Anthony Bourdain kills himself

[therealdope]

She's used more heroin than him. NOw I really wonder whether he used again and did the self hate thing.

 

[Mike]

ya tough spot and I certainly know people can be born into or inherit shitty situations. Sorry to hear it and certainly I can follow that path you painted and see how that could create ongoing challenges and issues.

but then I see someone like my brothers step daughter. All the benefits and support in the world. Loving parents. Good life. Big friendship circle at school as a popular kid. Everything she could ask for and yet, like you suffers from severe anxiety. Won't clean her room or make her bed and washes her hands until they bleed. Has been isolating herself more and more over the last few years. fighting with her parents and particularly her mother as teens do and just been in this slide.

Very early in the process before any of this was extreme of diagnosed they went for family counseling and they suggested she was suffering anxiety and they laid out how it might manifest and how to cope, not just to the parents but also to her. And sure enough she ended up following what they painted as the worst case slide.

My brother was very frustrated with the entire process from the start as he (like I do) believe that sometimes focusing on small problems too much can make them seem like big problems. So ya, that is the 'get over it' stuff you might here. I am not convinced that much of this, where there is no clear trigger like with my niece, is not psychosomatic or self inflicted. that if instead of focusing on the problems and treating problems that instead you tried to take their focus off the problem and onto more productive stuff, that things would not be better for most.

Its a tough topic because maybe I am just wrong and whether it someone like you with a trigger or someone like my niece with no obvious trigger, maybe some peoples brains are just wired towards this. but I am not so sure. But I am also no expert and recognize this.

Well the point of my story was despite having a shit life and shit parents, I was still optimistic and relatively happy. Then one day, it just took over. I've met a lot of mentally ill people throughout my life. Many had environmental or hereditary factors that explain it, but some don't. Our natural tendency to find meaning makes us think there must be a concrete reason. But some people are just wired in a way that's fucked up, and we don't have the tools to find out why.


The thing is once you start down the path of obsessive worry and compulsive behavior, you can't just stop. The early years scared the shit out of me, because I KNEW my thoughts and actions were irrational, but I couldn't stop. It's like your own private hell when you know you're doing nonsensical things, but trying not to do them just makes the anxiety worse.

 

[SMillard]

She's used more heroin than him. NOw I really wonder whether he used again and did the self hate thing.

I knew she was big into smack and she is a chain smoking fiend. She was pretty damn sexy at one time.

 

[Medulla Omoplata]

Sometimes our brains get all fucky

 

[MikeMcMann]

Well the point of my story was despite having a shit life and shit parents, I was still optimistic and relatively happy. Then one day, it just took over. I've met a lot of mentally ill people throughout my life. Many had environmental or hereditary factors that explain it, but some don't. Our natural tendency to find meaning makes us think there must be a concrete reason. But some people are just wired in a way that's fucked up, and we don't have the tools to find out why.


The thing is once you start down the path of obsessive worry and compulsive behavior, you can't just stop. The early years scared the shit out of me, because I KNEW my thoughts and actions were irrational, but I couldn't stop. It's like your own private hell when you know you're doing nonsensical things, but trying not to do them just makes the anxiety worse.

Ya i get all that. And in particular when a person has had specific trauma(s) in their lives.

However I wonder if there is a little chicken and egg thing going on for the masses of young people today all diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD, etc.

Not saying they did not show early symptoms, as my niece did, but is it acknowledging,identifying and treating those early symptoms that makes them become focused on and worse or would they be even worse if not identified and treated when young.

When I look at my peers and think how many of us, like myself were super hyper but how few were allowed to focus on our issues (get over it) and how few in fact escalated to more serious forms of the disorders I tend to think not shining a light on it and focusing on it and instead focusing past it and trying to ignore it (get over it) is the better option for all but a rare few. I struggle to understand the near epidemic levels of disorders today as compared to the past.

Another example is my best friends son. He was in a regular public school here in Canada. He was super hyper and disruptive and acting out in class constantly during his grade school years and for years the school wanted him on ritalin or some type of ADHD drug and to get therapy. His parents fought it until the school was going to expel him. Instead they got other advice and ended up moving to a small town with a small private school with only 25 kids in his grade where he could get more personal attention but most importantly the school was focused on extra curricular activities. They had strong sports programs and huge focus on fitness throughout the day and all a big music program.

This kid almost instantly went from being a failing student in the public system to a straight A award winning student while becoming a top athlete (he is on track for full US scholarships in hockey) and he is a top pianist in his region.

Instead of focusing on his problems his parents focused past them and on to solutions (get over it) and I can't help but think if he was ritalin'd up and put in therapy to deal with his issues back then he would still be a borderline D student with a whole host of other problems. Luckily his parents were wealthy enough to do that for him. I wonder how many kids could have been diverted this type of way.

So ya I suspect we live in an over diagnosed and over medicated society that seems to think embracing problems is the best way to treat them. I say that with all due respect to people with real unavoidable problems that they have no choice but to embrace and deal with and potentially medicate. I just think there is a vast swatch of society who is streamed that way, when it could be avoided and they end far worse down the road and then really needing the help.

 

[Mike]

Ya i get all that. And in particular when a person has had specific trauma(s) in their lives.

However I wonder if there is a little chicken and egg thing going on for the masses of young people today all diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD, etc.

Not saying they did not show early symptoms, as my niece did, but is it acknowledging,identifying and treating those early symptoms that makes them become focused on and worse or would they be even worse if not identified and treated when young.

When I look at my peers and think how many of us, like myself were super hyper but how few were allowed to focus on our issues (get over it) and how few in fact escalated to more serious forms of the disorders I tend to think not shining a light on it and focusing on it and instead focusing past it and trying to ignore it (get over it) is the better option for all but a rare few. I struggle to understand the near epidemic levels of disorders today as compared to the past.

Another example is my best friends son. He was in a regular public school here in Canada. He was super hyper and disruptive and acting out in class constantly during his grade school years and for years the school wanted him on ritalin or some type of ADHD drug and to get therapy. His parents fought it until the school was going to expel him. Instead they got other advice and ended up moving to a small town with a small private school with only 25 kids in his grade where he could get more personal attention but most importantly the school was focused on extra curricular activities. They had strong sports programs and huge focus on fitness throughout the day and all a big music program.

This kid almost instantly went from being a failing student in the public system to a straight A award winning student while becoming a top athlete (he is on track for full US scholarships in hockey) and he is a top pianist in his region.

Instead of focusing on his problems his parents focused past them and on to solutions (get over it) and I can't help but think if he was ritalin'd up and put in therapy to deal with his issues back then he would still be a borderline D student with a whole host of other problems. Luckily his parents were wealthy enough to do that for him. I wonder how many kids could have been diverted this type of way.

So ya I suspect we live in an over diagnosed and over medicated society that seems to think embracing problems is the best way to treat them. I say that with all due respect to people with real unavoidable problems that they have no choice but to embrace and deal with and potentially medicate. I just think there is a vast swatch of society who is streamed that way, when it could be avoided and they end far worse down the road and then really needing the help.

WellI I think stuff like add and adhd is WAY over diagnosed in this country. And I agree the focus on medicating the shit out of everyone doesn't really solve problems. But it's another service model where if you're on pills forever they make money forever. Some people with say schizophrenia or bipolar really do need to be medicated, probably their entire lives. Some people with depression as well. But what a lot of people really need is therapy and a support system, better coping mechanisms. It's easier and more profitable to push pills though. Also, when it comes to dealing with mental health our science is still basically in its infancy

 

[Sir Galahad]

My friend committed suicide many years ago. She was friendly, gorgeous and smart. Never saw it coming. I heard suicidal people hide their darkest, deepest mental suffering really well. @Mike

 

[MikeMcMann]

WellI I think stuff like add and adhd is WAY over diagnosed in this country. And I agree the focus on medicating the shit out of everyone doesn't really solve problems. But it's another service model where if you're on pills forever they make money forever. Some people with say schizophrenia or bipolar really do need to be medicated, probably their entire lives. Some people with depression as well. But what a lot of people really need is therapy and a support system, better coping mechanisms. It's easier and more profitable to push pills though. Also, when it comes to dealing with mental health our science is still basically in its infancy

and quite frankly its the lazier and easier way. Just med the kid up and get him quiet and forget about him.

This was a young man who clearly suffered from not enough physical stimulation in the day which then resulting in him acting out in class, poor focus and poor results. i think so many young boys are being put on Ritalin for this exact same reason because schools cut out so much of the physical activity we used to have. Young boys can be like a young puppy. You don't exercise them and they will tear shit up.

Another example i would give is this growing epidemic of female teachers sleeping with young men in their classes. Now they bring in rape counselors to deal with the young men. Explain to them how they have been victimized and put together a course of therapy for the kid.

Fuck that. If that was my son I would take him for a walk 'ask him if he knows why it was wrong for the teacher to do that and for him to participate. Tell him ultimately myself and most young men would have done the same so i don't blame him but wanted him to understand the consequences particularly for the teacher. Then I would make a joke something along the lines of 'but it was pretty good wasn't it, with a wink and nod' and move on. I would not want him shamed or traumatized by it and I think he only would if he felt everyone judged him harshly for it.

Again its that chicken and egg thing. Is the kid traumatized and needing therapy or does the therapy (focus on it) become self fulfilling. I fear society today creates its own victims to then medicate.

 

[JSN]

Seemingly great life, doing what others only dream.

I don’t know if there are statistics around it, but it would seem to me that suicide is relatively common amongst celebrities.

 

[fastone]

She's used more heroin than him. NOw I really wonder whether he used again and did the self hate thing.

So you're saying this woman got him back on heroin and that's why he killed himself?

 

[therealdope]

So you're saying this woman got him back on heroin and that's why he killed himself?

It's possible. He was totally infatuated with her and she is full of more drugs than a pharmacy. Wouldn't be the first time it's happened.

 

[clutchCAT420]

Fuck that whore. Smh AB was played by her...

 

[Amerikuracana]

It's possible. He was totally infatuated with her and she is full of more drugs than a pharmacy. Wouldn't be the first time it's happened.

If you love somebody you have to be part of their world, or you become a nobody to them; an obstacle.

I lost a real love to alcoholism this way. Their brains lie to them to serve the addiction. You become "no fun" and somebody who "doesn't get it," because you aren't a junkie. It's a crappy way to lose somebody you love.

 

[supra]

I just remember her in Land of the dead, she'll always be in that changing room in my fantasies.


So I guess heroine and cigarettes are detrimental to your youthful appearance, who would have thought



Crazy thing about him killing himself, about a day or so after I was watching the episode of Archer he was a guest star, half the episode he kept telling everyone to kill themselves. Kind of caught me off guard when I kept hearing that.

Dude what have you been up to are you still living down there and mountain biking? Still got my diamond back but I got a rowing machine that I like better now.

 

[supra]

No reservations got me into cooking so I thank Tony for that but him slobbing over obama and talking bad about Trump turned me off. Guess his new show for liberal bitch cnn he had to act like that.

 

[syct23]

Mods..

Can we move this to the 'do you cook, thread now..?

 

[therealdope]

No reservations got me into cooking so I thank Tony for that but him slobbing over obama and talking bad about Trump turned me off. Guess his new show for liberal bitch cnn he had to act like that.

Supra meals loom.

 

[MikeMcMann]

No reservations got me into cooking so I thank Tony for that but him slobbing over obama and talking bad about Trump turned me off. Guess his new show for liberal bitch cnn he had to act like that.

And this is what I said upthread wa the trigger for many who are shitting on Tony now saying he was intolerant of people not like him both on this forum and in the comments elsewhere about his death.

Tony was arguably one of the most tolerant guys out there. He could show up in any country no matter how different and appreciate the people and their ways and adapt to them and not need them to adpat to him and always find a way to appreciate them no matter their differences. The definition of tolerant. When he traveled middle america and met many 'rednecks' he grew fiercely defensive of them against other liberals who would suggest they were stupid or other, despite the fact Tony is very liberal.

But still America is so polarized over politics that is seems the mere act of him liking Obama and spending time with him and him not liking Trump is not acceptable to a lot of people. It is not enough that you tolerate all people, you must now also 'like who I like or you are a horrible person'.

not saying this specific to you supra but more broadly to much of the hate being pushed Tony's way. It's sad.

 

[Merlotte's]

Not really a pleasure to read this thread. Holy shit. Love your family members and encourage healthy behavior. Mostly men commit suicide and that's shitty.

We had the opportunity to see what this man's life was like but we saw but a small fraction. Who the fuck knows but the people closest to him. And those people aren't us.

 

[Seaside]

It's possible. He was totally infatuated with her and she is full of more drugs than a pharmacy. Wouldn't be the first time it's happened.

Fuck that whore. Smh AB was played by her...

lol at blaming a woman.

dude was in his 60s it is just sad at that point to blame someone else for you being like that and doing drugs again and killing yourself.