll never admit it to her, but it was actually a very pleasant Sunday.

Our secret. What happens in Mayberry, stays in Mayberry.

 

[NorCalNinja]

That phrase is a misquote.

Its .. to BE MERRY. Not "married" ROFL

From the Bible, Ecclesiastes VIII 15 (King James Version):

"To eat, and to drink, and to be merry"

 

[jmac98]

That phrase is a misquote.

Its .. to BE MERRY. Not "married" ROFL

From the Bible, Ecclesiastes VIII 15 (King James Version):

"To eat, and to drink, and to be merry"

I believe therein lies a play on words, very widely known in its usage. See: Life's a Beach.
It's not a misquote.

 

[equus]

I believe therein lies a play on words, very widely known in its usage. See: Life's a Beach.
It's not a misquote.

zing!!

what jmac said....... ROFL myself. jokes on you Norcal.

 

[KyleInAction]

My wife tends to talk to herself ALOT so after asking her, "What's that?" to have her reply back, "Nothing, I was just talking to myself." I tend to tune her out.
This leads to her sneaking in all kinds of announcements about what's we're doing this week and she has a meeting on Thursday from 6-8, etc. Then it's, "Remember tonight is back to school night."
"What?"
"I told you, don't you remember?"
"Ummm uhhhh, I guess so, maybe."

Two best phrases for a happy marriage are:
Yes, Dear. and Here, have a glass of wine.

Bring it in for the real thing

 

[KyleInAction]

I believe therein lies a play on words, very widely known in its usage. See: Life's a Beach.
It's not a misquote.

"I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married"

 

[NorCalNinja]

I believe therein lies a play on words, very widely known in its usage. See: Life's a Beach.
It's not a misquote.

A widely used misquote doesnt make it not a misquote.

Similar to "bottled my mind", which lots of people say on here, but the saying is "boggled my mind".



Be merry son.

 

[equus]

Good thread.

My lady loves to do this:

"We need to spend a date night together" Her
"Ok lets go see a movie, or some shit" Me
"NO ZOMBIES, NO HORROR, NO ACTION" Her
"but.....you like the walking dead!"
"Thats because I can make fun of laurie cuz she is useless"

I get it now, women love to see other women fail.

Fine...so we went and saw hunger games. But only AFTER she got off work went shopping, called and said she was hungry, came home 2 hours later (so much for the 8pm showing), but it was all worth it because she went shopping for work clothes, and I do love the sexratary look..

Ok not as funny as some of the stories but the Laurie/walking dead part had me laughing.

lol. my wife like to do that as well but once in a while she'll say "we need to get out without the kids. i dont want to do a movie. we cant talk." ok so i say "lets just go to eat then go to the bookstore or something. the plaza area" (an artsy pretensious assholeish district. i fit in awesome) "no. lets just rent a movie and bring some food home." WTF

 

[KyleInAction]

Oo another one she does is hop from subject to subject without taking a breath. She'll go on and on about thing-a, and just as I inhale to begin my part of the conversation, she goes Ace Ventura and immediately starts a different topic without taking a breath. I swear she's breathes out of her vagina.

 

[NorCalNinja]

Another one is "Money is the root of all evil", that is a misquote of "Money is the root of many evils". Bad translation by the NIV bible.

Popular misquote =/= not misquote

 

[equus]

A widely used misquote doesnt make it not a misquote.

Similar to "bottled my mind", which lots of people say on here, but the saying is "boggled my mind".



Be merry son.

arent you the dude who argued with a whole thread for hours that nautical stars tattoos originated in northern california? go away.

 

[NorCalNinja]

Eat drink and be merry! < that makes sense. Drinking and being merry go hand in hand.

Eat drink and be married? < that doesnt even make sense. What does marriage have to do with drinking? Critical thinking people. done.

 

[KyleInAction]

Another one is "Money is the root of all evil", that is a misquote of "Money is the root of many evils". Bad translation by the NIV bible.

Popular misquote =/= not misquote

No one cares. This isn't a thread about quotes. Go start that thread if you really think it's a big deal.

 

[KyleInAction]

Eat drink and be merry! < that makes sense. Drinking and being merry go hand in hand.

Eat drink and be married? < that doesnt even make sense. What does marriage have to do with drinking? Critical thinking people. done.

Too easy.

 

[NorCalNinja]

arent you the dude who argued with a whole thread for hours that nautical stars tattoos originated in northern california? go away.

No, I argued for 10 minutes, that the current trend in pop culture of getting the nautical star tattooed on your arms originated from Northern California style, which it did.

Dont get emotional kid.

 

[equus]

again

arent you the dude who argued with a whole thread for hours that nautical stars tattoos originated in northern california?

and you arent very brilliant are you? the bottle the mind bit is from "blades of glory". its an attempt at humor. something you are very obviously unaware of......