Ye old "eat, drink, and be married" thread

[xd 40***]

High five bro.

High 5

 

[equus]

- Sometimes she'll bogart the TV and the laptop. She'll be browsing Facebook, but I can't change the channel because she's watching it. Keep in mind that if I get up to go to the bathroom while I'm watching TV, I will return with the channel changed to some teen vampire tv show.

- One time I took a side-project and severely underestimated my eta. Long story short I got paid for less than half of the actual work I did. When I finally got the money for the job I was ecstatic and said I was going to buy a new heavy bag to treat myself. I then got an earful about how we were saving for vacation. The next week she gets her student loan money in and buys a couple of new dresses and shoes, because she needs them.

- We've been over it many times, and I am not to leave the toilet seat up, my underwear on the floor, or wet towels on the bed. If I do those things, I hear about it. But despite how many time we go over them, my hair brush is always hidden from me in the morning because she likes mine more than hers, I never know when I get important mail because it just gets shoved into the wreck that becomes our dinner table on school nights, and I'm always searching for my work laptop in the morning because she takes it out and doesn't put it back.


But those are just silly people issues. She could be addicted to meth. That would be an actual problem. When the above things happen, I just shake my head and think "oh, you!" Mostly because I'm sure she's got a list on me, as well.

lol. this guy gets it...

i like when she asks me to leave work a little early so we can go do something we need to get completed and it will be easier if we attempt to do so before its right around time for the kids to go to bed. i'll even text her "leaving work now" so she knows ill be there in about 20 minutes. had it been me, i would have the kids ready to go in that 20 minutes. i come in the door and mama hasnt even fucking showered yet.... WHAT. THE. FUCK.

 

[equus]

JMAC, the oil change story.

 

[PhilCam]

I'm more so reiterating for the people who will challenge his "sure your wife's a 10"

I figured you were asking because he mentioned she's Latina, so you liked that look.

I'm just stroking Eq's ego I guess.

Please do contribute. Age is just a number, and matters not. If you have anything fun to add or what not, share with class my friend. We're here for fun, not to judge.

Yay hot latinas!

I've been living with my girlfriend for the past few months so if I think of something then I'll post it.

Thank you for being so welcoming.

 

[xd 40***]

haha. i hear you. i always get shit or told im selfish if i wake up at 5 am, when shes asleep, and lift weights. in our garage. i dont leave. i dont go to a gym. i lift weights in our garage. and im selfish because i want to be fit. last i checked lifting at 5am on the opposite side of the house to sportscenter, not blaring music, when nobody else is up for 2 hours, isnt a selfish act.

Lol. One thing ive learned is a wife can find a problem with every scenario, with or without logic or reason. When logic and reason is brought up...once again...im an asshole.

 

[Linkuei]

- Sometimes she'll bogart the TV and the laptop. She'll be browsing Facebook, but I can't change the channel because she's watching it. Keep in mind that if I get up to go to the bathroom while I'm watching TV, I will return with the channel changed to some teen vampire tv show.

- One time I took a side-project and severely underestimated my eta. Long story short I got paid for less than half of the actual work I did. When I finally got the money for the job I was ecstatic and said I was going to buy a new heavy bag to treat myself. I then got an earful about how we were saving for vacation. The next week she gets her student loan money in and buys a couple of new dresses and shoes, because she needs them.

- We've been over it many times, and I am not to leave the toilet seat up, my underwear on the floor, or wet towels on the bed. If I do those things, I hear about it. But despite how many time we go over them, my hair brush is always hidden from me in the morning because she likes mine more than hers, I never know when I get important mail because it just gets shoved into the wreck that becomes our dinner table on school nights, and I'm always searching for my work laptop in the morning because she takes it out and doesn't put it back.


But those are just silly people issues. She could be addicted to meth. That would be an actual problem. When the above things happen, I just shake my head and think "oh, you!" Mostly because I'm sure she's got a list on me, as well.

This was perfect lol.

 

[jmac98]

JMAC, the oil change story.

ok, I'll do that one.
I didn't want to write any examples because I didn't want to talk about Stacey in negative light, that's not fair. Especially because look who's typing this. I've got plenty to work on in my own right before pointing fingers.

But the oil change one isn't terrible.

So the wife told me last Friday she booked an oil change. Great.
What she didn't tell me was that it was at the mechanic's shop that she likes to go to when we have any repairs to make on the vehicles. He's honest, fair, and about 25 minutes away. And as he doesn't book appointment times (just days), here's what I found out on Friday morning:

I need to drive behind the wife and 2 kids to the mechanics in our other vehicle. We need to drop that one off, take out both car seats and re-install them in the car, and drive everyone back home 25 more mins. This all while I'm supposed to be working.
Then a few hours later, we all need to drive 25 more mins to pick up the vehicle, and re-install the car seats back in the truck, then a 4th 25 minute ride home, once again during my work day. This couldn't be done after hours because my wife works at 4.
All I said was "why didn't you just drive down the hill (from our house) to the Minit Lube and get the oil changed in 10 minutes. You don't even get out of the car."

Cricket Sound - YouTube

Then I'm asked "why didn't you suggest this before?"

It was at this point I could have noted "because this is the first I've heard of said oil change." But I didn't. There's no point arguing. Pick your battles and realize there was good intent by her.

 

[xd 40***]

My 3 year old snuck in on us getting wild about a week ago. I went with the classic "we were wrestling trick" then she wanted to wrestle me with a full on rager. I freaked out a yelled get out. Not mean or anything. She ran out and cried.lol

 

[equus]

im a monster

 

[osudude]

"I need an oil change". -wife.
A month and a half later, "I need an oil change". -wife
"Again? There's no way you've gone that far". -me
"Oh I never got one to begin with." -wife
/facepalm - me.

 

[equus]

"I need an oil change". -wife.
A month and a half later, "I need an oil change". -wife
"Again? There's no way you've gone that far". -me
"Oh I never got one to begin with." -wife
/facepalm - me.

shouldve just taken her down the hill to the minit lube.........

 

[jmac98]

our son got 2 teeth at the same time at 5 months. it was a fucking nightmare.


thanks jmac. your baby mama is one nice looking cookie as well. which is weird. cause we're ugly motherfuckers...... post your funny labor nightmare........

Labour nightmare isn't funny. it's just a nightmare.
it'd buzzkill this thread.
and you're a monster.

 

[Michaelangelo]

Pics of wife or werk.

 

[equus]

Pics of wife or werk.

this is our family pic.... be nice....

 

[jmac98]

In happy moods, a conversation like this can be heard: "you should play in 2 hockey (or baseball) leagues, twice a week instead of once. You sure love it"

In bad moods.... take it away, equus....

 

[jmac98]

this is our family pic.... be nice....

When did you start wearing eye shadow?

 

[equus]

In happy moods, a conversation like this can be heard: "you should play in 2 hockey (or baseball) leagues, twice a week instead of once. You sure love it"

In bad moods.... take it away, equus....

I cant believe you could be so selfish! We dont have outlets! you get to go play all you want and we're stuck at home with nothing to do! how could you do this to us?!.........

 

[Mex]

Our shower isn't draining right and the auger I have can't reach the clog, so it's over 25' down the pipe. So I tell her I'm gonna go to home depot and get a longer one the next day.
She leaves the house in the morning before me so when I go to shower there's ankle deep cold gross soapy water, I suck it up and take my shower, only my feet start to hurt after a couple minutes. I have a very weak sense of smell so I didn't realize she had poured a ton of bleach into the water after her shower, she thought it would bust up the clog before I had to shower and didn't think to leave a warning note or anything and I've got chemical burns on my feet/ankles.

Edit: The funny part, when I call her to chew her out she goes "Well maybe your feet won't smell so bad now" and I busted up laughing. Well played, lady, well played.

 

[Dinkin_Flicka]

My wife is a busy body, she can not sit still to the point where it stresses her out if something is not done. I love her to death but it drives me nuts when I just want to sit and relax. I don't care if there are dishes in the sink or clothes in the dryer. Even when everything is done and the kid is asleep and we sit down to watch some TV before bed she is on her iPhone checking facebook and playing draw something with like 15 different people.

The house is always nice and neat, but sometimes I just want to tie her to a chair and make her take a break.

 

[osudude]

shouldve just taken her down the hill to the minit lube.........

I made the mistake of assuming that when she mentioned it she would take care it herself. Oops.