I done goofed (Relationship related... yes EMO)

[Brampton_Boy]

I like you BP so don't take this as an attack. Have you considered getting off gear? Seems to be messing with your emotional state.

I was actually off steroids for the bulk of our relationship - she was extremely health conscious and we knew we wanted to start trying for children shortly after getting married (so it would take a while for my "boys to swim" if I didn't stop gear).

I would like to think that steroids have no bearing on my personality or emotional state, but I don't think I could honestly or objectively answer that question.

 

[indo80]

I was actually off steroids for the bulk of our relationship - she was extremely health conscious and we knew we wanted to start trying for children shortly after getting married (so it would take a while for my "boys to swim" if I didn't stop gear).

I would like to think that steroids have no bearing on my personality or emotional state, but I don't think I could honestly or objectively answer that question.

perhaps try a life coach and stop taking steroids, you might be depressed and are seeking answers in the wrong places. Try a psychologist and maybe stop trying to make gains in the gym unnaturally.

 

[shunyata]

It's been almost three months since I called off my engagement, and I regret it more and more each day. While I am not going to bore you all with the details of what happened, my (ex) girlfriend and I were going through a difficult time - we went to India together and basically fought none stop, and when we got back, I gave up. She had proposed going to relationship counciling, but in that moment, I thought we were just two different people (we loved each other, but we didn't see eye to eye on alot of issues).

In a twisted way, I rationalized it at the time that she deserved somebody who could be the man she wanted - I was obsessed with work and lived a life of routine, she prioritized balance and being adventerous.

Fast forward to now, and I am going stir crazy without her. A couple of weeks back, I caved and asked for a second chance, and she told me she needed "time and space" to make a decision - I don't think that bodes well. Truthfully, I am trying to accept the fact I can't change the situation, and just work on the things I know I struggle with in relationships.

Tonight was actually really difficult - I was out with friends, and there were a number of single woman in the group, and I honestly couldn't even fathom the thought of being with anyone else (or worse yet, think of her with another guy).

This fucking sucks. I'm 33 years old, and I'm acting like a teenager. I would give up almost anything for a second chance, but I know there isn't anything I can do to affect the situation.

I don't know why I'm sharing this, but I suppose the anonymity of the Internet makes it easier to get this off of my chest.

You're dumb.

I've been married ten years, have three kids, and we still have plenty of arguments and differences of opinion and style.

We balance each others extremes. She fills the social calendar, I schedule the rest and relaxation days. If planning activities fell to me, we wouldn't get out that much. If we let her pack everything she wants into the calender me and the kids are exhausted and want a lazy Sunday of rest.


This is normal. You saw normal and freaked out and ran away.

I was actually off steroids for the bulk of our relationship - she was extremely health conscious and we knew we wanted to start trying for children shortly after getting married (so it would take a while for my "boys to swim" if I didn't stop gear).

I would like to think that steroids have no bearing on my personality or emotional state, but I don't think I could honestly or objectively answer that question.

So you get depressed while on the let down from being off the gear................. and you ended the relationship. Depending on how long you were on the gear it isn't unusual that you could be in a lower T state for up to 6-12 months while your body recovers and rebalances. If that were the case the hormone imbalance can cause or contribute to depression.

Our friend here may have a point dude. Stop juicing get your shit together and if you love her call her up and start communicating.

 

[scorpipede]

It's been almost three months since I called off my engagement, and I regret it more and more each day. While I am not going to bore you all with the details of what happened, my (ex) girlfriend and I were going through a difficult time - we went to India together and basically fought none stop, and when we got back, I gave up. She had proposed going to relationship counciling, but in that moment, I thought we were just two different people (we loved each other, but we didn't see eye to eye on alot of issues).

In a twisted way, I rationalized it at the time that she deserved somebody who could be the man she wanted - I was obsessed with work and lived a life of routine, she prioritized balance and being adventerous.

Fast forward to now, and I am going stir crazy without her. A couple of weeks back, I caved and asked for a second chance, and she told me she needed "time and space" to make a decision - I don't think that bodes well. Truthfully, I am trying to accept the fact I can't change the situation, and just work on the things I know I struggle with in relationships.

Tonight was actually really difficult - I was out with friends, and there were a number of single woman in the group, and I honestly couldn't even fathom the thought of being with anyone else (or worse yet, think of her with another guy).

This fucking sucks. I'm 33 years old, and I'm acting like a teenager. I would give up almost anything for a second chance, but I know there isn't anything I can do to affect the situation.

I don't know why I'm sharing this, but I suppose the anonymity of the Internet makes it easier to get this off of my chest.

Are you the guy that was posting about a friend you were in love with but she was married or engaged or something?

If so, is this that lady? If no, you fall in love too much.

If it's not you, please disregard.

Carry on.

 

[Sharon Peters]

@Brampton_Boy
Do you have a strict routine but realize sometimes you have to break it for others or are you ocd about it

Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor had a routine and it resulted in him being a strapping fit old man. Meanwhile, Jill lived her life all Willy Jilly and it resulted in her being completely dependent on "The Tool Man" later in life, and an overall whiny cunt that made everyone in the house miserable.

Moral of the story: don't let nobody get in the way of the poutine.

 

[2DUM2TAP]

Listen bud.... if your guys were fighting all the time than you made the right choice.

Imagine what it would be like with the stresses of kids, finances, careers, families, and monotony years down the road.

Counseling wasn't going to fix that.

 

[blitzk]

It's easy to feel that way when you're not with her; absence makes the heart grow fonder. But think about how things were and how you felt when you were together, the reason(s) that lead to your break up. Nothing has changed, if you get back together, chances are, things would eventually lead to that same dynamic.

 

[Mike]

It's easy to feel that way when you're not with her; absence makes the heart grow fonder. But think about how things were and how you felt when you were together, the reason(s) that lead to your break up. Nothing has changed, if you get back together, chances are, things would eventually lead to that same dynamic.

This one hundred percent. Therapy can help but it's not magic.

 

[ralphc1]

to be fair, they went to the stinkiest most polluted place on earth.

They went to India, not New York City.

 

[ralphc1]

90% of the time, our relationship was great and I genuinely thought that we were meant to be together. However, when things were bad - they were REALLY bad (and I take responsibility for a lot of that). The last couple of weeks in our relationship brought out the worst in me, especially when we were traveling. When I gave up, it wasn't because I didn't love her - I just didn't think we were right for each other, and I didn't see a clear path forward.

In retrospect, I just don't know how to manage when we hit a rough patch. I have difficulty working through conflict, and would rather run than man up and face my problems. The only silver lining to all of this is that I am taking this time to work on being a better person - I am even going to a counselor to actually address the problems I have (and I hate asking people for help or being vulnerable)

Strangely, I think I knew I wanted to be with her within the first couple of dates - even when we were just hanging out as friends, we were talking about how we both wanted to adopt children in addition to being biological parents (which is a big deal for me).

While the situation sucks, I suppose it is better now than later (after marriage, kids etc)

You want to raise another man's children?

 

[Deleted member 391673]

They went to India, not New York City.

you really think NYC is worse than India?

 

[Mike]

You want to raise another man's children?

Somebody has to. Right now the state is allowing random forces to mold them into garbage monsters. People that want to adopt are fucking heroes.

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

She'll call you when you don't want her anymore. That's the rub.

The rub, indeed.

This is whatcha do:
Every time you're thinking of her and badly want to see her, rub one out.

Your interest in being with her will just fade away

 

[GOATER]

It's over bro.

Im 100% sure she moved on, "Time and Space" basically means no and/or Im already dating someone else....Have some respect for yourself and your well being and move on...It's gonna be hard but just do it.


Next time you are with a group of friends and with other girls, just be ur usual self and hit on them or whatever you did before you were with that girl.


The reason you broke up with her, was 100% correct/logical.....It would've probably ended in divorce or in a unhappy marriage....What your feeling right now, is loneliness and you miss having somebody with you........Im sure she had qualities that you miss but she also had horrible qualities and Im sure thats why you broke up with her.........Go out there and find another girl or whatever the hell that makes you feel as being productive/happy.

 

[Steven_Universe]

I was actually off steroids for the bulk of our relationship - she was extremely health conscious and we knew we wanted to start trying for children shortly after getting married (so it would take a while for my "boys to swim" if I didn't stop gear).

I would like to think that steroids have no bearing on my personality or emotional state, but I don't think I could honestly or objectively answer that question.

You seem pretty level headed to tell you the truth.

It’s one girl at the end of the day. More where that came from .

 

[Liquid Smoke]

The rub, indeed.

This is whatcha do:
Every time you're thinking of her and badly want to see her, bang one of her friends.

Your interest in being with her will just fade away

Fixed.

 

[Don Quixote]

Sounds like you were in love with the “idea” of a good relationship with this woman, but the reality was the relationship was anything but good and your mind is drifting back to that “fantasy” again.

I suspect you two will return back to the fighting again if you two end up together.