How the f**k do you make friends as an adult

[ThunderL1ps]

Going to the gym isn't enough as people are usually doing their own thing.

Join things where you have interest and maybe you'll meet like-minded. Sports, hobbies, spiritual, there is always something you can sign up for in your community.

Volunteering is a good suggestion by SmilinDesperado . That could involve helping others or helping yourself through skill development/sharing your knowledge while making connections.

 

[Kardashians]

When I first moved to BC I made profiles online to meet new people. I met a few tbh. For me, well, I'm very weird and awkward (surprise!!!) so I'd scare people off LOL. But for a normal person I think this would work out. They all seemed like decent people too, the girl was great tbh. You chat a couple days through messages/texts, then meet up for coffee. Is nice. If you're not a match you'll likely realize that during the couple days of online chatting so you shouldn't find yourself stuck with some lunatic at coffee lol. (unless they're like me, and hide that well online lmaooo).

Other than that I keep making online friends over a lot of years. Not sure if you fancy that. But it does give you somebody to talk to and that's worth something. But those just kinda happen. I've found the best way to draw people to me online is to act as obnoxious as possible LOL.

Hobbies or sports
Join a MMA or boxing gym. Get involved in some sort of hobby, take a class, or do some sort of group activity like volunteering

I literally JUST started volunteering at the church but like, it already seems like a great place to be. I don't know if I'll make friends there, or if I even want to lol. But just being around those people for a few hours chatting and shit is nice. Plus gives you something to do.

 

[Loiosh]

Honestly you cant force friendship.

The shit just happens. As an adult its harder.

Ive made a few really good friends in recent years. But i wasent looking for them. It just happened.

If it bothers you that much we can be friends!

This may be true for you, but it certainly isn't true for everyone.

It's remarkably easy to make friends. You don't force it, but it doesn't have to "just happen".

The trick is meeting decent people, and just as importantly, knowing them when you see them.

 

[Loiosh]

I literally JUST started volunteering at the church but like, it already seems like a great place to be. I don't know if I'll make friends there, or if I even want to lol. But just being around those people for a few hours chatting and shit is nice. Plus gives you something to do.

I was tricked into attending church years ago, it was a terrible experience. I went just to be around some new, decent people, and found myself in the middle of a group raging about the lie of evolution and the conspiracy to remove God from schools and damn our children to hell. I didn't know I was that close to that kind of people.

 

[EatMyShorts]

Don't shit on me too hard.. legit asking advice

I was an athlete in college didn't know what to do when it was all over. I thought grad assistant would be a good idea, but coaching positions are scarce. I find myself in Kansas City (not a big city, but big for me) and the only people i know are married.

I workout everyday but I'm in an area that seems to be made up of townies that all know each other..

My work colleagues are either incredibly older or are a little older and are too goal driven to connect with

So you're in a town full of frustrated, unsatisfied housewives - ripe for the plucking - and your concern is, "making friends".

Yeah - I don't think having friends is your real problem here pal....

 

[Kardashians]

I was tricked into attending church years ago, it was a terrible experience. I went just to be around some new, decent people, and found myself in the middle of a group raging about the lie of evolution and the conspiracy to remove God from schools and damn our children to hell. I didn't know I was that close to that kind of people.

Lol. Well, I'm volunteering at the church, and not attending the services. So I think that makes a difference?
They have a food bank, a "store" (they give people points to spend in the store, so they don't need cash), send clothes to other countries, furnish homes for those in need, and have support groups. Probably more, I forget. So that's what is focused on. It was all women there and they were hilarious and really nice and understanding, and just good to be around. The only thing that hinted at them being religious was they kept making religious type jokes? And I didn't get them AT ALL lol. Or they randomly start singing songs and they're church songs. But meh.

If I had experienced what you had I don't think I'd go back. I'm sure after spending more time there they'll say some "wtf" things. But I'm sure I'll get past it.

 

[BEER]

Join in community events and groups. That's the easy way.

Or do what I do: Find a bar you like, go often, and eventually you'll make friends. A Cheers situation.

 

[cmw43]

Don't shit on me too hard.. legit asking advice

I was an athlete in college didn't know what to do when it was all over. I thought grad assistant would be a good idea, but coaching positions are scarce. I find myself in Kansas City (not a big city, but big for me) and the only people i know are married.

I workout everyday but I'm in an area that seems to be made up of townies that all know each other..

My work colleagues are either incredibly older or are a little older and are too goal driven to connect with

TryMeetup.com, there's a couple of different active groups in Kansas City, here's the 18-30 group:

http://meetu.ps/c/2BQGZ/lc2Zv/d on Meetup

 

[OGquickdraw]

I feel your pain brotha. I took my new job a little over a year ago and I'm still in the same boat you are. Because of the title I hold where I work, I'm obligated to their no fraternization policy. When I had moved in the past, I would always get by making one work friend and then meeting their friends and branching out from there. Its hard as fuck to make friends with complete strangers, not even having a work friendship to ease into.

I actually have no advice what so ever, just well wishes and good luck.

 

[Pugilistic]

Can't believe nobody said sherdog. In the berry we already know each other's deepest darkest secrets. If you want to still be my friend knowing I'm a 5'5 manlet with no game, then you're a true friend.

 

[tonysmasseuse]

Somewhat surprising to hear this. Somehow got the impression all Americans are chatty, community-spirited extroverts.

 

[Fluffernutter]

Honestly you cant force friendship.

The shit just happens. As an adult its harder.

Ive made a few really good friends in recent years. But i wasent looking for them. It just happened.

If it bothers you that much we can be friends!

No joke. This is actually good advice.


Volunteering has certainly helped to make acquaintances that become friends (after all you meet people with similar interests).

But, yes. As you age it is indeed harder to make friends.

 

[CrimsonFan]

This may be true for you, but it certainly isn't true for everyone.

It's remarkably easy to make friends. You don't force it, but it doesn't have to "just happen".

The trick is meeting decent people, and just as importantly, knowing them when you see them.

Ive never met someone and thought, "were gonna be friends". Especially as an adult.

Real friendship takes a long time to form

 

[Fluffernutter]

Can't believe nobody said sherdog. In the berry we already know each other's deepest darkest secrets. If you want to still be my friend knowing I'm a 5'5 manlet with no game, then you're a true friend.

Fellow manlet checking in.

Married with kids.

Still have my health and my hair (even though in my 40s)

 

[El_Dyablo619]

find a building (abandoned/construction) and make a shrine to Jesus, sacrifice a baby pig with a needle, and let natural forces do the rest

 

[Loiosh]

Ive never met someone and thought, "were gonna be friends". Especially as an adult.

Real friendship takes a long time to form

I have, and I'm incredibly picky when it comes to who I spend my time with.

Maybe it's because I'm a manager who's interviewed thousands of people, I'm a good judge of character.

Also it's possible we aren't talking about the same thing. I'm talking about someone I share interests with and whose company I enjoy. It feels like you're talking about someone you can trust with secrets.

 

[lsa]

I feel your pain. I get forced to hang out with my girls friends boyfriend's while the girls do stuff together. They're all a bunch of 115lb hipsters. I tried to teach one to shoot a bow the other day and he couldn't even draw it. So I said ok let's go drink and he wouldn't because apparently the beer I had wasn't vegan. These are pretty much the only guys I meet nowadays

Are you sure you are not dead and ended up in Ironic Hell?

 

[Madmick]

You have to be the one to create situations to network with new people.

So throw a party/BBQ. Host a UFC.

Alternatively, invite people out. Offer to buy the first round of appetizers or drinks for a group of guys to head over to Dave & Busters to watch a game or fight. When you hear guys that you've acquainted talking about something that interests them, express an enthusiastic curiosity about what they're doing; you pick up new hobbies and new friends in one swoop.

Ask for help. Pretend to be vulnerable: not pathetic, but in need of guidance. People love that shit. They can't resist playing the life coach.

If all else fails, you're in Kansas, go to church.

 

[Loiosh]

Are you sure you are not dead and ended up in Ironic Hell?

 

[Amerikuracana]

No one gives a fuck about you "fly over states" and your habits of Archery and who has the better BBQ.
The Natives gave it up for beer and poker chips I'd suggest you do the same.

Nobody gives a fk about NY or LA either. If you're white and not very, very rich, you there to pretend you're something you're not while not having kids.